Against All Odds
by LaughingSmile
Summary: Sequel to Winner At A Losing Game. This about 8 years later. Alex is 27 and Marissa is 25.
1. A Nice Surprise

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**To those who were wondering about Alex's gift in the first story-it will be revealed in this story. Just be patient with me please.  
**

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"One tall hot chocolate and one grande café mocha."

"That's us Will," said a woman as she finished texting someone. The two made their way to pick up their order. The boy stretched out his hand for his drink but the woman shook her head. "I'll carry it back to the table for you." The pair was about to make their way back to their table when something caught the woman's eyes. "Hold on, Will. These cakes look absolutely delicious." As his grandma was trying to decide which cake she should get, Will got a whiff of her coffee. It smelled delicious. He suddenly wished his grandma hadn't ordered hot chocolate for him.

"Grandma?" asked the little boy.

"Yes darling?"

"Can I have coffee too?"

"No."

The boy pouted. "Why not?"

"It's a grown up drink, Will."

"Oh." Will pursed his lips. "So does that mean you have to be a certain age to drink it like mommy's and daddy's special drinks?"

The woman took her eyes away from the cakes and looked at her grandson. She didn't want to lie to him. "No, but it's not good for kids."

"Why not?"

"It stunts your growth."

Will let his grandmother's words sink in. "What does 'stunt' mean?"

The grandma gave a little laugh. "Are you ever out of questions?" The boy shook his head. "It basically means to stop or slow down. So when I say that coffee will stunt your growth, I mean that it'll keep you from growing. Trust me, with half of your dad's genes in you, you are already at risk for being short."

The boy looked at his grandma amazed. "Coffee can't really do that, can it?"

"That's what my mom told me."

"You drink coffee and you're not short. So does Mom, and she's not short too."

"Yes, but we didn't start drinking it until we were adults."

Will crossed his arms and looked skeptical. "Grandma I think you're making this up."

The woman couldn't help but smile. "Now why would I do that?"

"Mom says that you sometimes make up things to make you sound smart."

The woman rolled her eyes. "Your mom doesn't know what she's talking about."

"That's what she says about you. Hey look-there's a doctor. I bet she knows if it's true of not. Let's go ask her!" Before the woman could protest, Will was already walking very quickly towards the doctor.

Will walked directly up to the doctor and asked, "Does coffee really stop people from growing?"

"Excuse me?" The brunette doctor was waiting by the door to the boy's bathroom when she noticed a boy making his way rather quickly towards her. She figured he had to use the bathroom, so she was surprised when he stopped in front of her.

"Well, grandma said-"

"William Alexander Atwood! You know you are not supposed to run off by yourself!" huffed the angry woman.

Will dropped his eyes. "I know, but I wasn't running. I was walking very fast."

The grandma narrowed her eyes. "Don't get smart William. It's still the same thing. What if someone grabbed you and took you away. Away from your mommy and daddy. You'd never see them again. Is that what you want?"

Will continued to keep his eyes on the floor. "No."

The woman softened and hugged her grandson. "I didn't mean to yell. It's just, you know you're not supposed to that."

"I'm sorry grandma."

She let out a sigh. "Just don't do it again, okay?" She felt him nodding his head against her. She then remembered the doctor. She looked at the doctor. "I'm sorry about…." The grandma let her words trail off. There was something familiar about the doctor. Then it hit her. Her eyes widened. "Alex?"

Alex nodded her head. "Hey Julie." Alex couldn't believe the sight in front of her. One minute she was just standing there. Then, out of nowhere, a boy was asking her something about coffee. Before she could even register it, she heard a familiar voice. Better yet, she heard a familiar yell. She looked up to see that it belonged to the one and only Julie Cooper. Having been on the receiving end of her yells before, Alex couldn't help but feel a little bad for the boy. Seeing Julie softening up actually surprised the brunette. When the older woman finally acknowledged her, she saw the look of curious wonder spread on Julie's face. Alex saw the moment when Julie realized who she was. "How are you?"

Julie just continued to look at Alex. She just couldn't believe that she ran into Alex of all people. Then Alex's questioned registered. ""Uh, fine and you?"

"Good."

"Your hair…."

Alex reached out to touch her hair. "Yeah. I forget that I dyed it sometimes."

"It looks great," Julie said, still a bit shocked.

Alex smiled. "Thanks." Julie nodded absently. It wasn't until she heard her grandson's voice that she was brought back to reality.

"Do you know her grandma?" asked Will.

Julie shook her head clear. "She was a friend of your mom's. Alex this is my grandson Will. Will, this is Alex-is it still Kelly?" Alex nodded her head. "Oh, where are my manners? This is _Dr. _Alex Kelly."

"Just Alex is fine."

Will looked at the doctor. "You're really pretty."

"Thanks," replied Alex.

"But my mom's prettier," stated Will.

Alex nodded her head in agreement. "Of course."

Will gave her a smile. "My middle name's Alexander."

"I heard." Alex also heard his last name. Atwood.

"Yep. Mom says it's after a special friend of hers. Since I'm special too, Mom decided to give me the name too."

Alex remained silent. She wasn't sure what to think of that.

Julie let out a small nervous laugh. "This is certainly a nice surprise. Not to sound rude," began Julie, "but why are you standing outside the men's bathroom?"

As if on cue, two boys came out of the bathroom. "Mom! Joey splashed water on me," said the younger one.

"I did not," protested the older boy.

"Boys…" Alex said in tone that told them to stop arguing.

"Sorry mom," both said in unison.

Alex turned to face Julie. "Julie, Will-these are my sons Joey and Kyle. Joey, Kyle,-this is Julie Cooper-Nich-"

"Oh it's just Cooper now," interrupted Julie.

"Right. Joey, Kyle-this is Julie Cooper and her grandson Will."

"Hi," both boys said shyly.

"Hi, Nice to meet you two." Julie looked at the two boys. They didn't look much like Alex, apart from the hair. However, they didn't even have that since Alex was naturally blonde.

A silence fell upon the group, but it was quickly broken by Alex. "So Joey, Ms. Cooper thinks my hair looks great."

A smile crept over Joey's face. "I told you so."

Alex let out a laugh and rolled her eyes. She saw Julie's questioning look. "He was the one that told me I should dye my hair. He said I'd look great."

"Well, you've got a really smart kid there, Alex."

Alex noticed the triumphant smile on her son's face. "Please don't remind me. So, what are you doing in LA?"

"Just a little weekend getaway with my little man here," Julie answered as she ruffled Will's hair. "We have a table if you guys wanna-"

"Actually we are on our way out. Sorry, we just-"

"It's okay," assured Julie. "I guess…it was good to see you again."

Alex nodded her head. "Yeah." She took her sons' hands. "Boys tell Ms. Cooper and Will bye."

"Bye," Joey and Kyle said.

"I'll see you around Julie," Alex said. She turned her gaze towards Will. "It was great meeting you." Will smiled at her. "Bye." Alex and her sons left leaving a still surprised Julie Cooper.

"Darn!" exclaimed Will.

Julie looked at her grandson. "What is it?"

Will had a look of disappointment on his face. "I never got my answer."

Julie chuckled. "Don't worry. Something tells me that won't be the last time we see her."

"What do you mean grandma?"

Julie shook her head. "It's nothing. Now, tell me more of what your mom says about me."


	2. Tangible Proof

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for the reviews. Alex's two sons will be explained later in the story.**

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"Alex, are you okay?"

Alex snapped out of her daze at the sound of her name. She saw a tall blonde man standing in front of her. "Max? When did you get here?"

"Just got here. So are you? Okay, I mean."

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

Max shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, I don't know. It could be the fact that you've been kind of in another world since you got here. Or it could be the fact that your shift has been over for about 20 minutes now, and by now you are usually at home with your kids. However, I come out here on my break to find you _still_ here and sitting on the hood of your car. So...what's up?" When Alex didn't answer, Max sat beside her and gave her a little squeeze. "If its got you like this, then you know you should talk about it."

Alex nodded and let out a deep breath. "My past visited me today."

Max expected Alex to say more, but she didn't. He let her words sink in. Then, he had a pretty good idea what she may have meant by it. "Newport?" Alex nodded. Max had known Alex for about six years now. He didn't know everything about her and a certain Newport resident, but he knew enough. "Don't tell me it was-"

"No, it wasn't."

The blonde man let out a sigh of relief. "That's good cause-"

"It was her mother...and her son." Alex had a hard time getting that last part out. "They came to LA for a weekend getaway."

"Son?"

Alex rested her back on the hood. "Yep."

"Wow. Dare I ask who the father is?" The sound of Alex's scoff confirmed what Max had suspected. "Are you sure? I mean, are you sure he's actually her son or did you just assume?"

"Well, the kid calling Julie Cooper grandma kind of gave it away."

"Yeah, but you said she had a sister."

Alex nodded in agreement. "She does but I heard her mom saying the boy's full name. William Alexander Atwood. So that kind of gives it away too. I don't know. I suppose that it's possible that her sister and Ryan got together, but I'm thinking no." Alex scoffed. "Alexander. Apparently, the kid's middle name was after a special friend of his mom's. I don't know if I should be honored or insulted."

Max was speechless. "Wow."

Alex looked at her friend's back then looked back up to the sky. "Yeah. At least now I know that I did the right thing by leaving all those years ago." During the first few months after Alex left Newport, the girl had always wondered if maybe she made a mistake. That leaving was a rash decision. However, the now brunette was able to refrain from going back. It was hard, but Alex knew that she had to. The fact that Marissa never bothered to contact her helped to make it easier. She still wondered from time to time if she made the right choice. Now she knew.

Max turned to look at his friend. "I'm sorry."

Alex shrugged her shoulders. "Don't be. I've gotten over it. Over her."

"I know." However, the truth was there were times when Max wasn't sure if Alex was indeed over her ex. "Still, I imagine it was still hard running into those two, and knowing she has a kid with the reason why you guys broke up." Max scoffed. "With a guy she supposedly didn't love."

"Yeah, it was," replied Alex. "Truth be told, it still does a little and I hate that."

Max took one of Alex's hand and gave it a squeeze. "It's okay that it does. The son, this Will kid, is tangible proof that your fears were true. That kind of proof packs quite a punch. And you know, it's okay if you feel a little betrayed too. I mean, she claimed that she loved you and not him, but she never tried to talk to you. What did she do instead? She got back together with him, and now they have a kid. So yeah, it's definitely okay to feel betrayed. In fact, I insist that you do."

Alex gave her friend a grateful smile. Truth was she did feel a little betrayed. Maybe she didn't have the right to feel that way. It's been eight years, but the feeling was there nonetheless. "Thanks." Alex sat back up. "For everything, but I need to get going and relieve the babysitter. I'm already late as it is."

The two got off the car's hood. Max walked Alex to her door and opened it for her. Alex thanked him for the sweet gesture. "Look at the bright side," Max said as he held the door. "It's Sunday night so the weekend is up. The grandma and the grandson are probably already home and you don't have to worry about seeing them again. Seeing her again." Alex gave him another grateful smile as he closed her door. She started her car and mouthed bye to Max. She drove off hoping that her neighbor wouldn't be too mad that she was late. Alex soon felt a smile spreading across her face. She was on her way home, on her way to her boys.

--

At the same time, Julie Cooper was pulling up a driveway. She killed the engine and got out of the car as quietly as possible since Will was sleeping. Although she didn't really need to. The child could sleep through the wildest of thunderstorms sometimes, a trait he got from his mom. A movement caught Julie's eye. She saw Ryan making his way towards her. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hi," whispered Ryan. He looked past Julie to see his son passed out. How long has he been out?"

"A couple of hours," answered Julie. "Sorry we're late. We saw a sign for some fancy ice cream shop along the way, and I just couldn't say no to him. He had a great dinner before he ate the ice cream though."

Ryan chuckled. "Don't worry about it. You spoil him too much."

"I have to," replied Julie. "He's my grandson. My only grandson. My only grandchild. I have to spoil him rotten. However, if you give me more grandchildren, I can ration the amount I spoil."

"Whoa there. You're going to have to talk to the missus about that. You know, I'm not your only source for grandkids."

"Yes well, you're my only reliable source. And by reliable, I mean married. I'd rather not have a grandchild out of wedlock if I can help it."

"Would it really matter?" asked Ryan.

"No. It's just a preference."

Ryan laughed quietly. It still amazed him how much Julie loved Will. He never thought that Julie would be accepting of any kid that he fathered, grandchild or not. Yet, the oldest Cooper woman proved him wrong. However, he didn't mind being wrong on that one.

Ryan went to open the car door quietly. He unbuckled Will as gently as he could and pulled him into his arms. Unsurprisingly, the boy remained asleep.

Julie ruffled Will's hair a bit and whispered goodnight. "Oh hey, is Marissa still here?"

Ryan shook his head. "Already left for the girls' night out."

"Okay. Well, goodnight Ryan."

"Night Julie. I'm sure we'll see you soon."

"Bet on it," replied Julie as she got into her car. She waited until Ryan and Will were inside the house before she started her car. Despite the fact that Will could be a very a deep sleeper at times, Julie didn't want to risk waking him up. Before she drove off, she dug out her cellphone from her purse and dialed a number. It rang a few times before she got the voice mail. "Hello Marissa, it's mom. I know you're out with the girls right now enjoying your night out. Really though, a girls' night out on a Sunday? Kinda boring if you ask me. Anyway, I was hoping we could get together some time this week. The sooner, the better. I feel like we haven't connected in a while. What does a woman have to do to spend some quality time with her daughter? I'm not getting any younger, you know? I just want to spend as much time with you as I can before I'm dead and gone. Is that really so much to ask? Give a dying woman her wish. Talk to you soon." Julie hung up the phone and drove off. On her drive home, she kept replaying ways she could tell Marissa about Alex. Eventually, it came to a point where Julie wondered if she even should.


	3. Lame Jokes and a Common Ground

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for the reviews.**

**shassy25: **No, Julie isn't really sick. That was her trying to be dramatic. I should've made it more clear. Sorry!

**vero:** Sorry, but Ryan and Kaitlyn aren't together. Don't get too upset with Marissa though. Everything shall be explained.

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It was a beautiful night. The stars were out. The moon was full. There was a slight breeze in the air that kept the temperature at a comfortable level. Some people were still out. Some were just getting in from a wild night, and some were sound asleep. Among the sleeping was Julie Cooper.

Julie Cooper was sleeping soundly, enjoying probably the best dream she's had since who knows when. However, the sound of something ringing woke the woman up from her wonderful dream. Tired, and slightly annoyed, Julie blindly reached for her phone on the nightstand. She checked to see who was calling and inwardly groaned. She cleared her throat before she spoke. "Marissa, it's…I don't know what time it is, but it's late. Why are you calling me?"

"You called me remember," answered Marissa. After her long girls' night out Marissa just wanted to crawl into bed. However, for whatever reason, Marissa decided to call her mother back. "I'm just giving you a call back."

"You couldn't wait until the morning?"

Marissa heard a trace of irritation in her mother's voice and couldn't help but smile at that. She knew that had she waited, her mom would've gotten on her for taking so long to get back to her. "You were the one who said the sooner the better."

"Yes, well-"

"And what's with the pity me routine?" interrupted the lanky girl. "You make it sound like we don't ever see each other, which we do. Often."

"It's just been a while honey."

"Mom we saw each other right before you and Will left."

"Exactly. A weekend is a long time. A lot can happen in a weekend. Besides I missed you. Is that so wrong? We're having lunch tomorrow. Although technically, it's today."

"I'll have to check my schedule. I might have something planned." Although Marissa knew that she didn't.

"You do," Julie said yawning. You're having lunch with me."

"Mom…"

"Marissa please don't make do another pity routine. I'm too tired to actually mean it."

Marissa chuckled lightly. "Mom, you really are something else. I'll see you at lunch."

--

"Are you already eating?!"

The sound of her mother's voice was so unexpected, not to mention a little loud, that Marissa nearly chocked on the piece of chicken she was chewing on. She shot her mother a glare as she drank some water. "Are you trying to kill me mother? I thought you wanted to spend more time with me. You can't do that if I'm dead."

"Oh ha ha," Julie said sarcastically as she took her seat. "Serves you right for starting without me."

"You're 45 minutes late," replied the brunette. "You weren't answering your phone, and I was hungry. I got you some water though. See, I wasn't completely inconsiderate." Marissa flashed her mom a cheeky smile.

Before Julie could make a comment, the waiter came by. "Good afternoon ma'am. Can I interest you in our specials today?"

"Just a salad please," answered Julie. "The house salad with French dressing."

The waiter nodded as he jot down her order. "Would you like something else to drink?" Julie shook her head. "We'll I'll be back with your salad in a bit."

"You were the one that invited me. Remember?" Marissa said after the waiter left. "You're lucky I was starving. I would've left otherwise."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just lost track of time." Truth was Julie had been in the parking lot all that time. As soon as she arrived she was caught in another mental battle with whether or not she should tell Marissa about Alex. You kept weighing and reweighing the pros and cons in her head. In the end, Julie decided that if it was her, she'd want to know.

Marissa could tell something was up with her mom. "Mom, are you okay?"

Julie looked at her daughter. "I'm not sure how to answer that."

"What do you mean? Not having trouble with husband number…what is it-ten?" Marissa teased. Just then the waiter came back with Julie's order. Julie thanked him and assured him that that was all they needed at the moment. Marissa took in her mom's sad smile. "Mom, is everything okay between you and-"

"Yeah, yeah. We're fine. It's not that." Julie fell silent again. She walked into the restaurant with the intent of telling her daughter, but she was having second thoughts again. It had taken Marissa a very long time to get over Alex. Could she really tell her daughter something that could potentially set her back again? It was nothing short of painful watching her daughter trying pick herself up. However, as much as it hurt, Julie knew it was nothing compared to what Marissa must've been going through. They were all there for her, but in the end, none of them could take her place. Marissa was still the one who felt the pain. Although if Julie could've, she would've more than willingly gone through that pain for her oldest daughter.

During Julie's silence, Marissa took the time to look at her mom. She was trying to figure out what was up with her. She could tell that her mom was struggling to tell her something, but she didn't have a clue what it could be. What could possibly have her mom this nervous? Then a thought hit Marissa. "Oh my god! You're not really dying are you?"

Julie chuckled. "No. I just…I find myself stuck between that proverbial rock and a hard place. There's something that I want to tell you. I just…I just don't know if I should."

Marissa reached out and gave her mom's hand a squeeze. "It's okay mom. Just tell me. I'm all grown up now. I can take it."

A nostalgic smile crept on Julie's face. "You have definitely grown up. You and Kaitlyn grew up way too fast." Marissa gave her mom's hand one more squeeze before retracting it. Julie cleared her throat. It was now or never. "I ran into someone in LA."

"Yeah, Will was telling me that you met an old friend."

"I wouldn't say were friends. Although looking back now, I wish we were."

"Don't tell me it was another one of me exes that you slept with. That's so last decade," teased Marissa.

Julie gave her daughter a slightly annoyed look. "As much as I love the fact that we've reached a point in our relationship where we can joke about my mistakes, let's not."

"Reached and surpassed Mom. I'm sorry you didn't like my joke. Besides Will told me it was a girl so that scenario's out. Unless, of course, it was one of the girls you did some experimenting with back in the day. If that's the case, please spare me." Marissa made a disgusted face.

Julie continued to look at her daughter. "I'm trying very hard not to throw this piece of lettuce your way."

Marissa feigned shock. "You wouldn't dare! We can't have the great Julie Cooper getting caught acting so unladylike." Marissa quietly laughed at her own statement, but stopped when she saw the look on her mom's face. She decided not to test her mother's lettuce throwing ability. "Okay, okay. So you guys weren't friends? Why not?"

"We just didn't see eye to eye on things. We were both strong willed. In the beginning, we fought over something. Someone. I didn't think she was good enough, and she…didn't care. She thought differently. However, eventually, what we were fighting over became our common ground. We realized that we didn't need to like each other. We just needed to accept each other. Somewhere along the way, I realized she wasn't that bad. I never admitted it to her though."

"Of course not," Marissa said. "That's not the Julie Cooper thing to do. So this guy must be hot stuff for the both of you to be fighting for him. I'd guess Dad, but you and Kirsten never really fought over him. So who is he? Who is this common ground? And what does this have to do with me? I know! This guy is my real father isn't he? Ooooh, Newport hasn't seen a scandal this big since…..I don't know."

"Are you done with your lame jokes that are supposed to be funny but aren't?" Julie fired back.

Marissa let out a dramatic sigh. "Sorry. Continue please." However, once again her mom fell silent. She suddenly felt bad for making her jokes. She was just trying to put her mom at ease. She decided to urge her mom along. "Common ground…."

"Right. That common ground….." Julie took a breath. "That common ground was you honey. You meant too much to the both of us so we decided to suck it up for your sake. I knew that if I kept pushing, I'd push you away permanently, and she didn't want to be the reason for that."

Marissa was beyond confused. She shook her head. "I don't…" Marissa looked at her mom for more clarification.

"It was Alex Kelly. I ran into Alex in LA."


	4. Zoning Out

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for the reviews. Sorry I took a bit longer with this update. Have a friend in town so we've just been busy doing retarded things. Not too much going on this chapter, but I promise it'll pick up soon.**

* * *

In the Newport Living office, everyone was in a rush. Phones were ringing. People were running around or doing some world record typing on the computer. A deadline was coming up and everybody was rushing to put some finishing touches on their work.

There was only person that wasn't in a frenzy. In an office on the fifth floor, a brunette was sitting behind her desk just zoning out. She too had a deadline, but she couldn't bring herself to worry about it. She'd curse herself as the deadline drew closer, but for now, it just wasn't a priority.

Marissa was just sitting there staring out of her window. However, she wasn't really looking at anything. It was just the direction her eyes were in. She found herself getting lost in her thoughts. Again. Ever since her lunch with her mom, all Marissa could think about was Alex. She's relived all their memories at least million times. She couldn't get them out of her mind even if she tried. Food and sleep had become strangers to her. Nothing could keep her mind off the once blonde girl of her past. Not work. Not her family and friends. Nothing.

"Marissa!"

At the sound of her name, Marissa was shaken out of her thoughts. "Summer? What are you doing here?"

"We're supposed to have lunch remember?"

Lunch. She was still recovering from her last lunch outing and that was a few days ago. "Sorry Sum. I kind of forgot."

Summer looked at her best friend. She knew something was up with Marissa. The last few days she's been distant and not as talkative. The short brunette tried to get Marissa to talk about it, but the taller girl always refused. She tried again last night when she had dinner with her, Julie and Will, but she got nowhere. Summer didn't want to push Marissa, but she was beyond worried. "That's okay. Get your purse and let's go. I'm starving!"

"Actually, can we reschedule? I'm just not in the mood."

Summer went to sit in front of her friend. "Marissa, please tell me what's wrong."

Marissa looked at Summer. She was about to tell her usual answer of nothing, but she stopped herself. Looking into the concerned eyes of her friend, Marissa knew it'd be selfish of her to keep it to herself. She didn't want to be the reason why there was so much worry and concern in Summer's eyes. Not again. She breathed in a breath and let it out slowly. "I had lunch with my mom the other day, and she told me something, and I just...I don't know how to take it."

"What is it?" Marissa let her mind wander back to her lunch with her mother.

--

_"It was Alex Kelly. I ran into Alex in LA."_

_At the sound of her past lover's name, Marissa froze. At first, she thought maybe she misheard her mom. However, seeing the worried look upon her mom's face, Marissa knew she had heard her right. Alex Kelly. It was a name that's been haunting her for eight years. A name that brought her both joy and pain. It was a reminder of what she lost, of who she lost, due to her stupidity. It was a regret. Alex Kelly was her regret._

_All of a sudden, memories started to flood the brunette's mind. Memories of her and Alex. She remembered the first time they met. She remembered their first date. She remembered their first fight. Marissa remembered everything. Unfortunately, the memory of Alex leaving was also included. Marissa closed her eyes in an effort to suppress the memory, but she couldn't. She felt herself starting to tear up, but she wouldn't allow them to come. "Marissa?"_

_Julie was starting to get worried. Since she broke the news, Marissa hasn't said a word. Then all of a sudden, Julie saw her daughter closing her eyes. She wanted to give her daughter some time to digest the information, but more minutes were passing and Marissa was still just sitting there-eyes closed and not saying anything. Julie reached out and took her daughter's hand in hers. "Marissa?" No answer. "Sweetie, are you okay?"_

_Marissa opened her eyes and saw her mother's worried ones. She let out a breath. "Will said that A-" Marissa couldn't bring herself to say her name, "...that the woman has kids." _

_Julie nodded her head. "Yes. She has two kids. Alex has two boys, two beautiful boys."_

_"H-he also said she's a doctor."_

_"Mmm-hmm. Isn't that something? I didn't realize that she had such ambitious plans. Did you know she wanted to become a doctor?"_

_Marissa shook her. She didn't know. Marissa always figured that Alex didn't want to spend the rest of her life at the Bait Shop, but a doctor? Marissa truly had no idea._

_"Oh! She's a brunette now too."_

_"Brunette?" whispered Marissa._

_"Yeah. It looks great on her. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought she was a natural brunette."_

_After a few minutes of silence, Marissa finally spoke up again. "I think I'm going to go." She got up quickly._

_Julie quickly followed suit. "Honey-"_

_"Mom, I'm fine. It's just a lot to take in that's all. I need some time to clear my head." Marissa opened her purse to get out some money._

_"I've got lunch," said Julie._

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yeah." _

_"Thanks." Marissa went to give her mom a hug. "I'll call you later."_

_"You better," Julie said as she let the brunette go. As she watched her daughter leave, Julie couldn't help but fear that she made a mistake in telling her daughter. She could've very well just destroyed the little bits of happiness that took her daughter years to regain._

Hearing Marissa's story, Summer found herself speechless. She couldn't even begin to imagine what her best friend must be going through. Her mind was probably in overdrive. Summer quickly got out of her seat and rushed to Marissa's side. She pulled her into tight hug. "Marissa I...I don't what to say. How are you? Are you okay? Of course you're not okay. What a stupid question. I just...I don't..."

"Sum, it's okay." Marissa went to wipe her eyes. She doesn't even know when she started crying. "I'm...I don't know what I am. I don't if the fact that she's so close a good thing or a bad thing. She's probably been there all this time. So close." Marissa let out a sigh. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do Summer. What am I supposed to do? Tell me, please."

Summer held the girl tighter. "I don't know." Then, a thought hit the short girl. "Have you told Ryan?"

Marissa shook her head. "You're the first person I told. I don't know how to tell him."

Summer pulled back to look at the girl. "You should tell him."

"I know, and I will. I just don't know how he'll react."

Summer was about to say something, but her phone started to ring. She looked at Marissa. "Sorry about that." She was about to hit the ignore button, but Marissa stopped her.

"It's okay. Answer it." Marissa saw the unsure look on her friend's face and continued to assure her. "Really. Go ahead."

Summer nodded her head and answered her phone. "Hey...what about...did you check...okay, okay. I'll be right there." Summer hung up her phone and looked at Marissa. "That was Taylor. There's this emergency at work, and I have to-"

"It's okay. You go ahead."

Summer felt terrible for having to leave her friend. "Are you sure cause I-"

"Simmer," interrupted Marissa, "it's fine. Go."

"Okay. I'll call you as soon as I am free." Summer went to give Marissa one last hug and went to leave. As she reached the door, she turned back around. "You know, you should probably tell Taylor too. I mean, I know that things are a little...bad between you guys, but she has a right to know too. She did loose Alex too. We all did."

Marissa nodded in agreement. "I know. I just don't know if she'd grant me an audience."

"Try," urged Summer. "I just think that it'd be better coming from you. The sooner the better. You don't want Taylor accusing you of keeping this from her."

"No, I definitely don't. She has enough reason to hate me."

"She doesn't hate you. She just..." Summer searched her brain for a better way of describing Taylor's feelings towards Marissa.

"It's okay Sum. You don't have to sugarcoat it for me."

Summer gave Marissa a sad smile. "If she doesn't give you the time of day, I'll tell her."

"Thanks. Now get going. You don't want her hate you too." Summer gave her another sad smile before she turned around and left. Marissa sank deeper into her cheer as she let out a breath. She looked at her phone and grabbed it. She started dialing a number before she lost her nerve.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ryan."


	5. Firsthand Knowledge

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**shassy25:** You'll get to fully understand their situations more soon. I just gotta shoot out a couple more chapters.

**bigblusky: **I'm very glad that you want more. It's what I like to hear. I know that Marissa being with Ryan isn't the greatest idea to accept. It's no fun to write either.

**tricks4peanuts:** They'll meet soon enough. Just be patient a little longer. Please.

**LilianGish: **Short is fine...at least you reviewed. It's still very much appreciated.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Hey Ryan." Marissa twirled the phone's cord around her finger. "I'm not disturbing you am I?"

"Of course not," assured Ryan. "What's up?"

"Well, I know that mom has Will tomorrow night."

"Again," Ryan said, pretending to be annoyed.

Marissa smiled. "You can't blame her for loving her grandson."

Ryan chuckled. "No, but there is this concept called too much love."

"It doesn't exist among grandparents. They're immune to it."

"Ah, I never knew that. That explains a lot." Marissa laughed nervously, which Ryan noticed. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Marissa cleared her throat. "Everything's good. I was just wondering, since Will's gone tomorrow night, how does dinner for two sound like? Just you and me. It's been too long since we've done that."

Despite Marissa's assurance that everything was fine, Ryan knew that something was up. "I think it sounds great. It has been too long."

"Great! Uh, we'll just go over the details tonight. I have a deadline I need to meet. I'll see you soon. Bye." Marissa hung up the phone before Ryan had a chance to say goodbye. The brunette didn't mean to cut him off. Her nerves were just getting to her. She sank into her chair, wishing she could just skip to the part where she's already told Ryan.

--

Ryan sat in the restaurant waiting for Marissa. He checked his watch again. She was ten minutes late. He decided to give her another ten minutes before he'd call. He used to be annoyed a little by this, Marissa always running late. However, ever since Will came into his life, he's become much more patient. It wasn't like he had a choice though. Will was a great kid, and Ryan loved him more than life itself. The little boy just had way too much energy sometimes. Combine that with a curious nature and it was all too much for Ryan sometimes. As he continued to think about his boy, a smile was forming on his face. Will could continue to try his patience until the end of time, and Ryan wouldn't care. At the end of the day, Will was his. His son. That was all that mattered.

"Hey, I'm so sorry that I'm late."

Ryan's thoughts faded when he heard Marissa's voice. "Don't worry about." He looked at Marissa just standing there. "Well, sit down already."

"Right." Marissa leaned over to give Ryan a quick peck before she too her seat. "Work. I just got caught up in this article I was writing."

"Don't worry about it," Ryan said. "Work has a way of taking up our time."

Marissa gave Ryan a weak smile. She then closed her eyes and sighed. "That's a lie." She opened her eyes to see Ryan looking confused. "I-I mean, I was working on an article, and I really did lose track of time. It just happened earlier...I mean...that wasn't why I was late. I was late because...because I was nervous. There's something I have to tell you and I was nervous about it and I lost track of time..." Marissa let her sentence trail off as she recall some similar words being said to her a few days before. She let out a chuckle. "Now I know how my mom must've been feeling."

"Uh..." began Ryan. "I'm kind of...lost."

The brunette laughed nervously. "I'm sorry. I'm just...just nervous."

Ryan took Marissa's hands into his. He offered her a smile. "Hey." Marissa looked up and into Ryan's eyes. "How about we skip dinner, for now, and go for a walk. The beach maybe? I know that helps soothe you." Marissa felt herself getting teary-eyed due to Ryan's kindness and understanding. Ryan saw this and went to wipe a tear that fell down. "Hey-why are you crying?"

Marissa sniffled. "I'm sorry. My emotions are just not as stable these days."

Ryan got up and pulled Marissa along with him. He threw an arm around her and comforted her. "Let's go."

--

The two had been walking on the beach, arms linked, for almost an hour now. Ryan didn't want to push Marissa into talking. He wanted her to do it at her own pace.

Marissa came to a halt. She looked at Ryan's confused expression. She could still see the concern in his eyes. Everyone seemed to be concerned for her again these days. It was like she was a victim or something. She wasn't. If anything, she was the predator. No, Marissa was far from being the victim. Someone else was. She was. "Let's sit." Ryan nodded his agreement.

They sat side by side. Marissa was hugging his arm and had her head on his shoulder. Both were just staring out into the water. "You're too good to me, you know? Too good for me."

"Nonsense."

"It's true." Marissa didn't say anything after that for a while. Realizing she had put things off long enough, Marissa cleared her throat and prepared herself. Ryan could tell Marissa was gearing herself up to tell him something, something huge. He gave her his undivided attention. "Mom ran into Alex in LA."

A short silence ensued. Marissa wasn't sure how to take it. "Alex," Ryan said, "as in..."

Marissa nodded her head. "Yeah. She told me a few days ago."

Of all the things Ryan was expecting, this completely threw him. "Wow." He placed a hand on one of hers. "How are you taking it?"

Marissa scoffed. "Not too well. I feel like...like a mess. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take the news. I've been trying to push it out of my mind. To forget it, but I can't. My memories keep attacking me. It's like they're punishing me, torturing me. Then, there's this small part of me that doesn't want to forget. It likes knowing that she's only an hour away. Then another part of me is angry and annoyed to know that's she's probably been this close all these years. Then, I feel guilty cause I have no right to be angry. None whatsoever. I just...I just don't know."

As Ryan listened to Marissa, he could hear the confliction in her voice. He could hear the struggling, the pain. He gave her hand another squeeze. "You should go see her."

Marissa heard Ryan's words, but she couldn't believe them. "What?"

Ryan pulled back a little so that they could see each other. He nodded his head. "You should."

"Aren't you angry or upset?"

Ryan shook his head. "Alex was a huge part of your life, and if we're honest with ourselves, she'll always have a part of your life. A part of your heart. I was there, so I know that fact firsthand. The thing is, if you don't see her, it'll always get to you. You'll always wonder, and that'll eat you alive."

"What if she doesn't want to see me?"

"You should at least try. She may just slam the door in your face, but at least you could say that you tried. I'll admit that there is a part of me that's afraid that her rejection will set you back, send you back to the way you were. However, if you see her, then maybe you can get some kind of closure. Then maybe, you'll be a hundred percent again. I need you to be whole again, or at least as close to it as you can be. The only way you can do that is if you see her. If you won't do it for yourself, then do it for Will. He's just a kid, but he knows that something's up with you. He's worried about you. You don't want to be the reason why he's worried, do you?"

Marissa shook her head. "No." They fell into another silence. "You're too understanding, you know? You should be upset with me."

"Like I said, I was there. That kind of firsthand knowledge is pretty handy." Ryan let out a sigh. "You should tell Taylor."

Marissa smiled. "Summer said the exact same thing. Any chance you want to do that for me? She doesn't completely hate you."

"Not yet anyway. Tell you what, we can tell her together. Maybe then she'll cut us both some slack, and grant us a temporary reprieve. Maybe she'll even be civil."

Marissa sighed. "I doubt that."

"Are you going to see her?"

"I don't know. I don't know if I can go through with it. Not yet anyway. I'm just not ready."

"The thing is," Ryan said, "will you ever be ready?"

Marissa gave Ryan a small smile. She didn't need to answer that. They both knew the answer. "Could we just stay here a little longer?"

"Sure." Marissa went to lay her head back on Ryan's shoulder, and the two of them continued to watch the waves for a little while longer.


	6. Packed and Ready

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for all the reviews! I love reading them, and I really do appreciate them.**

* * *

"Are you sure you've got everything?"

"It's just the weekend Ryan," answered Marissa. "There's not much I need."

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just saying. Besides, girls tend to over pack. _You_ tend to over pack."

Marissa playfully rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Mom, I'm leaving!" After their talk last night, Marissa knew that she had to see Alex. She really didn't have a choice in the matter. She was just glad that she had Ryan's blessing. Marissa also knew that she had to do it quickly in case she chickened out again. She had originally decided to leave Friday after work, but she woke up this morning with a sense of urgency. For whatever reason, she needed to see Alex-the sooner the better. She tried to shake it off. It was Thursday, surely she could wait another day. However, as the day wore on, the urgency only increased. It increased until she had no choice but to go and to go now. Before she knew it, she was already packing her things. Both her and Ryan were now at Julie's saying a last minute goodbye.

"Shhh!" reprimanded Julie as she entered the foyer. "You're going to wake up Will."

"Mom, there could be an explosion next door and he'd still be asleep. Wait-he fell asleep?" Julie nodded. Marissa gave her mom a look. "You didn't put him to sleep on purpose did you?

"Now, why would I do that?" Julie asked innocently.

"Oh, I don't know," started Ryan, "maybe cause you think that since he's already asleep, I'll let him stay the night with you."

"Oh hush," said Julie. "You already said goodbye to him so it's not like you missed that opportunity. You did, right?"

Marissa nodded. "Barely. He was too excited to play with this new toy that you bought him." The brunette let out a sigh. "Another weekend without Will. I feel like I barely see him these days."

"That's cause you don't," Ryan said. "None of us does. _Somebody_ keeps hogging him."

"Hey!" exclaimed Julie. "He's hanging out with his grandpa this weekend, not me. This fishing trip has been planned for a while now so you weren't going to see him regardless."

"Yeah?" dared Ryan teasingly. "What's your excuse for all the other times?" Marissa looked between the two, smirking and enjoying their "fight."

"Well, I..." Julie searched her mind for an excuse but came up empty. Then, she jutted out her chin defiantly and said, "I don't need a reason. I'm Julie Cooper." She turned to face her daughter. "Here."

Marissa took the piece of paper her mom was holding out. "What's this?"

"It's a letter sweetie," replied Julie. "I would've thought the envelope would've gave that away. Honestly darling, sometimes I wonder how you made it through college." Julie saw her daughter rolling her eyes but ignored it. "It's for Alex. If you could kindly give that to her for me, I'd appreciate it." Marissa gave her mom a curious look. She wanted to ask why her mom was giving Alex a letter, but she wasn't given the chance. "Oh, and this is for you."

Marissa took the paper and saw an address scribbled on it. "What's this-and please spare me the sarcastic answers."

"I googled Alex," Julie answered simply. "I figured that since she was doctor, she'd be listed somewhere. That's where she works. The number's there too."

Marissa looked at the address again. She was so consumed with her decision to go tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow, that Marissa completely forgot about the fact that she had no clue where to look for Alex. She hadn't even booked a hotel room yet. She was just going to drive there and check in somewhere randomly. "Thanks Mom." She pulled her mom in for a hug.

"Okay, okay," interrupted Ryan. You should probably get going. I'll walk you to the car." He turned to look at Julie. "I _will_ be taking Will home tonight."

"Fine," huffed Julie. She gave Marissa one last hug. "I love you, and I wish you luck sweetie."

"Thanks Mom," said Marissa. She gave her mom a kiss. "I'll call you."

"You and my mom are something else," Marissa said as Ryan walked her to the car. "You guys give "battle of wills" a whole new meaning."

Ryan smiled. "What can I say? I love giving her a hard time. Always have." Ryan turned serious. "She knows how much it means to me that she's so accepting of Will...and me."

"Of course she is," assured Marissa. She cupped Ryan's cheek. "No one can resist the Atwood charm for long."

Ryan smiled and pulled Marissa in for a hug. He pulled back a little, put still held on to her. "This is it. Nervous?"

"Oh you know, only a lot."

Ryan gave Marissa a little squeeze. "It'll be okay. If she refuses to see you, don't let that stop you. Remember you're your mother's daughter, use that if have to. Just use it carefully."

Marissa gave a curt laugh. "Yeah. I should get going." She gave Ryan a kiss before entering her car.

"Call me when you check in," Ryan said as he closed the car door.

Marissa nodded. She reached for Ryan's hand through the open window. "Thank you for being so understanding and sweet and caring...for being you."

Ryan shrugged off her gracious words. "It's too hard to be someone else." He tapped the hood. "Get going already."

Marissa gave him a mock salute. "Yes sir! Love you."

"Love you too." Ryan stood back and watched her drive off. As soon as she was out of sight, Ryan turned around and made his back into Julie's house. He braced himself for whatever she may have come up with to convince him to let Will stay.

--

Marissa had been driving for twenty minutes when she turned into an apartment complex. She had to make one last stop before she made her way into LA. She got out of her car and made her way to the apartments.

When she found the door she was looking for, Marissa took a breath and knocked. She waited a bit, but got no answer. Frustrated, she began to knock again. This time, however, she didn't stop. She kept knocking repeatedly until finally it was yanked open.

"What the hell is your prob-Marissa?'

"Hey Seth!" exclaimed the brunette. "Can I come in? Great!"

Seth stood there a little dumbfounded. He had fallen asleep working on one of his comics when all of sudden he heard someone incessantly banging on his door. He stepped aside as Marissa invited herself in and closed the door. "Uh...hi?"

Marissa walked to the middle of the room and turned around to face Seth. "Sorry about the knocking. You weren't answering.

"I was asleep," Seth answered as he rubbed his eyes.

"Oh." Marissa shrugged her shoulders. "That would explain it then. So...you busy?"

Seth looked Marissa. She was acting strange, and he was curious as to why. "No-"

"Are you busy this weekend?" Marissa interrupted. "Any solid plans?"

"Not really-"

"Great! Want to go to LA with me?"

Seth just stood there trying to make sense of Marissa's visit. "LA?" Marissa nodded. "Uh..."

"Come on Seth," urged Marissa. "It'll be fun. When was the last time we hung out together?"

Seth scratched his head. "Uh..."

"Exactly! So let's go!"

"Now?"

"Yeah! Let's go pack your things." Marissa set out to walk to Seth's bedroom. As she made her way there, Seth rushed past her and blocked the entrance to his room.

"Wait a minute!" Seth held out his hand as his continued to make sense of things. "Why do you want to go to LA all of a sudden? And why are you in such a hurry to get there? How long are you staying there and don't you have work?"

"I'm taking tomorrow off. I'm only going to be there for the weekend and I need as much time as I can get, which is why I took Friday off and why I'm leaving tonight. It's slightly last minute, but I need to do it now before I talk myself out of it. As for my reason why, I..." Marissa looked at Seth. She opened her mouth to tell him, but no words came out.

Seth studied Marissa and realized her nervousness. He also noticed something else. She seemed a little scared. "Hey-is everything okay?"

Marissa let out a long sigh. "I don't know. I...I just..." Marissa let out another sigh and made her way to the couch. Seth followed. "She's there...in LA."

Seth wasn't sure what the girl was talking about. "Who's there?"

"Alex. S-she's in LA. Mom ran into her last weekend."

"Oh," was Seth's response. I wasn't sure what else to say. A silence fell upon the two. Eventually, it was broken by Seth. "So that's why you're going to LA."

Marissa nodded. "I need to see her. As Ryan pointed out, it'll drive me insane if I don't."

"Ryan knows?" Marissa nodded. "So why do you want me to go?"

"Cause I'm not sure if she'll want to see me, not that I'd blame her. I have to though Seth. I have to. I figure she may turn me down, but not a former friend. You and Taylor were the closest friends that she had. She may hate me, but there's no reason why she'd feel that about you two. I'd ask Taylor, but..."

Seth nodded in understanding. "I get it." Seth let out a sigh as he got up and walked around. He did miss Alex, and the thought of seeing her again made him happy. Too many years had passed since they'd seen each other. Seth didn't want any more time to go by.

Marissa watched as Seth was pacing. The longer he paced, the more worried she was. She couldn't afford to have him turn her down. "The truth is...I'm also scared. More than likely, she wants nothing to with me, but I at least have to try. However, I'm not sure if I can do it alone. I'm not strong enough. I need someone there to make sure I don't chicken out."

Seth stopped his pacing and looked at Marissa. "Why me?"

"I told you why."

"Yeah, but if it' a friend you need, why not Summer? She is your best friend."

"I know, but I want you."

"Why?"

"Cause you've missed her as much as I have. I know everyone's missed her, but like I said, you and Taylor were friends with her. So I know that you've missed her as much as I have. I figure this way I could make it up to you. I was the reason you lost her friendship. I just want to have some role you guys potentially rekindling your friendship. It's the least I can do."

Seth thought about what Marissa said, but the truth was he didn't have to think too hard. He would've gone regardless. "I'm in."

Marissa smiled widely. "Great! Let's get you packed!" With the two of them packing, they had Seth ready in record time. They got into Marissa's car and were ready to start their journey.

As Marissa left the apartment complex, Seth said, "LA here we come!"


	7. Backside

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
**

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

**haelthy:** Your version of Alex's reaction might be better than mines-you never know. Hopefully my version won't disappoint.

**vero:** They don't quite meet...yet. It's just a little longer.

**shassy25:** I figure Seth would make a great travel buddy. Plus, I just absolutely adore him.

**pagey46:** As I told vero, no meeting as of yet. The explanations are coming.

**LilianGish:** Here's more for you. Hope you like it!

**Unknown lazy ass:** In your words, "wow, just wow." Thanks for your review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the first one, and that you are enjoying this one as well. Ryan will be explained, as with everything else. I won't lie. I am trying to make him likable, and Julie. We'll see if I am successful. I will say that he's not cocky. As for the House comment-I love House. I loved it even more when Olivia Wilde came on board. However, the idea to make Alex a doctor was always there regardless. I even thought about about making her character be 13, but decided against it. She's very much Dr. Alex Kelly in this one. Yes, I love my Seth. He's my fave, second to Alex. I'll try to make Marissa's character more colorful. As for Will, I'm not sure how I want to play him yet. Jodie will definitely be mentioned, don't you worry. This chapter is all Alex-hope you enjoy.

**Raydiant:** Thanks and here's the next chapter.

* * *

"Joey, you're going to be late!" yelled Alex. "If you're late, then I'm going to be late! Again." Alex muttered the last part as she looked at her youngest son. "It's a shame we all can't be a morning person like you Kyle."

The younger boy looked up at his mom and gave him a smile before continuing his task. He was sitting at the kitchen table coloring. Unlike his mom and brother, Kyle was all ready, had been for a while now. He was used to waiting for the other two. He didn't mind it really. It gave him time to color or catch a quick cartoon, two of his favorite pastimes.

Alex waited a few more minutes. Ten minutes later, her oldest son still wasn't ready. "Joey!"

"I can't find my other shoe!" complained Joey.

Alex, who was previously standing, sat next to Kyle and started to bang her head on the table. "Thank god it's Friday," she whispered to herself. She looked at Kyle. "You wouldn't happen to know where your brother's other shoe is, do you?" Without looking up, Kyle shook his head. "Didn't think so. Why don't you just wear a different pair Joe?"

"I want to wear _this_ pair!"

_Of course._ Alex looked up at the ceiling, exasperated. "Joey, we don't have time! Just find another-"

"Found it!" Soon after, the young brunette was rushing down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Mom! Why are you just sitting there? We're going to be late."

Alex stared at her son. _He's just a seven year old. He's just a seven year old._ Alex repeated this a couple more times in her mind before she spoke. "We're going to be late because _someone_ was taking forever." Alex glanced down at her son shoes. "You're wearing _those_. Joe, they are like a million years old. I bought you a new pair a couple of weeks ago. Why didn't you wear those?"

Joey shrugged his shoulders. "I like these."

Alex gave the boy a defeated smile. "You're lucky I love you, kid. Grab a cereal bar or something. You're going to have to eat on the way."

"I'm not hungry," Joey said as he put on his backpack.

Alex closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. _You love him. You really do._ "Can you at least drink some juice or something?" Alex saw her son getting ready to protest again. "Please? For me?"

Joey let out a dramatic sigh. "Okay."

"Thank you." Alex quickly poured some orange juice in a glass for her oldest son and handed it to him. "Kyle, sweetie we're-" Alex turned to look at the table, but the boy wasn't there. She quickly scanned the room and found that he was already by the door, with his backpack on and waiting. This caused Alex to smile. "Let's go Joe." The two of them made their way to the door. Alex ruffled Kyle's hair. "I hope we didn't make you wait long," teased Alex.

"It's okay," Kyle said as he smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm used to it." With that, he made his way to the car.

Alex laughed at her son's answer as she locked the door. She too made her way to the car, happy that they were _finally_ on their way."

--

Alex burst into her office about 45 minutes late. They boys' school was only about 10-15 minutes away, but there was some kind of accident on the way to work. That in turn, made Alex even more late. She hated that she was late, but she was glad that she at least got the boys to school on time. "Hey Jenny, have the-" Alex stopped and sucked in a breath. She had started running since she got out of the car and didn't stop until she reached the inside of her office.

"Here." One of the receptionists, Jenny, handed Alex her lab coat and a cup of coffee. Alex gave her a grateful smile. On the days that the brunette was running late, Jenny was always ready with her lab coat and coffee ready in hand. Sometimes the woman meet the doctor at the entrance of the building. "The Robinsons were late themselves so no, they haven't been waiting that long." Alex let out a sigh of relief as Jenny handed her a folder. "They're in room 2." The receptionist made her way towards the door. She opened it, but before she walked out she turned around and said, "Oh, by the way, good morning Alex."

Alex smiled. "Good morning Jenny and thanks." Jenny nodded and turned around and left. Alex took a huge gulp of her coffee and then made her way to see her patient.

--

It was quarter til two, and Alex was beat. She pretty much had appointments back to back, not to mention a few walk-ins. With kids, it was always something-fevers, broken limbs, an infection of sorts, a tummy ache, poison ivy, check up shots-the list was endless. Even if it was nothing, overprotective parents tend to make it into a something. Alex loved kids. However, the parents she could do without sometimes.

The brunette doctor fell into her chair and attempted to relax a few more minutes before she picked up her kids. Her eyes caught sight of her coffee mug on her desk. It was the same one from this morning. With the exception of the that one gulp she took, it was untouched. Alex was tempted to drink it regardless. The woman was starving. She was about to reach it when she heard a knock on her door. She let out a groan before she called out, "Come in."

The door opened and there stood a fellow doctor. "What's up doc?"

Alex rolled her eyes at man's lame Bugs Bunny impression. "Hey James."

"You know," said the other doctor, "it wouldn't hurt you to humor me once in a while."

Alex looked at James as he flashed her one of his killer smiles. Dr. James Fuller was a handsome man, not to mention sexy. Alex couldn't deny that she was a little attracted to him, but who wouldn't be? At 6'4", the sexy tall doctor had gorgeous chocolate eyes, dimples to die for that only accented his smile, an athletic build, and silky brown hair. He reminded Alex of the guys you'd always see on the cover of those raunchy romance novels, hard-looking and all man. However, with kids, all the "manliness" was gone. It was replaced with a gentleness that had a knack for producing wide smiles and capturing their hearts, and probably their mom's as well. Yes, Alex was a little attracted to him, but it was harmless. They were friends and nothing more.

"It's more fun if I don't go along," replied Alex.

"Yeah, yeah. You ready to go?"

Alex looked at her watch. It was a little before two. "More than ready. Let's go." James and Alex almost always took their lunch together. The official lunch hour was from 1PM-2PM. Everyone took theirs then, but Alex didn't take hers until two because the world didn't live on a schedule. Sometimes people needed to see a doctor between those hours. So Alex stayed behind just in case. It worked out too because her kids got out of school at two. That way, she could pick them up and she could have her lunch while they had an after school snack. When James came on board, he decided to do the same. For a while, the other doctors entertained the idea that the two of them were seeing each other secretly. However, those thoughts were soon put to rest. Alex grabbed her purse and left to get her boys with James in tow.

"My car or yours?" asked James as they reached the parking lot.

"Yours," answered Alex. "The boys like your car more. Apparently, it's a boy's car. Let me just grab Kyle's booster seat."

"Okay," James said. "I'm going to start the car and get it nice and cool. I'll be waiting for you. Don't make wait long."

"Oh please, you'd wait forever for me," teased Alex. She made her way to her car. She grabbed the booster seat and when she turned around, something caught her eye. Actually it was someone, two someone's to be exact. Alex wasn't able to see her face since she pretty much turned the other way the same time Alex turned around, but still. Alex couldn't help the sense of familiarity that washed through her. She watched as the girl made her way towards a guy, who was also looking the other way. The two just stood there side by side. Alex looked at their backsides and tried to discern why they seemed so familiar. Alex was shaken from her thoughts by sound of a loud honk.

"Hurry up Alex!" yelled James. "Don't think I won't leave you. I like your kids more than I like you anyway." Alex rolled her eyes as she jogged to James's car. As Alex put down the booster seat and put on her seat belt, James noticed the brunette looked a bit distracted. "Hey-are you okay?"

Alex looked at James with a slightly confused look. "Yeah. I just…you know what? It doesn't matter. "Let's get going." As they drove off, Alex tried to get a better glimpse of the couple, but all she could see was still just their backside.


	8. Panic Attacks

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for all the reviews. Sorry about the cliffhanger. I don't mean to tease. It just turns out that way sometimes. Not much here. It's their almost meeting in Seth's and Marissa's POV. There's a possibility of a malex encounter in the next chapter. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Marissa," began Seth, "I admit this building is pretty aesthetically pleasing. The colors are just gorgeous, and I'm sure Ryan could tell you all kinds of fascinating things about it from an architect's point of view. However, I feel that it's in your best interest to tell you that I'm slightly claustrophobic, and if we sit in this car any longer, I might just go crazy and kill you. Yep. I just might."

Marissa gave Seth an apologetic look. The two arrived at Alex's work about an hour and a half ago, and they still have yet to get out of the car. "Sorry Seth. I'm just scared."

"Trust me," Seth said, "I gathered that from last night…and this morning."

Marissa gave him a sheepish smile. After they checked in last night, Marissa was starting to have a panic attack. She kept going through all the worse case scenarios. It took Seth a good while to calm her down. Seth woke up this morning to sounds of Marissa panicking again. It was a mini panic, but it still worried Seth. He kept reassuring her that everything would be fun, but deep down inside, he wasn't so sure. He hoped it would be. For Marissa's sake, he prayed it would be.

"Sorry about that too. I think everything's really started to sink in. It's been eight years, Seth. Eight years! So much has changed. What if she hates me? Not that I'd blame her. I mean, she's had all these years to reflect on how shitty I treated her. She probably doesn't even want to see me. I wouldn't want to see me! God, I'm so stupid. Of course she doesn't want to see me. This was a mistake." Marissa fumbled with her keys. "I'm so sorry I dragged you into this. Let's just go home and forget this ever happened."

Marissa was about to start her engine, but Seth's hand stopped her. "Hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute. Take a breath and calm down." Marissa did as she was told.

"Better?" Marissa nodded. "Good. Listen, yes it's been eight years. Yes, a lot has probably changed, but change isn't always bad. Hell, it was great for you…and I mean that in the nicest way. Okay, maybe she does hate you, but you need to at least try. You need to tell her why you acted the way you did. You owe her at least that much. She may hate you, but maybe there's a part of her that's still wondering that. Even worse, what if she's been blaming herself all these years? Do you really want Alex to go on living believing such a lie? Could _you_ live with that?"

Marissa shook her head. "No."

"Great! Now, get your ass out of this car cause we're going to run out of air soon, and I'm too young and pretty to die."

Marissa laughed at her friend's dramatic words. Still, Seth was able to return her courage…again. "Okay, lets do it! However, let me open your door for you. Give you the royal treatment…sorta.

"That would be nice." Marissa chuckled and got out of her car. She made her way to Seth's door and opened it for him. She even curtsied as she held it open.

Seth got out and gave Marissa's action a curt nod. He took in a deep breath. "Thank god! Oh fresh air, I've missed you!" Seth took in another breath. "Marissa, doesn't the air-"

Seth's words were cut off as Marissa pushed him back into the car. Marissa went in right on top of him. "Marissa, what are you-"

Marissa covered Seth's mouth with her hand. "Shhh! There she is." Seth looked in the direction Marissa was looking at and said something. However, with her hand still on top of his mouth, Marissa didn't understand a word he said. "What?"

Seth removed her hand from his mouth. "I said, that that's not Alex. That's some brunette with another brunette."

Marissa adjusted herself atop of Seth so that she was more comfortable. "Yeah, Alex's a brunette now."

"And you didn't think to mention this?"

"What difference does it make?"

"Oh, I don't know. Hair color change is pretty vital information." Marissa just shrugged her shoulders. Seth rolled his eyes. "How do you know that's her anyway?"

"I know," Marissa answered simply. "I'll always know."

Seth was about to respond when the position that they were in finally registered. Without realizing it, Marissa was straddling him. "Well! I can honestly say that I never thought we'd be in _this_ position. Wanna make out? Steam up the windows?"

Marissa took in their position, but didn't bother to correct them. Instead she gave Seth a slap on the shoulder and an annoyed look. Seth just shrugged his shoulder. Marissa looked back at Alex.

"Who's that guy with her?"

"I don't know, but he's kind of hot." Marissa gave Seth a look. "What? He is." Marissa had to admit that he was. She didn't like that fact. She definitely didn't like the fact the he was in Alex's company.

"Look," said Seth. "They're splitting up. Now's your chance."

Marissa felt her nerves come back. "I don't know. What if-"

"Oh for god's sake woman!" interrupted Seth as he all but threw Marissa out of the car. He got out afterwards and closed the car door. "Enough with the 'what if's'. Just go up to her!"

"Right! Okay, I'm going!" Marissa started to move towards Alex.

"You go girl!"

Marissa turned to look at Seth. She gave him an incredulous look before she continued her walk towards Alex. When the only thing that was separating them was a row of cars, Marissa stopped. She watched as Alex ducked inside her car to get something. As she was struggling with her task, Marissa was mentally preparing herself for the confrontation. She was thinking of a good opening line when she saw that Alex had obtained what she looking for. It was a booster seat. _Interesting. Well, she does have kids. _Marissa ran a hand through her hair to try and calm her nerves. Then, she saw that Alex was getting ready to turn her way. Marissa prepared herself for when their eyes would meet. However, at the last minute, Marissa turned around, and not a second too soon.

Seth, having seen the whole thing, did the same as he saw Alex's eye wandering in his direction. About a minute later, he heard footsteps approaching. They stopped right beside him. He didn't have to look to see who it was.

"What was that?" he whispered a little too harshly.

"I panicked."

"Obviously. You were so close Marissa."

"I know," Marissa replied, defeated. Then, they both jumped at the sound of a horn beeping. It was followed by a man's voice telling Alex to hurry up. Then, they heard the car approaching.

"I think it's coming this way," whispered Marissa. "We can't let them see us. We can't let Alex see us, see me."

"It's okay. We'll just subtly turn as it get closer. You want to maybe make out to throw them off track?"

"Seth!"

"I'll take that as a no." The two were able to avoid being seen by Alex. When they car drove out of the parking lot, they pair let out a breath.

"Marissa…"

"I know, I know. "I'm sorry. I was just-"

"Scared. I know."

"Now what?" wondered Marissa.

"I guess we wait. Can we at least get something to eat? I'm starving." Seth saw a look of panic wash over Marissa's face. "Don't worry. We can grab something from a nearby fast food joint and come back here to eat it. We should probably move the location of the car anyway."

"Thanks Seth. For everything."

"You won't be thanking me when my claustrophobia takes full control."


	9. Following, Not Stalking

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**  
Thanks for all the reviews! Again, not too much here, but the moment you've been waiting for is coming soon.**

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"You do realize that we are stalking her, right?"

Marissa turned to look at Seth. "What are you talking about? We're not stalking her."

"You're right," Seth nodded in agreement. "_We're_ not, but you are. I'm a hostage in all this. You've taken a page from Taylor's book and you're stalking Alex. Somehow I don't think that's the best way to win Taylor over. Flattery is crucial, yes, but this not the best kind."

"I am not stalking her," Marissa insisted. "I'm just…following her."

"Oh, cause that makes all the difference." Marissa rolled her eyes at Seth's sarcasm. She wasn't stalking her ex. She really wasn't. It's just that when Alex returned, she had her kids with her. Marissa couldn't confront the brunette with her kids in tow. What if they took an instant disliking towards her? She couldn't have that against her too. Plus, she still didn't know who this mystery guy was. He could be another doctor, but he wasn't wearing a lab coat. However, neither was Alex. What if he was her boyfriend? Fiancé? Husband? From the way he was interacting with kids, he could definitely be their father. Marissa had let out a sigh as she looked at Seth. Luckily, he had fallen asleep after he finished his lunch. The lanky brunette was sure she'd hear it from him otherwise. Marissa, herself, only had water for lunch. She wasn't hungry. Plus, with the way her nerves were, she probably wouldn't have been able to keep anything down.

So Marissa continued to just sit there, still waiting for the perfect time. Still trying to gather up her courage. She should've probably gone back to the hotel, label this mission a complete failure, and just give up. However, she couldn't. Marissa couldn't bring herself to leave. She couldn't leave Alex. Facing the doctor would be hard, but leaving her was harder. So Marissa sat in her car going over possible scenarios until she saw Alex reemerging with her kids. She checked the time. She was surprised to find that it was a little past five. She supposed that it was closing time. This caused Marissa to panic some more. She still hadn't spoken with Alex. Her only comfort was that Alex was alone. That other doctor wasn't leaving with her. That took care of the husband theory. _Then again, he's probably just working late. _Then, a thought crossed Marissa;'s mind. Tomorrow was Saturday. More than likely, they weren't going to be open. What was she going to do? This was pretty much Marissa's only chance. It was now or never, and yet the brunette found she couldn't move. The image of Alex slamming the door in her face, and telling Marissa that she never wanted to see her again kept replaying in the brunette's mind. She wasn't sure if she could survive the rejection.

The sound of a car starting brought Marissa out of her thoughts. She looked and saw Alex pulling out of the parking lot. Without thinking, Marissa started her car and followed the doctor. She wasn't ready to let Alex out of her sights yet. She wasn't ready to let go.

So that's how Seth and Marissa found themselves parked a couple houses across from Alex's house. It was a beautiful house. It wasn't huge, but it was pretty big. It had a huge front yard, and Marissa imagined that the backyard was just as huge. _It suits her._

"Marissa," began Seth. "I'm really trying to be sensitive of your feelings here, but it's nearing seven and we're _still_ very much in your car. If you're not going to talk to her tonight, then can we at least go back to the hotel? Better yet, we can check out the city." Seth waited but got no response. "Marissa?" Seth was awoken about an hour ago from the sound of Marissa's phone ringing. It was Summer calling to see how things were. The conversation was pretty brief so Seth tried to go back to sleep. However, Marissa's phone rang again. This time it was Ryan. Their conversation wasn't too long either, but it caused Seth to give up on trying to go back to sleep. He was surprised to find them in a neighborhood instead of a parking lot. It was darker. Hours had obviously passed and they were _still_ in Marissa's car. Seth really thought he was going to die in her car.

Marissa continued to just look at Alex's house. "I'm a fucking coward Seth. I was one back then, and I was stupid to think I wasn't one anymore." She turned to look at Seth. A tear had fallen down her cheek, causing Seth to regret saying anything. "I can't even bring myself to do it for her. There's so much she needs to know, deserves to know. Instead of just sucking it up and go talk to her, I've sat in this damn car all day. I try to build it up-the courage. However, when it comes right down to it-I fail. I just can't do it. It's pathetic. I'm pathetic and selfish. I'm a pathetic, selfish coward." Marissa was crying a little more freely now.

Seth went to take Marissa in his arms and tried to comfort her. "Hey, it's okay. What you said isn't true."

"Yes it is," Marissa sniffed.

"No it's not," assured Seth as he rubbed the brunette's back. "You're scared, which is completely normal. It's okay to be scared. It doesn't make you a coward though. You're not selfish either. Nor are you pathetic. You're probably just not ready. We can come back and try again at a different time. It'll be easier, since we know now where she works _and_ lives."

Marissa let out a little laugh as she let Seth comfort her. She was so grateful that he was here. No one else would have enough patience to deal with all this. They'd try, of course, but they wouldn't be able to succeed as much as Seth has.

"I guess you're right," Marissa agreed. "Perhaps this visit was a little premature. I just…I just couldn't help myself, you know? I mean, it's Alex! I just couldn't stay put."

"I understand," assured Seth.

"Let's head back and enjoy the rest of our stay." Seth was all too eager to agree. Just as Marissa was about to start her car, a movement caught her eye. She looked and saw someone walking onto Alex's driveway. Marissa couldn't really see the person, but she could tell it was a woman. She watched as the woman made her to the door. A few seconds later, the front door opened and there stood Alex. The woman made her way inside, but the door remained open. She just stood there as Alex came in and out of vision. Finally, the door was shut and Alex was making her way towards her car. Marissa turned to look at Seth with a questioning gaze.

Seth shrugged his shoulders. "I'm guessing that was a sitter. Maybe she's got a hot date. It _is_ Friday night." Seth saw Marissa's disappointed face. "Or you know…maybe not."

The pair returned their gaze to Alex and watched as she made her way out of the driveway. Seth knew that he might potentially be regretting his next words, but it just had to do it. "Go on." Marissa looked at him curiously. "Stalk, I mean, _follow_ her."

"Are you sure?" Marissa asked, already starting the ignition.

"No, but you have to promise me one thing."

"Name it."

"Wherever she takes us, we get out. We don't have to approach her, but we get out and stretch our legs and whatnot. Breath some fresh air. _Air_ air. Not car air. Deal?"

"Deal."

The two had followed the brunette doctor to a bar. By the looks of the crowded parking lot, it was a very popular bar.

"A bar?" questioned Marissa. She slumped back into her seat. "I'm not sure if I want to know why she's there." Marissa was thinking that Alex was meeting someone for a drink, if not more. _Maybe she really is on a date._

"Let's check it out," suggested Seth.

"Are you insane?!"

"Easy there," commented Seth. "The place is obviously packed so she probably won't be able to see us. We'll go into super spy mode. I can be pretty stealth, you know. We'll just go in there and have a look around. We'll see what's up."

Marissa thought about it for a few minutes. "Okay."

"Really?" Seth didn't expect Marissa to give in so easily. He didn't expect Marissa to give in at all. Marissa nodded. "Sweet! Let's go!"

Just as Seth had said, the place was pretty crowded. There were people everywhere, but no sign of a certain brunette.

"Do you see her?"

"No," answered Marissa. She kept scanning the crowd until she felt Seth tugging on her arm. She gave Seth her attention and saw him pointing in a direction.

Marissa followed his direction. Her eyes instantly locked on to Alex. She was at the bar. Working.

"I don't get it," wondered Seth. "She's a doctor. She's got the money, the house, the car-well, not so much the car. Why is she still bartending?"

"She loves it," Marissa answered simply. "She loves everything about it."

They had just been standing there watching Alex when Marissa said, "Let's go back to the hotel."

"You sure?"

Marissa nodded. "You were right. I want to do this, but not now. I'm not ready yet." And she wasn't. However, that wasn't what was keeping her back. As Marissa stood there watching Alex doing something she loved, she noticed how happy Alex was. Marissa then thought back to the time when they were together. Alex was once happy then, until Marissa took that away from her. Could she really do that again? Could she really be that selfish? She didn't know Alex's story, but Marissa had no doubt that Alex worked very hard to get to where she's at. What if a visit from her past took all that away from Alex? Marissa still very much wanted to see Alex, to really see her. Talk to her and everything, but she needed time to figure out whether or not that would be best for Alex. Marissa didn't want to rob her kids of their mother's smile.

"Okay."

Marissa winced inwardly at Seth's words. She was truly grateful that he was so understanding, but a part of her wished he'd scream at her, lash out at her for wasting his time. At least then, she wouldn't feel as guilty. Then again, Marissa was sure that she more than deserved to feel guilty. "I'm sorry-"

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm just glad I can be here for you." Marissa gave Seth an appreciative smile as they headed back to the car.

A couple of hours later, Marissa and Seth were both in their shared hotel room sleeping in their respective beds. At least, Marissa was. Sleep didn't come easy for the girl. She kept replaying the everything in her mind. She happy that she finally got to see Alex again. She was sad and upset that she never worked up the courage to talk to her. She was mad at herself for being such a coward. She felt incredibly guilty for dragging Seth into all this. The list just went on and on. Eventually, all her emotions drained her, and she drifted off to sleep.

Seth laid there listening to the sound of Marissa's breathing. At some point, he had come up with a plan, but he needed Marissa to be asleep before he could execute it. "Marissa?" he called out softly, but loud enough to be heard. He waited. No answer. He tried a few more times, and still got no answer. Satisfied that she was asleep, Seth quietly got out of bed. He changed out of his sleeping clothes, wrote Marissa a note informing her that he'd gone out for air should she wake, and quietly left the room. Once he reached outside, he hailed a taxi.

"Where to?" asked the taxi driver as Seth got it in.

"O'Reilly's Bar, please."


	10. A Great Unexpected

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Also, Memorex Suites is completely made up. I was just trying to think of a name and I glanced at my blank CDs and that was the brand name. Don't own that either.**

**Thanks for all the reviews! I apologize for taking so long to update. caesaraugusta-you didn't scare me off. I've just been away. I appreciate the comment, and I'm glad you're enjoying the stories. So I'm going to go ahead and post the next two chapters, separately. Just to warn you, it sucks. Trust me, I know. I just need them done and over with so I can get to the where I explain everything. I feel I've dragged it out too long as it is. So here they are! I've read it over, but it's late so I might have missed a few mistakes.  
**

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"Alex, go take your break!"

The brunette finished the drink she was working on and gave it to the customer before facing her friend. "Max-"

"Don't 'Max' me," the bartender interrupted. "You were supposed to take your break over an hour ago."

"We were busy-"

"And now we're not. Well, not as busy." Max went over and slightly dragged Alex with him as he headed for the back door. He grabbed a mug on his way out.

"Max, I leave in like an hour," protested Alex.

"Well, this break will help pass the time," Max said as he held the back door open for Alex. She didn't move. "Look, I'm not going to let you help out anymore if you don't go out this door. I've already got your coffee for you. In fact, I should be sending you home since you came in last Sunday."

"You wouldn't dare," challenged Alex teasingly. "You love me too much."

"I love your kids more," countered Max.

Alex let out a dramatic sigh. She knew her friend wouldn't make good on his threats, but she gave in anyway. She met the blonde bartender back in college. She was pre-med and he was a business major. She hadn't bartend in a while and she missed it. When Max told her that his dad owned a bar, she all but made him hire her. She worked as much as she could. When her course load increased, she had to cut back some, but she never gave it up completely. Even now, with her own career in place, she still made time for it.

"Fine." Alex took her coffee and went outside. Before Max had a chance to close the door, Alex turned around. "But I'm not taking a full break. Just enough time to drink my coffee."

"Always gotta have the last word huh?" questioned Max.

"Yep." Max shook his head and closed the door. Alex began drinking her coffee as she made her way to her car. While she was doing so, she heard a voice.

"It's about damn time!" Alex chocked on her coffee at the sound of the voice. "Oh shit! You okay Al?"

It took the brunette a minute to stop coughing. When she did, she finally saw the voice's owner. "Seth? Is that you?"

"One and only," replied Seth.

Alex stood there looking at Seth. She couldn't believe her eyes. Then, her reaction finally kicked in. "Oh my gosh!" she said as she took him in for a hug, dropping her coffee. "I can't believe it's you Seth. How have you been? What are you doing in LA? What are you doing here?"

"Whoa there," Seth said laughing lightly as he returned the hug. "Slow down with the questions."

Alex chuckled. "Sorry, this is just so unexpected."

"A good unexpected right?"

"A great unexpected," confirmed Alex. "Come on. Come join me on my car's hood." The two went and sat on top of Alex's car. "So...what are you doing here?"

"I'm helping out a friend," Seth replied vaguely. Before Alex could say anything, Seth attacked her with a question. "So could you have taken any longer to take a break? Who do you think you are, royalty or something?"

Alex rolled her eyes at Seth's comments. "We're kind of busy. I guess the packed parking lot didn't give that away. Wait-how long have you been here?"

"A couple of hours."

"Why didn't you come inside?"

"Like you said, it's packed. Claustrophobia does not look good on me. Besides, I wanted to take in the air. I seem to be lacking it lately. I like air."

Alex gave him a confused look. "You like air?"

"Yep."

"You want to take in LA air?" Seth nodded and sucked in a huge breath to illustrate his point. "Okay. Whatever you say, Seth. You should've at least told me you were here. I would've taken my break earlier." Alex paused as a thought came into mind. "How did you know I worked here?"

"I didn't. I was in here earlier with that friend I was telling you about. I saw you, but my friend was with me so I figured I'd come back later." A sadden look crossed over Seth's face.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Imagine how much my heart was breaking when I realized you're a brunette now. I didn't even recognize you at first. Why Alex? Why?" Seth started sobbing playfully.

Alex gave her friend a playful push. "And I thought something was really wrong."

"Who says it isn't? One of the perks of being your friend was being able to say that I know a hot _blonde_. A hot blonde bartender. Add the fact that you are also my ex, and I was the man. Now, you're a brunette. How could you, Al? What did the blonde ever do to you?"

"Oh come on, I don't look that bad. I happen to think being a brunette suits me." Alex lifted her chin in smug defiance.

"I didn't say it looked bad," corrected Seth. "A hot blonde just sounds sexier."

"Don't let my son hear you say that."

"Son?" Seth lifted his eyebrow, feigning surprise.

"Mm-hmm."

Seth waited for Alex to elaborate, but she didn't. "So you're married? Engaged?"

"No to both."

"So...?"

"I'll explain later. You know, as I recall, you were quite in love with a certain brunette back then," teases Alex.

A genuine sadness washed over Seth. "A lot has changed since then."

Alex noticed the change in her friend's demeanor. "You and Summer aren't together?" Seth shook his head. "Wow. I always figured you guys would be married with kids by now."

"Me too," Seth said quietly.

Alex put an arm around Seth and gave him a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry, Seth."

Seth shrugged his shoulders. "What's done is done. Actually, the friend I'm here with happens to be a _special_ friend of mines." It wasn't a complete lie. He did consider Marissa and her friendship to be quite special.

"Really?"

"Yep. In fact, you should meet her. We can do lunch tomorrow." Seth looked at his watch. "Well, technically it's today. You can bring your son."

"Sons," corrected Alex. "That sounds good. How long are you in LA for?"

"Just the weekend."

"Well, then we will definitely have lunch tomorrow. Where are you staying?"

"Memorex Suites."

Alex let out a whistle. "Fancy. Then again, you _are_ from Newport."

"Coincidence, I assure you."

"Uh-huh," replied Alex sarcastically. "Forgive me if I don't believe you. I tell you what. I have to get back to work, but let me give you my number." Alex jotted her number on Seth's hand. "We'll pick you up around noon. Maybe sight see a little. Do a little shopping...give me a chance to feel out this special lady of yours...Sound good?"

"Yep. You want my number too?"

"Yeah, that might prove useful." Seth wrote down his number on her hand as well. "Great. I'll call if we're running late, which we probably will be." Alex hopped off her hood, followed by Seth. "I really gotta go now. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" Seth nodded. Alex gave him a hug and a peck on his cheek. "It really is great seeing you." Alex gave him one more hug before she quickly made her way back to work.

Seth watched as Alex left. Seeing Alex again made him realized just how much he had missed her. So many things went wrong when Alex left. He didn't expect her reemergence to fix things. It wasn't her responsibility, but he hoped it would. Even if everything stayed the same, he'd at least have Alex's friendship again. He now hopes more than ever that things would be okay between her and Marissa. He also hopes that Marissa doesn't kill him when he tells her of their lunch plans.

--

"You did what?!"

Seth cringed at the sound of Marissa's shrieking voice. "Oh you know, I...uh...invited Alex for lunch...?" Seth gave the lanky girl the best hopeful smile he could muster.

"Why would you do that, Seth? I can't believe you did that! What were you thinking?!" It wasn't that Marissa was mad. She was just caught off guard. Deep down she was actually grateful towards Seth. He was able to do what she apparently couldn't. He initiated contact. He talked to her. He was with her, in her presence, _not_ in a car just watching.

Seth knew the girl's reaction was just a result of being scared so he didn't take it personally. Besides, he did do it pretty sneakily. He'd be lying to himself if that thought didn't make him the tiniest bit proud. Well, maybe a lot proud.

"It's going to be okay, Marissa."

Seth's reassuring words were wasted on Marissa. "It's not going to be okay. She agreed to see you, _not_ me. Once she sees me, she'll bolt. She'll run out that door. No, first she'll tell me how much she hates me, then she'll run out the door." Marissa felt her breath quickening, and she started pacing the room. "Oh shit, she's coming here. _Here!_ She's gonna come...we're gonna...and her kids..."

Not wanting to have Marissa go through another panic attack, Seth quickly made his way towards her. He took the brunette into a hug and started rubbing her back as he tried to soothe her. "Hey now, it's going to be okay. Take some deep breaths." Seth waited for Marissa to do so before he continued. "Alex realizing that she's meeting you is definitely going to be something, but you know-it could be a good something. She's a mom now. You of all people should know that even a tiny little baby can be quite life altering. Will brought about a change in you, a good change. Who's to say that Alex's kids haven't done the same for her? She may still have some ill feelings towards you, but perhaps they've lessened a bit. I'm sure her sons keep her busy. She doesn't have time holding onto grudges. At least, I hope not."

"Me too," Marissa added quietly as she took in one final deep breath.

Seth pulled back just enough so that he could see Marissa. "I know that it was probably inconsiderate of me to go and see Alex and just invite her along without letting you know. I just..." Seth ran a hand through his hair as his gaze dropped. "Like I said, I wanted to respect your feelings and everything you're going through at the moment. But it's like you said, she was my friend too, and I couldn't..."

"You don't have to explain yourself," assured Marissa. "You had every right to what you did. I'm sorry I freaked out on you. Forgive me?"

Seth met the brunette's eyes with a smile and nodded. "So we have a few hours to kill. Anything I can do to help relieve you of any stress?"

Marissa chuckled. "I wish. However, I do need to call Ryan Check up on Will."

"Want some privacy?"

"If you don't mind." Seth shook his head and let go of Marissa. As he turned around he felt her hand on his arm. "Don't stray too far, okay?"

"I won't," replied Seth. "Oh, don't forget to call Summer. She'll kill you if you leave her out of the loop. Can't have that happen, _especially_ now." Marissa silently agreed.


	11. Death Grip

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Here's second chapter for today. Again, I've read it, but there might still be mistakes.**

* * *

Alex got off the elevator on Seth's floor with her sons in tow. She was feeling proud of herself. She was only 10 minutes late. "So we're looking for room 1821. Special prize for whoever finds it first." Immediately her two sons took off in search for the right room.

"Found it!"

Alex walked quickly to catch up with her sons. "Good job, Joe." Joey had a triumphant smile on his face, whereas Kyle looked as if his puppy died. "Chin up, Kyle. You'll get him next time. Besides, you're still the first one to be ready in the mornings. Joey hasn't beaten you yet...nor have I." This instantly brought a smile to the younger boy's face.

"Helloooooo!" Joey said.

Alex turned to face her other son. "Yesssss?"

The older son held out his hand. "Where's my prize?"

Alex playfully shook her head. She started looking through her purse as she bent down to Joey's level. "Let's see here..." With each passing second, Joey's excitement grew. "Aha! Here it is!"

"What is it mom? What is it?" The older boy was barely able to hold in his excitement. As he was waiting for his mom to reveal his prize, Alex quickly pulled him into a tight embrace and planted a long kiss on his cheek. "Ewww!" Joey started wiping his cheek when he was finally set free. "Mom! That wasn't a prize!"

Alex couldn't help but find her son's pout adorable. "It wasn't? What was it then?"

"Gross!" exclaimed Joey.

"Gross?" Alex pretended to be hurt. "Are you saying that you didn't like it?" Joey gave her a 'duh' look. "Well! Kyle would've liked it." Joey just continued to give her a disgusted look. "Alright, it's time to get this show on the road." Alex stood up and was about to knock before she stopped and turned to face her boys. "What are the rules?"

"To behave and be nice," volunteered Kyle.

"That's right,' confirmed Alex. "You guys want to help me knock?" Both boys nodded. "On the count of three. One. Two. Three!" All three of them started knocking on the door. They didn't stop until it was opened by Seth.

"Whoa there!" Seth said. "I thought there was a herd at the door." Alex gave him a cheesy smile. "Well, come on in."

"Sorry, we're late," apologized Alex as they made their way into the hotel room. "I would've called, but I figured we'd be here soon enough. Then, I got a little scolding from my lovely son here. It's his fault really. We would've only been 10 minutes, but he just had to say his piece."

Seth chuckled. "I suppose I can let it slide this time. I can't guarantee the next time though."

"You hear that Joe? You got lucky this time." As Alex continued to tease her son, Joey tried to mimic her arched eyebrow. This caused Alex to laugh a little, as it always did. "Okay enough of my lame humor. Seth, I'd like you to meet my two sons Joey and Kyle. Boys this is Mr. Seth Cohen."

"Hi Mr. Cohen," both boys said in unison.

Seth made a gross face. "Please call me Seth. I'm too young to be a 'Mr.' Besides we're all friends here. In fact, your mom and I used to date."

"Ugh, don't remind me," teased Alex. "See boys, I told you I wasn't always smart."

"Well, you're just full of all kinds of funny today Al."

"As I should be. It's going to be a great day! So I was thinking maybe we could go to the beach. Do a little swimming before lunch? I wasn't sure if you guys brought swimming gear or not, so I brought an extra swimsuit for your lady friend. I mean, I don't know how she'll feel about wearing it, but I assure you it's clean."

"None for me?" moped Seth.

"You're a guy. Just throw on some kind of shorts and dive in. Simple as." Alex looked around the room. "Exactly where is this special friend of yours anyway?"

"Bathroom," replied Seth. "She's a little nervous about seeing you."

"Really? There's no need to be."

Seth laughed nervously. "Oh, you might disagree."

Alex arched her eyebrow. "Why might that be?"

"You'll see. I'm actually going to go check on her real quick. Be back soon." Seth all but ran towards the bathroom.

"So what do you guys think of him?" Alex asked her sons after Seth left.

"I like him," answered Kyle.

Alex smiled and ruffled his hair. "You like everybody, sweetie, and I'm glad that you do. What about you Joey?"

Joey had a peculiar look on his face. "He acts kind of funny."

"Yeah, he kind of does," agreed the brunette. "Believe it or not, it's part of his charm."

--

Marissa was sitting on top of the toilet when Seth abruptly came in. His unexpected arrival nearly caused her to fall off her seat. "Jesus Seth! You scared the life of out me!"

"Sorry. So...you coming out any time soon?" Marissa gave him a scared look. Seth held out his hand. "Come on. I'll be right there next to you the whole time. Just give my hand a squeeze when you feel your nerves are getting the best of you.

Marissa just wanted to stay in the bathroom until Alex left. However, Seth had already done so much for her. His coming along was more than enough. He also had put up with her wishy washy behavior. He didn't get mad at her for backing down, for wasting his time. Instead, he was understanding. He even apologized for going to see Alex and setting up this outing so that she could also have the chance to see Alex, the chance that she had thrown away. She couldn't let Seth down again. She wouldn't. Marissa took his hand and got up. The minuted she had his hand, Marissa enclosed it in a death grip. Seth had to stop himself from whimpering. "If I stop walking, just drag me." When Seth opened the bathroom door, Marissa could hear the sound Alex and her children laughing. She'd forgotten how melodic Alex's laugh could be. Marissa met Seth's eyes. "Let's go."

Marissa walked slowly, but surely towards the living room area. With each step she took, her nerves increased. As her nerves increased, so did the pressure that she applied to Seth's hand. "You know," he whispered, "I know I said you could squeeze my hand and at all, but do you think you can take a more gradual approach? At this rate, my hand might not survive this walk."

"I'm sorry Seth, but I can't let go."

"Oh. Of course not." Seth felt another tightening squeeze from Marissa. "Well, can you at least pay for my hospital bill when I have to restore my hand, reset some bones? Cause you know, I kind of need both my hands."

"Sure." Marissa was only half paying attention. She was focusing more on not passing out. More importantly, not chickening out. Again.

Seth winced in pain as Marissa's death grip got a little tighter. "That's all I ask," he squeaked out.

When the pair reached the entrance to the living room, Alex and her sons were too lost in conversation to notice them at first.

"Mom?"

"Yes Joe?"

"Did you really date him?"

Alex nodded. "I sure did."

Joey looked amazed. "You mean, he was really your boyfriend?"

The brunette thought back to her relationship with Seth. She wasn't sure if he would qualify as a boyfriend, given that their relationship was rather short and not so serious.

As Alex was thinking about her answer, Seth's pain was temporarily replaced with a slight feeling of insult. "What's taking her so long to answer?" he whispered very quietly. "And what's with that Joey kid? Is it _so_ hard to believe that she dated me?" However, his complaints pretty much fell on deaf ears as Marissa was too busy focusing on Alex to really give Seth any attention.

"Mom, you're taking too long to answer," complained Joey.

"Sor-ry! Yes, he was my boyfriend."

"Damn straight!" Seth continued whispering.

Joey was now intrigued. "Why?"

Alex chuckled. She put her arm around both her sons. "I guess I just have a thing for guys with dark brown hair."

"What about girls with brown hair?"


	12. Uncomfortable

"What about girls with brown hair?" The question came out before Marissa could stop it. She let out a nervous laugh. Time seemed to slow down as Alex's head turned in the lanky brunette's direction, just like in the movies. Every nanosecond seemed to be a minute long. Marissa braced herself for Alex's reaction. She watched Alex's smile slowly disappear as a sense of recognition started to sink in. Marissa heard the little gasp that escaped Alex's lips. It was barely audible, to the point that maybe Marissa made it up, but she heard it. She tried get a read on Alex's emotions, but she was coming up empty. The two brunettes were rooted in their spot, just staring at each other.

Seth watched as the two women's eyes were locked with one another. He, too, couldn't get a good read on Alex. However, he knew that Marissa's nerves were on the verge of exploding. He knew this by Marissa's increased grip on his hand. He made a mental promise to his abused hand that if it survived, Seth would pamper it like there was no tomorrow.

Alex's sons, on the other hand, were beyond confused. One minute their mom was talking to them laughing, and now she was just standing there. The appearance of this other lady zapped their mom into a complete silence. The sight was foreign to them. At the rate the two ex-lovers were going, all of them could've been there all day. Luckily, patience wasn't a strong suit for either boys.

"Mom," whispered Kyle as he was tugging on his mom's shirt.

Kyle's incessant tugging eventually brought Alex out of her stupor. She shook her head as turned to look at her youngest son. "Yes, sweetie?"

"You're staring," the little boy continued to whisper, as if it were a big secret. "You said that we shouldn't stare. Don't you remember?"

Alex gave her son a smile. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Kyle shrugged his shoulders. "It's okay."

Alex returned her gaze to Marissa, to her ex. She suppose she should've seen it coming. First, Julie and then Seth. While Julie might've been a coincidence, she should've known that Seth wasn't. The doctor was just so excited to see her old friend that it didn't register. Still, nothing could've prepared her for this. She wasn't even sure how she was feeling, how she was _supposed_ to feel. Alex was definitely surprised, but what else? Should she be angry? Happy?

While she may be uncertain as to what she was feeling, Alex had no doubt what Marissa was feeling. Fear and nervousness radiated from the brunette by the ton. It was then that a small smile was featured on Alex's face. She had moved past what happened between her and Marissa. She closed that chapter long ago. While it's never easy seeing the person that hurt you again, Alex wanted to keep the past where it belonged-in the past. A part of Alex may never be able to forgive Marissa, but she had no ill feelings towards the girl now.

"I don't know. Your hair's not really a dark brown," teased Alex. "That is the kind I tend to fall for."

A sigh or relief could be heard from both Seth and Marissa. Hearing Alex make a joke at this time was definitely one of the sweetest sound either of them had heard.

Marissa laughed nervously. "Well, I suppose I could always dye it. It seemed to do wonders for you." The brunette meant every word. Seeing Alex this close, Marissa was able to fully take her in. The brown hair definitely suited her. It gave her an air of sophistication, with a little touch of exoticness. In short, Alex looked stunning. Then again, Marissa always thought she did.

Alex watched as Marissa smiled that infamous crooked smile of hers. Suddenly she pulled the girl in for a hug. "It's good to see you."

Initially, Marissa stiffened at the contact, but she was quick to loosen up when she realized that Alex was giving her a hug, She wasted no time in returning it. Hearing the doctor's words brought a huge smile to Marissa's face. "I'm glad you think so. I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it is to see you again." The two girls hugged for a few seconds longer before Alex broke the hug. Marissa missed it instantly, but she'd take what she could get from the other brunette.

"Uh…" began Alex. "Marissa, these are my boys, Kyle and Joey. Boys this is Mrs.-"

"Marissa's fine," interrupted the brunette before a wave of guilt washed over her. "I'm sorry. I should've have interrupted."

Alex smiled. "It's okay."

Another silence entered the room. Seth, who was glad to have his hand back, was starting to get bored. "So….we going to the beach or not? Cause you know, just standing here is fun and all, but…well, it's not actually."

Alex rolled her eyes at Seth's comment. "I'm ready if you guys are."

"I'm ready!" shouted both boys.

"So, as I was telling Seth, I brought an extra swim suit in case you had forgotten yours," Alex said. "I mean, I don't know if you'd even want to wear it. I just-"

"I'd love to," Marissa said a little too quickly. "I-I mean, that would be fine. We actually didn't pack any swim gear. At least, I didn't. So that works out perfectly."

"Great!" exclaimed Alex. "Why don't you go change and we'll meet you at the car. Sound good? Great! See you two down there."

Before anyone could say anything, Alex and her sons were out the door. Seth and Marissa stood there in silence.

"Well," said Seth breaking the silence, "at least she wasn't proclaiming her hate for you.

"Yea," whispered Marissa. "Not yet anyway."

"Are you okay mom?" asked Alex's oldest son. She only nodded in response. Alex didn't mean to rush out. She just felt the sudden need to leave. The brunette beauty had a lot to take in.

'Let's just go to the car okay?"

--

"He's pretty good," complimented Marissa. The two brunettes were sitting on the sand watching Joey and Seth surf. Well, Joey was surfing. Seth was getting a serious beat down from the waves. Kyle sat a little closer to the shoreline so that he'd have quicker access to the water for his sandcastle.

"Thanks," replied Alex. "Can't have a kid of mine not be able to surf."

"Of course not." The conversation died once again from there. This was how it was since they got to the beach. They'd share a couple of sentences but they'd fall silent afterwards. A good while later, the process would repeat itself. It made Marissa extremely uncomfortable, but at least Alex wasn't telling her to get lost.

They sat in silence until Seth came running up to them. He dropped the surfboard next to Alex.

"Hey! Be careful with that!" warned Alex. "That surfboard and I go way back."

"Sorry Al," apologized Seth as he sat on top of it. "You know, I think it's time you get a new one. I think it's become defected or something. Did you see all those falls? The board's improperly balanced or something."

"Riiiight," came Alex's reply. "It's the board's fault, not yours."

"Exactly!" exclaimed Seth. "Soooo, what have you ladies been up to?"

"Oh you, know just taking in the sun. A little chit chatting," answered Marissa. Also, there was a lot of observing on Marissa's part. It was hard to ignore just how amazing Alex looked in her bikini. Even after all these years, Alex still had a body to die for, and Marissa apparently was still very appreciative of it.

Seth sighed. He was starting to worry. The car ride to the beach was the most silent one he'd ever endured. He had hoped that leaving them alone would give them time to catch up, but they were barely speaking. By the aurora of nervousness radiating off of Marissa, Seth gathered things weren't progressing well at all. Still, at least they've talked some. Confident that they needed more time, Seth decided to let them be again. "That's sooo boring. I'm going to go play with Kyle. I can't beat Joey, but I so can kick Kyle's ass in building sandcastles."

"Seth's he's only four," Alex said as Seth got up.

"So what? A little competition is good." Seth placed his hands around his mouth. "Hey Kyle! Get ready for some hardcore castle building!" He looked back down at Alex. "Don't worry. I'll go easy on him."

"I'm not worried about that," the doctor said to herself as she watched her friend run towards her littlest boy. "He hasn't changed much, has he?"

Marissa turned to face Alex. "Actually, I haven't seen him this happy, this giddy, for years. I mean, he's been happy, but not like he used to be. He's lost something. Someone."

"Summer."

"Mmm-hmm."

"What happened between them?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. All she'll tell me is that she doesn't deserve him. He's tried like crazy to get rid of that nonsense notion, but Summer won't budge. One can only take so many rejections."

"He's given up?" That didn't sound like Seth at all.

"Not necessarily. He's just...he's hurting. Nothing he's done has worked and I think it's just starting to wear him down. He's even gone as far as being a real adult. You know, no more comics. He's even got a real job. He figured that if he was to show that he was mature, a real man, she'd take him back. It has yet to work. It's not the best feeling in the world, you know? That feeling of being inadequate, of never being enough in the eyes of the one you love."

"Yeah, I know," whispered Alex, but Marissa heard it. The sound of pain in her voice was enough to send a wave of guilt through the lanky girl. The two ladies sat there just staring at each other for a few minutes before Alex broke it. "So what is this real job that Seth has?"

"He works with me actually. Sorta. We both work for our mothers' magazine. I write for the fashion department, and he's in PR. He does a very good job actually. You know how he is-there's always some kind of idea in that head of his. Still, it's not his passion."

Alex felt her heart breaking for Seth. It was always clear to her how much Seth loved Summer all those years ago. She can only imagine how much that love has grown throughout the years. She also knew what it felt like to lose someone that you thought was the one. "Poor Seth."

"Yeah, but like I said, he's been more like his old self the past couple of days. It doesn't take a genius to know that it's because of you. He's so happy to see you again."

"Are you?" Alex wasn't sure where that question came from, but there it was. She watched Marissa as she waited for her answer. She wasn't sure which answer she wanted more.

Marissa was a little shocked by Alex's question. Not shocked because she'd ask it, but shocked because she had to ask it. "Of course. I...I've missed you. Eight years is a long time-a lifetime for some."

"Yes it is," agreed Alex. "So you're a writer?"

"Sorta. It's fashion, so it's not like it's award winning material."

"Hey, don't cut yourself short. There are people out there that take it pretty seriously," teased Alex. "They worship it like a bible."

Marissa laughed. "That is true. I may know a couple people like that." The brunette fell silent for a bit before she asked her next question. "They're Jodie's aren't they? The kids, I mean. Joey looks just like her, so I figured-"

"They're _mines_," snapped Alex.

Marissa didn't expect Alex to get so defensive. "Of course they are. I just meant biologically. I'm sorry, Alex. I didn't mean to imply they weren't-"

"No, I'm sorry," interrupted Alex. "I just…it's a sensitive subject. I…"

"You don't have to explain." Marissa could tell Alex was reliving some kind of bad memory. The last thing she wanted was to dredge up painful memories for the girl. Marissa had hurt her enough.

"No, it's okay," insisted Alex. "Jodie, she's…she left us. I had to fight like hell for custody. I just…." Alex let her sentence trail off.

Marissa nodded in understanding. "They said they weren't really yours?" Alex nodded. "Well, hey-biology's not that big of a deal."

"Oh, I don't know," replied Alex, smiling. "It's a pretty big deal in my profession. I'm talking huge."

Marissa sighed inwardly. She was glad that the previous tension had dissipated. "Oh I don't know. Big, maybe, but huge? That's taking a bit too far, don't you think?"

Both girls laughed. Suddenly, they heard a phone ringing. It was quickly discovered that it was Marissa's phone ringing. Unfortunately, Alex was able to see who the call was from. Ryan. _Of course._ The doctor didn't mean to look. Her eyes just wandered that way. She could tell Marissa was fighting with whether or not she should answer.

"Go ahead," encouraged Alex.

"No, it's okay," replied Marissa, who was oblivious to the fact that Alex knew who the caller was. "I can just-"

"Really. Go ahead. I need to go check on Kyle anyway."

Marissa still was hesitant. "Well, if you're sure-"

"I'm sure," answered Alex as she stood up. "Better answer it before you miss it." Marissa nodded and answered her phone. Alex walked as quickly as she could without it being obvious. She didn't stop until she reached her son and Seth. "Hey guys."

"Yo Alex! Check this out!" Seth showed off his sandcastle. It was more lumpy than shaped.

"Wow," replied Alex. "That sure is…tall."

"That's right," Seth said smugly. "What do you think about that Kyle?"

Kyle's castles was definitely smaller, but it had more shape to it. It actually looked like a castle. "No fair. You didn't tell me we were having a contest til Mom came over."

"What!" exclaimed Seth. Alex arched an eyebrow at him. "That's not true. I…he…so who's hungry? I am! I'm going tell Marissa to pack up so we can get going."

Alex shook her head at the sight of Seth's retreating form. "Alright, let's pack up your sand toys. Then, you stay with Seth and Marissa while I go out and your brother okay?"

Kyle nodded. "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"You liked mines better right?"

Alex had to stop herself from cooing. Her little boy just looked so serious in asking. "Definitely, but tell Seth." Kyle smiled widely and continued picking up his toys.

They had lunch at a restaurant off the pier. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was good. It was one of Alex's favorite places. One reason was the food, but a major reason was that it was very kid friendly. The conversation between Alex and Marissa flowed much more smoothly. They didn't talk about their past. Mainly because neither girls wanted to bring it up just yet, but also because of Seth. Instead, they just talked about their jobs, what they've been up to, and whatnot. The conversation had a slight impersonal touch to it, which Marissa didn't like, but she wasn't really complaining. She was still having a great time, and she was with Alex. Marissa dreaded when the day would end. She wondered if the end of the day would also mean the end of Alex in her life. Would Alex want to pursue a friendship her? Marissa hoped she would.

They all spent the rest of the day doing a little sightseeing, a little shopping, a little bit of everything. They ended their time together after dinner. Alex needed to get the boys home before the sitter arrived, and she needed to get ready for work.

Alex pulled into the Memorex Suites parking lot a little after seven. "So here were are." No one budged. Suddenly, Alex felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind. "Seth! You're squishing me!"

"Just a little bit longer," replied Seth. Finally he let go. Alex turned to face him. "Next week can't come fast enough."

Alex was confused. "What's happening next week?"

"You're visiting me, of course!" answered Seth!

Alex arched her eyebrow. "I am?"

"Yep. Don't worry I've worked out all the details with your sons."

Alex turned her gaze towards her two boys. They just gave her big smiles. "Oh really?"

"Really," answered Seth. "Well, love to stay and chat, but I really have to pee!" Seth hopped out of the jeep and ran towards the hotel. He didn't get too far before he turned around and ran back towards the car. He came up on Alex's side and gave her another tight hug.

"You have no say in this," Seth said in her ear. "You _are_ visiting me next week. I'm even letting you stay with me. Slumber party!" Seth let her go and ran back towards the hotel. He really did have to pee.

Alex shook her head at Seth's oddness as she turned to face Marissa. Marissa shared a smile with Alex. "It's really good to seem like that again," Marissa said as he gathered her things. "So…I guess you're coming to Newport next weekend?"

Alex nodded her head. "Apparently, I am."

"That's great!" exclaimed Marissa. "I mean, Newport has missed you." The two sat in an uncomfortable silence for a bit. The two boys watched the ladies just sitting there. They were a little bored.

"Marissa?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to be late."

"Oh! I'm sorry." Marissa unbuckled her seat belt. She was about to give Alex a hug, but then thought better of it. She wasn't sure if it'd be welcomed. Alex saw this and pulled the girl in for a hug herself. It was a bit uncomfortable with the console in between them, but neither girls cared. When they broke free, Marissa said goodbye once more and left. Alex waited until Marissa made it inside the hotel before she drove off.

"You guys have some explaining to do," Alex said to her boys as she drove home.

--

When Marissa entered the hotel room, she had a beautiful smile on her face.

"Wow, look how big that is," said Seth.

"How big what is?" questioned Marissa.

"That smile. I don't think there's a tape measurer long enough to measure it."

Marissa rolled her eyes playfully. "Seth, do you even know how to use a tape measurer?"

"I do!" exclaimed Seth indignantly. "How hard could it be?"

Marissa laughed at her friend when all of a sudden she exclaimed, "shoot!"

"What is it?"

Marissa dug through her purse and brought out an envelope. "I forgot to give Alex mom's letter."

"That perfect!"

Marissa was a little confused. "How is that perfect?"

Seth looked at her like she had asked a stupid question. "Now, you can go deliver it to her personally at the bar. It'll just be the two of you."

"Seth, it's a bar. It's going to be packed with people."

"They don't count. Anyway, she can take a break. You can join her. You'll give her the letter and just take it from there."

Marissa felt a little unsure. "I don't know, Seth. Can't I just give it to her when she visits next week?"

"No! This is the perfect opportunity for you. Take it." Marissa was still uncertain and Seth saw this. "Marissa, if you don't do it tonight, then I'll…then there will be no more ice cream dates in our future."

Marissa laughed at Seth's threat. "Seth-"

"Why are you laughing? I'm being completely serious here. So you gotta ask yourself-is waiting another week worth losing your ice cream soul mate?"

* * *

**I know, not the best, but I was having some issues on how I wanted Alex's initial reaction to be. That would've set the tone for the rest of the story. I'm not sure if I went the right direction with this, but I guess I'll just have to see how it'll play out.**

**Thanks for your patience, support, and reviews. I promise the updates won't take as long anymore. Vero: I love your admiration for this story. I just hope I don't disappoint you. Susie: I've checked out the website. They've got some great stuff there. I'm not sure I can compare, but I shall keep your suggestion in mind.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Also, I know nothing about how a magazine is run so let's just pretend what I come up with is true. Thanks again!**


	13. Past Reasonings

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks again for all the reviews. Explanations will finally be given soon. So I know Marissa's reasonings not the best, but never underestimate the power of insecurities.**

* * *

"That redhead was checking you out."

"Of course she was. No one can resist the Max-ster."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Max-you have to stop calling yourself that."

"Whatever. You're just jealous that the ladies were preferring me tonight."

"Yeah, must be a fool moon or something. Why else would they be doing such a thing."

"Hey!" Max playfully pushed Alex. "I resent that." Alex only laughed in response. It was 3:30AM and the two were finally going home. The bar had been busy, but it was the usual Saturday night kind of busy. The two were walking to their cars when Max stopped abruptly.

"Why'd you stop Max?"

"Dude, there's a total hottie by your car!"

Alex turned to look at her car. Standing next beside it was Marissa. She let out a sigh.

"What?" Max asked. Is she a one stand that can't seem to take the hint cause I'll totally her off your hands for you."

"No, it's not that. That's Marissa."

"Marissa? As in…"

"Yep," confirmed Alex.

"That's wonderful!" Max said with a smile.

Alex looked at Max a bit confused. "How's that wonderful?"

The blonde bartender rolled up his sleeves. "Cause now I can finally give her a piece of my mind."

Max started walking, but Alex stopped him. "Max, you need to behave." He just looked away. "Promise me you'll behave." Max held out his chin defiantly. "Max…," Alex warned in her motherly tone.

The bartender sighed dramatically. "Fine! No promises next time though." Alex nodded and the two made their way towards Marissa.

Marissa had spotted them the minute they came out. She saw them stopping. She knew they were talking about her. By the look on the guy's face, it couldn't have been good. "Hey," she said as the two of them reached her.

"Hi," replied Alex. "Did you forget where your hotel was?"

Marissa laughed nervously. "Heh, no I, uh, actually forgot to give you something." She held out the letter. "It's from my mother."

"It's not laced with poison or anything, is it?" joked Alex.

Marissa smiled. "No, her poisoning days are over. Being a grandma has made her a softy…but you didn't hear that from me.

"Ah," Alex said as she took the envelope. She was examining the exterior when Max cleared his throat. "Oh, I'm sorry. Max this is Marissa. Marissa, this is Max."

"Nice to meet you," Marissa said sweetly.

"Yeah, likewise," Max replied gruffly, giving Marissa a slight glare. This earned him a nudge and a glare from Alex. He just looked at her innocently.

"Uh…," began Marissa. "I was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit…privately."

Alex looked at her watch. "It's really late, Marissa. I really need to get back home and let the sitter be off duty."

"Right. Yeah, sorry I just…" Marissa let her sentence trail off.

Alex couldn't stand to see the look of disappointment on Marissa's face. Before she could stop herself, she said, "why don't you come on over and we can talk there. That is, if you're not too tired."

"I'd love to," Marissa answered quickly. "I mean, if that's okay with you."

"Yep. Did you drive here?" Marissa nodded. "Okay, why don't you just follow me. I don't live too far from here."

"Okay," agreed Marissa. "Let me just get my car. I'll be right back."

After Marissa left, Max started scold Alex. "Alex, you should know better."

"We're just talking. We spent the day together, remember. Everything was fine."

"Yeah, but this time it'll be just you two."

"It'll be fine," assured Alex.

"If you say so." The two of them looked up to see Marissa driving towards them. "Just be careful okay? I don't want you getting hurt again."

"Trust me, neither do I."

"Okay." Max gave Alex a hug and a kiss on the check. "Good night."

"Night Max." As Max got in his car, he gave Marissa one more look. Alex walked to Marissa's driver side window. "You ready?"

Marissa nodded. "I don't think he liked me very much."

"Don't worry about him. Let's get going."

--

The two of them arrived at Alex's shortly after. "You make yourself comfortable. I'm just going to check on my boys." Marissa nodded and made her way towards the couch. A few minutes later Alex joined her. She sat on the opposite end.

"Who baby-sits for you?" Marissa questioned.

"My mom."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's a long story. Don't worry. I won't bore you with it."

"Okay."

The two girls sat in silence for a few minutes. Both wanted to say something, but both were scared. Finally, Alex broke the silence.

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Always," replied Marissa, grateful that the silence was broken.

"I…I don't…I don't know how I'm supposed to react."

Marissa looked at her quizzically. "How do you mean?"

"To you, to you being here." Alex's hands started fidgeting. "I-I don't know if I'm supposed to be angry, sad, happy-I mean I _am_ happy to see you…and Seth. I really do mean that. I just…" Alex let her sentence trail off as she looked at Marissa. "I just don't know," sighed Alex.

The sound of despair and confusion in Alex's voice caused Marissa's heart to ache. Would she ever stop hurting her former love? "Forget how you're _supposed_ to feel. How do you actually feel? What are you feeling right now?"

"I…" Alex searched herself for something, anything, to describe what she was feeling. However, she couldn't find anything. She let out another sigh. "I don't know that either. At least, I'm not sure. I know that you're waiting for me to lash out at you or something. You were tense all day, like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Truth is, I made my peace with what happened between us. I assure you that I have no desire rant angrily at you. So please, relax a little."

"Easier said than done."

"Well, hopefully, now it'll be a little easier." Alex offered the lanky girl a hopeful smile, which Marissa returned. "The thing is, when I left Newport, I accepted the fact that I would never see you again. It hurt like hell at first. I loved you and knowing that I'd never see you again was a really hard pill to swallow, but I got through it. It was mainly due to Jodie and eventually, Joey." A genuine smile played across Alex's face. "I remember the day he was born. The months leading up to it were hell…in a good way. Jodie and mood swings….not the best combination. Ah, but it was all worth it when I heard Joey crying for the first time. Even before I held him, I was already madly in love with him. Then, when Kyle was born, it was the same thing. It's crazy how you can love someone that you've barely known so instantly, but then again, you know how it is…with Will."

This time it was Marissa's turn to be graced with an euphoric smile. "Yeah. Will was my saving grace in so many ways. From the moment I held him, he had me wrapped around his little finger. He still does. He was the cutest baby ever. Of course, I may be a bit biased. I used to hate it when he was asleep all the time. I had to constantly fight the urge to wake him. I just wanted to play with him and hold him and squeeze him to death…in a good way. I love that kid. Probably a little too much."

Alex took in Marissa's demeanor as she spoke about her son. The brunette doctor took in how Marissa's whole face lit her when she talked about him. It was probably the most calm and happy Alex has seen her. She was happy for the lanky girl, but then why did a small part of her felt like it was dying?

"You know, your staring at me doesn't help my tense nature," Marissa said, breaking Alex's thoughts.

Alex shook her head and laughed. "Sorry. Got lost in thought. Kids are so therapeutic, aren't they? They don't even realize it."

Marissa nodded in agreement. "So…can I be honest now?" Alex arched her eyebrow and then nodded. "The thing is, I've been kind of following you, but it's not what you think. Mom told me that she had ran into you last week, and from that day on I was haunted with the idea of paying you a visit. I just had to see you, but I wasn't sure if I should. Fear was the main reason. Also, I wasn't sure if you'd even want to see me. Eventually, my need to see you won over, but I knew I couldn't do it alone. So I dragged Seth with me. I figured that if you didn't want to see me, you'd definitely want to see Seth. I got your work address from my mom. She googled you. We got to your work place, but I couldn't bring myself to get out of the car. I wound up staying in there all day. Poor Seth. I'm sure he wanted to kill me. He was so patient with me though. Before I knew it, you were heading home and I still hadn't talked to you. So I followed you, thinking I'd talk to you at home. That obviously didn't happen either. Then, we saw you going out and again, we followed. The bar was our last stop though. I threw in the towel for the day and figured I'd have more courage the next day. Something tells me I would've chickened out again. Had it not been for Seth's little visit to you, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation now. I probably wouldn't even be here now. I was going to just wait til you came over next weekend, but Seth threatened me with ice cream."

"Ice cream?" questioned Alex.

Marissa nodded. "Long story. So you see, I wasn't following you per say, I just went wherever you went." Marissa waited for Alex's reaction, but the doctor remained silent. "Alex? You're not mad, are you?"

Alex wasn't sure what to make of this. She wasn't mad. She was more dumbfounded. "Wow. That's…wow."

"Are you mad?"

"No," assured Alex. "Just amazed." Alex looked at Marissa and the two girls shared a smile. Then, Alex's smile fell a little. "You know, I was more than content with living without you. I had my two boys, and that's all I needed. Seeing you now, again, is wonderful. However, if I had to be completely honest, your appearance confirms something that I've tried so desperately to ignore."

"What's that?" wondered Marissa.

Alex looked to the ground. "That it still hurts. Pathetic, I know. It's been eight years. I should be over it. I am. Everything dissipated, but the pain stayed. I don't know if it's because you hurt that badly…or because I loved you _that_ much. I'm not sure what I want the answer to be cause I'm not sure which one will hurt less." Alex was struggling to keep her emotions in cheek. Being a mom has made her such a sap!

Marissa couldn't bear seeing Alex like this. She scooted closer towards Alex and put her hand on her thigh. "Alex…"

"Why?" Alex returned her gaze to Marissa. "The 'why' has been killing me. I've played the possible reasons in my head so many times. You didn't love me anymore. I didn't make you happy. You got tired of the fact that I couldn't give you anything. You didn't want to be with me, but you didn't want to hurt me. So you acted the way you did so that I'd break up with you. I was just too stubborn and blind…and stupid to catch on. What was it, Marissa? I need to know."

Marissa gave Alex's thigh a gentle squeeze before she removed it and placed it in her lap. This time it was her that lowered her gaze. "The reason seems so dumb now. It definitely wasn't reason enough to treat you like I did." Marissa let out a sigh as she made eye contact with Alex. "Simply put, I didn't deserve you. I was young and stupid. I was off spending my parents money, and you were working so hard to keep a roof over our heads. I hated that. You were so young, and already you had so many responsibilities. You should've been out and having fun. I only added to those responsibilities. I didn't want to be that. I didn't want to another reason why you couldn't enjoy your youth. I didn't want to lose you. I loved you, but if it meant that you'd have one less thing to worry about, one less burden, then I had no choice. You were right about why I acted the way I did. I wanted you to break up with me. Despite my well intentions, I couldn't bring myself to break it off. However, when I felt like you were going to actually do it, I stopped being a bitch. I went back to being sweet. I knew having me out of the picture was for the best, but I was selfish. Knowing I needed you to break up with me and actually having you do is are two different things. When it came down to it, I just couldn't let you go. Then, I'd scold myself for being so greedy and inconsiderate. It made more convinced that I needed to let you go. You needed someone that put your needs in front of their own. So I went back to being mean. I just kept going back and forth. Eventually, I got so mad at myself that I took it out on you. I kept getting crap from our friends so I treated them poorly also. I spent less time with them cause what they were saying was true, and I didn't want to hear it. I would only make me feel worse, and I'd probably back down. I spent all those nights out cause it was too hard to be with you and keep up my charade. Having you hold me, just being in your presence would've weakened my resolve. Then, Jodie came, and everything went even further downhill from there. I became more greedy. I didn't deserve you, but I didn't want her having you either. You were so happy when she came. I was jealous of that. I know that I wasn't exactly giving you reasons to be happy with me, but seeing you so happy and smiling in her presence still hurt. Eventually, my insecurities got the better of me. I started telling myself that you still had feelings for her. I was more than positive that she still had some for you. I mean, who wouldn't? The idea of you two getting back together drove me insane. I couldn't have it. I wouldn't. Then, that night when I saw you two together-"

"Marissa, nothing was going on," interrupted Alex.

"I know, but with the way that my mind was working…I couldn't take it. I thought my fear had come true, and I couldn't handle it. I went back to my mom's that night and cried myself to sleep. For the first couple of days, I just stayed angry. Angry at you for leaving me. Angry at myself for losing you. I refused to see anyone, even Summer. I was just so mad…and hurt. Eventually, my mom broke me down. She told me I could pretend to be angry and not give a damn and lose the girl, or I could be honest with myself and fight for you. She voted for the latter." Marissa saw Alex's surprised look. "I know, it surprised me too. I knew she accepted you as part of my life, but I didn't realize she had approved as well. I took mom's advice. I decided to fight for you. I called Summer and Taylor, and we devised a plan. It was decided that I needed to show that I'd change first. First thing was to get rid of Volchok and his friends. Then, I'd amend my friendships. I wanted to fix things with you first, but Summer said I had to prove myself first. She was right. I didn't want you to think I was just temporarily being nice again. I wanted you to know it was the real deal. I was supposed to explain everything to you at my party, but you had stopped calling. I got scared. I thought maybe you had given up. With each passing day that you didn't call, I got more scared. I had images, nightmares, of you and Jodie together. I kept to the plan though. As much as I wanted to see you, I didn't want risk anything. I had more explanations and apologies to make. I couldn't risk you not believing that I was legit. So I kept at it, but I was losing hope. The day of my party-nervous doesn't even begin to describe what I was feeling." Marissa laughed nervously as she ran a hand through her hair. "I was excited to see you. It had been weeks since I'd seen you and I missed you so much. I was scared too. What if after all my explaining you still didn't want to be with me? That would've killed me. Unfortunately, I didn't get to explain everything. Had I known you were going to leave town, I would've gone after you sooner. I just thought you'd go back to the apartment or some bar. I did run after you until I saw you in Jodie's arms. It might've been nothing, but it still wasn't pleasant to see."

"I didn't plan to leave Newport," Alex said. "I was just so consumed with my emotions. I was just so tired of being in second place. I'd always be in Ryan's shadow, and I just couldn't take it anymore."

Marissa stood up in frustration. "Don't you understand that you were _never_ in Ryan's shadow. You weren't in anyone's shadow. You weren't in second place. There was no places. It was just you, _only_ you."

Alex stood up herself. She wasn't sure why, but Marissa's insistent angered Alex a bit. "Would you keep your voice down! My sons are sleeping!"

Marissa started rubbing her forehead. She walked towards the other end of the couch, giving her time to collect her thoughts. "I'm sorry," she said facing the wall, "I didn't mean to raise me voice. It's just, you of all people should know I don't go around telling random people how I care for them, how I love them. It hurts when I tell you how I feel and you don't believe me."

"Hurts?" Alex said quietly, but sharply. "I'll tell you what hurts. Try having Summer and Taylor spend countless hours to make me look beautiful for you. I had everyone complimenting me, except for the one person that I needed to do so. Not once did you say you thought I looked nice. Hell, I would've settled for decent. It's funny. I spent my life not caring what people thought of me, but some unspoken words from you was enough to bring me even further down. Even with Summer's and Taylor's help, I couldn't be beautiful enough for you."

Marissa turned around to face Alex. She was dumbfounded. Surely, she had complimented Alex. She must have! "I thought I did-"

"No, you didn't."

"I…I'm sorry."

"Yeah. A lot of good that does me." Alex let out a big sigh. "Listen, it's late, or early-whatever the hell it is. I'm tired. How about we just end it here before we both say something we regret? Marissa nodded. "I'll walk you to the door."

"It's okay. I got it. Sorry I kept you up and for being loud. I hope I didn't wake up your sons or your mom."

"Don't worry about it. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm-"

"No, you had every right," interrupted Marissa. She turned to leave, but before she took a step she turned back around. "Just so you know, you looked amazing that night. You didn't need Sums's or Taylor's help though. You would've looked amazing regardless. And I'm sorry. For everything." Before Alex could get a word in, Marissa rushed out the door. Alex went to the window and watched Marissa drive off. As she stood there watching, she replayed their conversation. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do now. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to do anything at all. Alex went to bed that night thinking of what was supposed to happen next. Should they try to be friends? Should they not even bother? Alex wasn't sure, and she didn't know how she'd arrive at her answer.

Marissa drove back to the hotel with tears running down her face. She, too, wasn't sure what was supposed to happen next. All she knew was that she accomplished her goal. The ball was in Alex's court now.


	14. Bygones

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Thanks for your feedback and patient, especially you vero. I'm in the middle of a move right now so everything is crazy. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this and I hope you guys continue to read it. By the way, the comic book that I so horribly describe does not exist. It was just the first thing that came to mind.**

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"Are you on your way yet? Are you? You had better be! I expect to see you here in about an hour. Not a minute more. You better be on your way! Oh, we're going to have so much fun! First, we're going-"

"Whoah! Slow down, Seth," exclaimed Alex. "I've just got to tie up a couple loose ends and I'll be on my way." Friday had finally rolled around, and Alex was both nervous and excited. She was eager to see her old friends, but a part of her worried just how well her arrival would be perceived.

"Al," whined Seth. "Must you procrastinate? I've been waiting all week. You should be halfway here by now."

Alex laughed at her friend's demeanor. "Sorry for having a job. I don't know what's wrong with me. I must be insane-having a job so I can support my kids. Shame on me."

Seth glared, even though Alex couldn't see it. "Enough with the sarcasm woman. You're lucky I'm still talking to you after your little stunt." The stunt that Seth was referring to was Alex almost changing her mind about visiting Newport. It wasn't that she didn't want to, she just wasn't sure if it was best, especially with the way things were left with her and Marissa. The brunette was over Marissa, but physically seeing the lanky girl married with the reason they didn't work out still wasn't going to be easy. Seth all but verbally killed her when she told him she wasn't sure if she could make the trip. Then, Alex remembered Marissa's words-about how happy Seth has been again. Alex couldn't bring herself to take that away from the guy. So the doctor caved and told Seth she'd be there.

"For the millionth time, I'm sorry about that," apologized Alex. "I am coming though. Promise."

"Well, I'll forgive you when I see you at my doorstep."

"In that case, let me get off so I can take care of things and be on my way."

"Oh my god! I can't wait!" exclaimed Seth, his excitement returning. He, too, was still at work, and his loud shrieks of excitement weren't going by unnoticed.

Alex laughed at her friend's enthusiasm. "Goodbye Seth." Alex hung up the phone and started her tasks and continued to mentally prep herself for the oncoming weekend.

--

"You know, I'd think you'd be more excited. Alex is coming to visit. I'm expecting you to be all kinds of happy and making weird noises like Cohen is, and yet you're not."

Marissa had been sitting in her office, staring out of her window, and a smile was absent from her face. If anything, the girl looked depressed. She turned towards her friend and offered her a sad smile. "I love how you still call him Cohen."

"Of course. He'll always be Cohen, and you'll always be Coop. Nothings going to change that. That stuff is eternal."

"You should take him back, Sum." Marissa knew she probably shouldn't have that, but she couldn't help herself. Seth and Summer belonged together.

Summer let out a sigh and went to sit in a chair across Marissa's desk. The subject of Seth wasn't a foreign one, but it was still a very sensitive one. "Coop…don't. Not now, please."

The taller brunette was tempted to push it further, but thought better of it. "Sorry. I'm just so-"

"Worried? Nervous?"

Marissa leaned back into her chair and stared at the ceiling. "Among other things." The brunette beauty spent the week wondering, worrying, about any decisions Alex may have made. "What if she decides she doesn't want me in her life? To have her again, only to lose her…I don't think I'll survive that. I can't loose her again, Summer." Marissa felt her eyes tearing up. "I-I just can't."

The shorter brunette got out of her seat and walked over to her friend. She pulled Marissa into a hug, and tried as best as she could to soothe her. "It'll be fine. I promise it will be." Summer meant every word. She'd do whatever it takes to give her best friend the happiness she deserved, the happiness that she cost her.

--

Alex finally arrived at Seth's about two hours later. Before she could even knock, the door swung open. "You're late!"

Alex slumped her shoulders. "Yes, well, we had to stop to get something to eat. It's not wise to starve kids."

"I have food here," Seth said indignantly.

"Seth, are you going to let us in or not?"

Seth pretended to think about it for a minute causing Alex to be slightly annoyed. Before she could say anything, Seth encompassed her into a massive hug. Then, he lifted her up, spun her around once, and put her back down. "Of course you can! Come on in!" However, Alex and her sons just stood there for a bit. All three were amazed that Seth was actually capable of doing that. Alex was nowhere near heavy, but Seth was very much a scrawny man. "Alex? You coming in?"

Alex shook herself out of her daze. "Let's go boys."

"Mom, I have to pee," informed Joey.

"Oh, it's down the hall to your right," instructed Seth.

"Don't forget to wash your hands," Alex called out to her son.

"I know, mom!" replied Joey a little annoy and embarrassed.

"I'm just saying," Alex said mostly to herself. She looked at Seth only find him looking at her strangely. "What?! I'm a doctor! I know all about the evilness of germs."

Seth half smiled. "It's not that. It's just…you're a mom."

This time it was Alex that looked at Seth strangely. "Well….yeah. I thought that was clear from last weekend. You didn't forget over the week, did you?"

"No, it's nothing like that. It's just still a bit surreal. Seeing and hearing you do these mother-type things-it's just…so…you know."

"Oddly enough, I do know what you mean. There are times when I can't believe it either. I mean, me-a mom. I would have never guessed it. I mean-" Alex words were stopped when she felt a tugging on her shirt. "What is it Kyle?"

"My book bag's getting heavy," replied the boy.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" came Seth's apology. "Let me show you where you'll be sleeping. Just then, Joey reemerged. "Perfect timing my little man. We're about to discover your sleeping headquarters. Follow me." Seth led them to a bedroom that was next the bathroom. "This is my spare room. Joey and Kyle, you guys will be sleeping here. Right across from you is my bedroom. Alex, you'll be sleeping here."

A gasp was heard. "Mom, are you going to sleep with him?" questioned Kyle.

Alex's eyes widened at her son's question. She turned to look at Seth. "Oh no, no," laughed Seth nervously. "I'll be on the couch. It has a pull out bed."

Alex mentally sighed. "Seth, I don't want to put you out. I can sleep with the boys."

"Nonsense," interjected Seth. "You're my guests. I don't mind. Really. Besides, you might as well take advantage of my hospitality. Eventually, you'll be coming here so often that you won't be guests anymore. You'll be lucky if I even offer you a bed."

"Are you sure?"

"Completely," assured Seth. "So why don't you guys get settled in. We have a big night ahead of us and an even bigger weekend. By the way, I have it all planned, and no, you get no say in it. What I say goes."

Alex playfully rolled her eyes. "Great. Alright boys, go unpack your things." Before Alex went off to do the same she told Seth, "Sorry about earlier. It's just I have no social life. I seldom have guys sleep over. If I do, they're friends of mines-guys that the boys know well and they sleep in a different room. With the exceptions of my sons, my bed is never shared. Never."

"Gotcha. It's cool. Now hurry up and unpack. Your tardiness has already thrown us off schedule." The brunette doctor rolled her eyes once more before heading to do so.

--

"You should go see her."

Marissa looked at her friend briefly before returning her eyes to the water. The two decided to go to the beach and just soak everything in. "I will. Seth has that big dinner planned tomorrow. I'll see her then."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," scolded Summer. "Just stop by and say hi. You don't have to stay long. Besides, you're obligated to do so. You know she's here and you're not going to go welcome her? That's not very welcoming."

"You know she's here too," replied Marissa.

"But I'm not supposed to," Summer countered. "Only you and Seth are supposed to know. Everyone else is supposed to find out at dinner tomorrow."

Marissa stayed silent for a few minutes, just watching the waves crash. Then, she let out a depressing sigh. "I wonder what Ryan would say."

"He'd probably tell you the same thing."

"Yea, he probably would. It's just that-"

"It's just nothing!" interrupted Summer. "Listen Coop-I love you so I'm not just going to let you just sit here. I will personally kick your ass all the way to Seth's if I have to. Have you seen how pointy these shoes are? Do you really want them kicking your ass?"

Marissa couldn't but laugh a little as she stole a quick glance at her friend's shoes. _They are pointy._ "Okay."

"Great," said Summer as she got up and dusted the sand off her. "Let's go!"

Marissa stood up with her friend. "I though you weren't coming?"

"I'm not, but I am driving behind you all the way there. I gotta make sure you don't chicken out on me.

Marissa threw her arm around her friend and started walking towards their cars. "Let's do it."

--

Alex had finished settling in and decided to check on her boys' progress. When she reached their bedroom she found them gathering around Seth. He was showing them his comic book collection. "Showing off, Seth?"

Seth looked up at Alex. "Al, I haven't looked at these in sooo long. I can't believe your sons don't have any comics of their own. What kind of mom are you?"

Alex shrugged her shoulders. "They never showed any interest. Besides, I wouldn't want to end being like a certain geek I know."

"Ha ha. Go away! Comic book lovers only."

Alex left them alone. She decided to explore Seth's apartment a little. She first looked at his pictures that he had at random places. A good number of them were of him and Summer. It hurt to see how much light he used to have in his eyes There were also some of his parents. She even found one that had her in it. It was from his mom's surprise anniversary party. Alex sighed. She couldn't believe how long it's been. Things were seemed so much simpler then. Sure, she had more responsibilities thanks to her newfound emancipation, but she was free. Alex didn't regret her life now-not one bit. She wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. The road she had to travel was a very trying one though. She missed the simplicity sometimes.

Her eyes continued to scan some more pictures. They stopped suddenly when they landed on a particular picture. It was a picture of Marissa with Will…and Ryan. She took the picture in her hands. She couldn't deny that the three of them looked great together. It showed Will pointing to a sand castle that he had built. It was pretty impressive for a kid. He had a proud look upon him. Ryan and Marissa were side by side making kind of an awed face. Alex laughed to herself. They looked so goofy. Her laughter was short-lived though for she also noticed how perfect they looked together.

"Great picture, huh?" Alex looked over to see Seth making his way towards her. "Top notch, I'd say. Of course, I took it so I might be a little biased.

Alex set the picture back down. For whatever reason, she couldn't bare to look at it for much longer. "Why aren't you with your comics?"

"I figured I'd those kids some alone time with them."

"You trust those kids alone with them?"

"Of course." Then a panicked looked cross over Seth's face. "Why are you saying I shouldn't? Oh no!"

Seth started to turn around and head back, but Alex stopped him by grabbing his arm. "Calm down, Seth! Geez! I was just messing with you."

"You should _never_ joke about the well-being of my comics." Seth warned.

Alex had to stop herself from laughing at Seth's demeanor. "Sorry I was just-" Her sentence was interrupted by the sound of a doorbell.

"I got it!" Seth squeaked out. He went and opened the door. "Marissa! I was wondering when you'd show up!"

Alex momentarily stilled at the sound of the brunette's name. She looked towards the door to see Marissa coming in. Their eyes met. She offered Marissa a small smile. "Hey Marissa."

Marissa returned her smile. "Hi. How was your drive?"

"Too long!" interjected Seth.

Alex rolled her eyes at Seth's answer. "Yeah, apparently it was wrong of me to stop and feed my kids."

Marissa feigned horror. "Alex how could you do such a thing! That's a big taboo."

"I know. I just…I wasn't thinking." Both girls shared a little laugh.

Seth rolled his eyes. "Ha-ha. Very funny." Truth was, however, he was happy to see them joking with one another. It was a very welcomed sight. "Well, I was going to invite to go to the video store with us, Marissa, but now I don't think I will." Seth caught Alex's arched eyebrow. "That's right. We're going to rent some movies and watch them until we fall asleep. That is, after we play some hardcore Rock Band. I was going to let you relax tonight. However, that was before you were late and making fun of me." Seth pretended to pout.

"Awww, I'm sorry," cooed Alex. She made her way towards him and Marissa. She gave him her best puppy eyes. "Forgive me? Pwease?"

"Yeah Sethy-poo," joined Marissa. "We'll be good."

"I'll have to think about it." Seth pretended to do so for a few seconds. "Okay, you're forgiven! Let's go! I'll go get the boys. Oh boys…."

Seth's voice faded as he headed towards the bedroom, leaving the girls alone.

"I hope you don't mind me intruding," Marissa said. "I just wanted to come by to say hi and welcome you guys."

"Nonsense," assured Alex. "You're more than welcomed to join us."

"Thanks. I won't be here long though. Just a few hours at the most."

"Well, we'll make the most of those hours then. So….you've been well?

Marissa nodded. "As well as can be. You?"

"Yeah. Listen, I'm sorry I lost my cool last time."

Marissa shook her head. "Don't apologize. You had every right to."

"That's debatable. Listen, I just…I just want to leave the past in the past. I don't have any grudges against you. I'd like it if we could be friends. I mean, I'll be the first to admit that's it'll be a little weird at first. At least, it will be for me, but we're both adults. What happened between us was a whole different lifetime. We're not the same people we used to be. We'll be seeing a lot of each now I'm sure. That's inevitable with Seth back in my life, and I don't want to keep having these awkward moments between us. So I say let bygones be bygones. We'll start anew. So what do you say? Friends?"

Marissa was slightly stunned, but in a good way. She came to welcome the brunette back to Newport, and she wound up being welcomed herself-into Alex's life. Friends. She could that. It was an invitation back into Alex's life and that's exactly what she wanted.

Alex took Marissa's silence the wrong way. "I'm not saying we have to be best friends or anything. I just figured it was a much better option than just dealing and tolerating one another when I'm here, but if you don't want-"

"I do want to!" Marissa interrupted a bit too quickly. She cleared her throat. "I mean, I'd like that. Very much."

"Excellent." Both girls smiled at one another.

"Sorry I took so long!" came Seth's voice breaking their little moment. "Joey was in the middle of one of my favorite comic books. Naturally, I had to go like super in depth about it. Then, I remembered why I was there, and here we are."

"Mom, it's such an awesome one!" exclaimed Joey excitedly. "It's about this guy who gets bitten by a vampire-"

"Yeah, and he has all these powers from the vampire that bit him!" interrupted Seth.

"And mom…"

Alex continued to listen as Joey and Seth were telling her about this supposedly awesome comic. Her son looked so cute while he was giving her the description. Finally, the two of them were finished with their explanation.

"I'm going to stop there cause I don't want to ruin it for you, Joey," Seth said. "Let me just tell you though-wow!

Alex heard Marissa laugh a little. She smiled at the sound. "So Joey, Kyle-there's someone here. How do we welcome our guests?"

Both boys said hello to Marissa and asked how she was. Marissa answered them and was impressed with their manners.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Kyle."

"I thought we were the guests?"

The look of confusion on Kyle's face was almost too cute for Alex. "We are, sweetie. I was just trying to tell you to say hi to Marissa."

"Oh." The little boy still looked a little confused, but he remained silent.

"Alrighty then!" said Seth, clapping his hands together. "Let's get this night of adventure started." He looked at Alex's sons. "Boys, to the bat mobile!"


	15. Newport Reunion

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!  
**

**Thanks for the review, and mega thanks for your patience! I'm all done with my move now, so I am back in action. The next part was longer than I had expected so I had to break it into different chapters, which means almost immediate updates! Hope you enjoy. And vero-I can't tell you enough how much your love for this means to me. Thanks a bunch!**

* * *

Their little night of games and movie lasted until around two. Marissa was true to her word and didn't stay that long. She spent most of her time there being on edge. At some point the brunette was able to relax enough to enjoy the night. She proved to be surprisingly skillful on the drums while they were playing Rock Band. She even had a friendly competition with Alex. Naturally, Kyle and Joey cheered their mom on. Seth, on the other hand, went back and forth between the two brunettes. Marissa started out strong, but eventually Alex and her guitar skills won. It wasn't so surprising. The doctor did play guitar after all. Marissa left around nine or so, and Alex's sons fell asleep not too long after.

The two remaining survivors were watching Enchanted, the only girl movie allowed for the night. At some point, Seth rested his head on Alex's shoulder. Initially, Alex shrugged him off, but Seth went on a rant about how it was Alex and Seth time and that it was part of the bonding process. The brunette decided to let his head stay just to shut him up.

"Al?"

"Yeah?" answered Alex absently. Her mind was on the movie. She was loving it. Well, she was loving Patrick Dempsey.

"Be honest with me?"

"Uh-huh."

Seth removed his head and turned his body enough so that he was facing Alex. He waited for her to meet his gaze. Feeling Seth move, Alex turned to look at him. He had a very serious, but cautious, expression on his face.

"Seth?"

Seth took in a breath and asked, "How do you really feel about Marissa? I mean, I know you told her that you're not angry, but...I mean, I don't expect you to have any romantic feelings towards her. I wasn't implying that. It's just she's my friend too, and I hate seeing her so..."

"Seth?" Alex waited until he had his full attention. "I really don't have any ill feelings towards Marissa. I meant it when I said I've missed her. I've missed all of you guys. I also meant it when I told her I wanted to be friends. I like having her in my life. I know she's still extremely nervous, among other things, around me. I'm trying to rectify that. She has no need to feel that way around me."

Seth nodded and settled himself back on Alex's shoulder. "Okay. Tonight was fun. She was so relaxed and just enjoying herself. You don't understand how great it was seeing her like that. I loved seeing her smile."

_Me too. _Alex made herself comfortable again and continued watching the movie. Although she didn't want it to, images of Marissa and their time tonight kept popping in her mind. She recalled the look of determination the lanky girl had when they were having their little competition. She remember how adorable Marissa had looked when she was defeated. And her smile-Alex really enjoyed seeing that. She looked so…beautiful. A girl could fall for her just for her smile alone. _A girl like me_. Alex quickly got rid of that thought. She couldn't allow herself to think that way. She wouldn't. Marissa was off-limits. She was married and has a kid to boot. Those reasons didn't really matter though. Alex had no intention of being with Marissa in that way. She wanted to be friends and nothing more.

--

Alex woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee. As she got up, she realized that she had fallen asleep on Seth's couch. Suddenly, she felt something heavy jump in her lap.

"Morning, mom!"

Alex laughed. "Morning Kyle. Have you been up long?"

Kyle took a second to think about it. "I don't think so."

"Where's your brother?"

"In the kitchen. He's helping Seth make breakfast."

Alex turned her head in the direction and sure enough, there they were.

"About time sleepy head," teased Seth.

Alex got up and walked with Kyle towards the kitchen. "Sorry. For some reason, I was up late last night."

Seth scoffed. "Please, you're a doctor. You should be used to long hours and late nights."

"I'm a pediatrician," corrected Alex. "I have normal business hours….most of the time."

"Yeah well,...you're a mom so you should be used to it regardless."

Alex didn't say anything. She had him there. She scooted closer to Seth and whispered, "They didn't find us asleep together, did they?"

Seth shook his head. "Nope. I went to sleep in my room after you feel asleep."

"And you couldn't wake me to do the same?"

"I didn't want to disturb you. Last time I checked, you were a nightmare to wake up." Seth ignored the glare Alex was giving him. "I would've done the man thing and carried you to bed, but you're too heavy."

"I am not heavy!" exclaimed Alex. "You're just a scrawny man."

"Yeah, yeah. So who's hungry?"

"I am," answered the whole Kelly clan.

--

After breakfast, Seth took them out and about. He showed Kyle and Joey where their mom used to live and work. After he was done with his mini tour, Seth took them to a sports park. There they spent all afternoon play putt putt, riding bumper boats, driving go-karts, and playing more games. Somewhere amongst all that fun, they squeezed in lunch.

They returned to Seth's apartment as evening was beginning to settle in. All four of them fell onto the couch.

"What a day!" exclaimed Seth.

Alex made some kind of noise in agreement. "I'm actually surprised we came back so early. Here I thought you had more planned."

"Who says it's over?" Seth looked at his watch. "We have about an hour before dinner. I figured I'd take some pity on you and let you catch your breath."

Alex did her famous eyebrow arch. "Why would I need to catch my breath? It's just dinner."

Seth smiled mischievously. "Something tells me it's going to be a very eventful dinner. Besides, I have so much more comics to show your sons. You guys want to see more comics?"

"Yeah!" exclaimed both boys.

"Let's go then!" Before she knew, Seth and her sons made a made dash towards Seth room. As she sat there in the living room alone, Alex couldn't help but worry about what Seth had planned.

--

Alex came out of the room dressed in the best clothes that she had packed, which was a pair of black slacks and a dressy white shirt.

"Looking good," complimented Seth.

"Thanks," replied Alex. "So now will you tell me where we're having dinner?"

Seth smiled. "My parents' place."

Alex started to feel uncomfortable. "Why there?"

"There's more room," Seth answered simply. "Plus, there's that nice big pool that I'm sure the boys will love. Which reminds me, don't forget their swimming shorts."

Alex looked around the room. "Where are they?"

"They're still looking at comics."

Alex sighed. "I'll get them. I don't want to be late, especially if your parents are going to be there." Alex made her way into Seth's guest room. She saw her boys each reading a comic book. However, with Kyle, it was more like looking at the pictures. Both were dressed in khakis shorts and a nice polo shirt. So simple, yet stylish. _Boys have it so easy sometimes. Especially when it comes to clothes._ Alex cleared her throat.

"Looking sharp guys."

Both boys looked up at the sound of their mother's voice. "Mom, you look good," complimented Joey.

"Why, thank you," Alex responded in a southern accent. "You're too kind." Her sons laughed at her antics. "Come on. We got to get going."

--

When they arrived at the Cohen's, Alex was surprised to see a few other cars there.

"Uh, Seth?"

"Yep."

"There seems to be a lot of cars here," Alex said suspiciously.

"You're right," agreed Seth. "Perhaps my parents are having guests over, Wait here. I'm going to see what's up. They had better not forgotten about our dinner."

Alex watched Seth suspiciously as he made his way into the house. "That man is up to something."

"What did you say, mom?" asked Joey.

"Hmmm?" Alex turned around in her seat.

"I heard you say something."

"Oh, it's nothing. I just think there's something Seth's not telling us."

"Like what?" Joey asked.

"I'm not sure, but I will find out."

"Maybe it's a surprise!" Kyle volunteered excitedly.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Alex muttered to herself.

The three of them were soon startled by the sound of rapid tapping. Alex turned around and saw Seth sporting a dorky smile. Alex opened her door a little.

"Seth you scared us," reprimanded the doctor.

"Sorry," chuckled Seth. "Come on. They're waiting."

"So do they have guests?" Alex questioned as the four of them made it to the door.

"Yep."

Alex ceased her walking. "Seth, we can do this another time. Your parents have guests. I don't want to intrude."

"Nonsense. You were their guests first. Besides you leave tomorrow. Rescheduling is definitely out of the question. Now, come on!"

"Okay," sighed Alex. "Let's go."

When they entered the house the first thing Alex noticed was the silence. "Why is it so quiet?"

"They're all out back," answered Seth.

"This sure is a big house," Joey said in awe.

"You guys have a big house too," Seth stated.

"Not like this," replied Alex.

"It's okay," Seth said nonchalantly. "I'm going to go announce your presence. Count to 20 and then come out. Got it?"

However, Seth was already gone before Alex could say anything.

"So," began Alex, "who wants to help me count?"

"Me!" answered Kyle quickly.

Alex smiled at her youngest son's enthusiasm. She turned to look at her other son.

"Joe?"

"Pass," Joey answered.

"Suit yourself. Alright Kyle. Let's get it started.

When the two had finished counting, Alex started to feel nervous. "Okay kids-let's go."

When Alex took that last step, the one that took her back outside, she felt like she had stepped back into her past. She wasn't sure why, but she knew that the people standing before her had something to do with it. There, in front of her, stood Seth's parents, Ryan, Marissa, Will, a man she didn't know, Kaitlin, and Julie Cooper. It was like a Newport reunion plus two.

Kyle and Joey stood there waiting for their mom to say something, but she didn't. They both looked at her then each other. Their mother's silence was starting to make them feel uneasy.

Alex was shocked to say the least. She found herself reaching for her sons' hands. She was searching for something to say. The simplicity of a hello was lost on her. While she was trying to make her brain work, Alex realized something. She wasn't the only one that was speechless. The group before her had the exact same look of surprise and shock on their faces. Everyone, except Marissa. Alex turned to look at Seth. He had a satisfied and giddy smile on his face.

Seth had been waiting for this moment all week. He watched as Alex stepped outside. He intensively studied her face and the face of everyone else's. He could feel the smile forming on his face, feel his skin stretching to accommodate it. When Alex finally turned to face him, Seth was ready for it.

"Surprise," Seth said gently. He saw Alex's look of confusion deepen. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this. I arranged this little dinner party for you, Al. I invited everyone that you knew, the major players anyway. However, I didn't tell him who the guest of honor would be. As you know, I didn't tell you about his little surprise either. I wanted it to be a surprise on both ends. The only other person that knew was Marissa."

At the sound of that name, Alex found herself turning her gaze to Marissa. Marissa offered her a crooked smile, the one that Alex had always loved. Alex returned her smile, but then her eyes wandered. She noticed Ryan standing next to her, and Will was in front of both of them. Their son was in front of them. Alex could feel her smile fading.

Marissa noticed Alex's smile fading, and felt hers recede as well. Her eyes asked her what was wrong, but Alex only turned away.

"Guys, let me introduce you our guests of honor," Seth continued. "This Alex. Sadly, she's no longer the hot blonde Alex, but luckily for her, she's a hot brunette also. Those are her sons, Kyle and Joey."

Everyone remained silent. Again, Joey and Kyle waited for their mom to say something. When she didn't, they both greeted the people before them.

"Nice to meet you," the both said, slightly out of sync.

"What great manners!" exclaimed Sandy as her crossed the invisible line that had previously kept them separated.

At the sound of Sandy's booming voice, Alex returned to reality. "Yeah, they're pretty good at remembering their manners, even when their mom isn't. Boys this is Mr. Sandy Cohen."

Sandy scoffed. "I'm too young to be a mister." He crouched down so that he was eye level with Alex's sons. He held out his hand. "Call me Sandy. That goes for you too mom."

Sandy had such an infectious smile that Alex couldn't help but mirror it. "Well then, Sandy, on my right is my oldest son Joey. This little guy here is Kyle."

Sandy shook both of their hands. "It's a pleasure to meet you guys. How old are you?"

"Seven," answered Joey.

"Five," followed Kyle.

"So young and so polite. I am amazed." Sandy stood back up. "You've done good Alex."

"Hey! Will has good manners too!" Marissa objected playfully.

Alex looked to see that Marissa, Ryan, and Will were making their ways towards her.

"Of course he is," Sandy replied. "It's just so nice to see it in other kids too."

"Alex, I'd like to formally introduce to Will," Marissa said. "Will you remember Dr. Kelly from your trip to LA with grandma?"

Will nodded. "I asked her about coffee."

"You sure did," Alex said. "By the way, the answer's no. There's no proof that coffee can make you stay short. However, you shouldn't drink it yet. It tastes so much better when you're older."

"Oh," Will said letting the idea sink in. He turned to look at the other two kids. "Hey, they have video games in the pool house. You guys want to go play?"

Both boys looked at Alex with pleading eyes. "You can play until we start eating."

"Alright!" all three boys exclaimed as they raced to the pool house.

"When is dinner?" inquired Alex.

"We're still waiting for two other people so maybe another half hour or so," answered Seth. "We have some fancy finger food if you're hungry now."

"No, I'm good," assured Alex. However, Alex wasn't sure if she liked the fact that even more people were coming. She could barely handle the number of people that were already here.

Ryan cleared his throat. "It's good to see you again, Alex."

Alex turned her gaze to the eyes of the man was once her enemy and friend. She briefly looked at Marissa. She saw that same nervousness in her eyes. However, this time, there was a hint of hopefulness in it. Alex knew Marisa was worried about her reaction to seeing Ryan again. Alex was intent on proving her that she had nothing to worry about.

"It's good to see you too, Ryan," Alex said genuinely with a smile. "Your son's very handsome."

Alex saw a proud look wash over Ryan's feature. "Thanks. He's such an amazing kid. Then again, I might be a little biased."

"It doesn't make it any less true," Alex said. She saw Ryan beam even more.

"Don't just stand there," Sandy said to the rest of the group that had yet to cross over. "Come and say hello properly."

Almost instantly Alex was engulfed into a hug by the youngest Cooper. Alex laughed. "It's good to see you too, Kaitlin."

"We have so much to catch up on," Kaitlin said. "You are not allowed to leave tonight without giving me your number. I flew all the way from Florida to see you."

"Florida?"

"Yeah, that's where I live now. Seth called me and said that I absolutely had to come to this dinner party, but he wouldn't tell me who the party was for. I told him I wasn't going to make the trip unless I knew who it was. Then, he went on babbling and I said yes just to shut him up."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, I know how that is."

"Hey!" exclaimed Seth.

"You tend to babble man," Kaitlin said. "You do it more than a girl. However, this is the one time I'm glad you do."

"I do not babble," Seth muttered.

"Oh, sweetie youdo, but it's okay," cooed Kirsten. She turned to face Alex and Kaitlyn. "Do I get a hug too, or are you going to keep her for yourself, Kaitlyn?"

"I supposed I can let her go. We'll catch up later, Alex."

Alex nodded and saw Kirsten standing with her arms open. She happily, but nervously, walked into them and hugged the older woman.

"It's good to see you again, Alex," the blonde woman said as she let Alex go.

"You too, Kirsten."

"Can I say that I just _love_ your hair! Brunette really suits you. It makes you look more exotic. I bet you have tons of guys and girls just banging at your front door."

Alex blushed a little at Kirsten's compliment. "Uh…thanks."

"Mom!" complained Seth. "You can't tell her she looks good. She'll never go back to being blonde then."

"Seth, you did the same thing." Kirsten said.

"Yeah, but I'm a guy that doesn't think before he speaks…"

As Seth and Kirsten continue to playfully bicker, Alex felt a pair of eyes on her. Actually, there were a lot of pairs of eyes on her, but one seemed to stick out. It belonged to none other than Julie Cooper. Alex started to feel nervous. Converted or not, Julie still scared Alex a little.

Sandy picked up on Alex's nervous, but he assumed it was because the brunette was being bombarded by a herd of people, which wasn't entirely false. He decided to help surrounded doctor out. "Guys, guys. How about we step back and give the lady some room, huh? You guys don't want to scare her off and have her never come back. Let's disperse and we can each have our own individual conversations with Alex throughout the night, huh?"

Alex looked at Sandy gratefully.

"I get the first round," came a voice. Alex turned towards the direction of the voice. It was just her luck that it belonged to Julie Cooper. She swallowed the lump in her throat. The brunette had a long night ahead of her.


	16. So Many Thank You's

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for all your reviews! So this one is a bit shorter, but expect a longer one next time!**

**orgy123: Thanks for the review! Marissa definitely wants her time, and it will be quite something.**

**haelthy: Things will definitely be cleared this night, including the whole deal about Ryan and Marissa.**

**WonderousPlaceForAnEcho: Thank god Seth is sneaky, otherwise this night would have never been. Alex's time with Julie won't be too bad.**

**vero: You won't see Taylor's reaction in this update, but watch for it in the next update. Thanks again for your support!**

**shassy25: Seth is quite awesome, isn't he? I hope you enjoy the update!**

**bigblusky: This one surprise that Alex definitely can't miss. Summer and Taylor will appear in the next update. Stay tuned!**

**dam: I'm glad you like this fic. A little would be cute, wouldn't it? I'm glad you have patience with cause I tend to try it sometimes. I hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

* * *

Alex and Julie made their way inside the house and into the kitchen.

"So Alex," began Julie, "how have you been?"

"Good," Alex answered as sat down at the table. "And you?"

"Wonderful," Julie replied, joining the brunette. "I'm assuming you've read my letter. I mean, you've had ample time to do so."

"Yeah," Alex laughed nervously.

"So were going to give me the opportunity to say it in person or were going to leave without even seeing me?"

"No, I was going to see you. Honest. I was just putting it off for as long as possible."

"And why is that?" Julie asked, arching her eyebrow.

"Well, you kind of scare me, Julie. It's juvenile, I know, but…" Alex just shrugged her shoulders as she let her words trail off.

The older woman shook her head. "Well, I guess I was some kind of something back in the day. Anyway, allow me to say what I've been waiting years say: thank you."

"It's really not necessary," insisted Alex. When Alex read Julie's letter, she wasn't sure what to expect. A part of her thought about not reading it all together. Still, the brunette made herself read it. It told Alex about how Marissa had behaved since Alex left Newport. Julie told her this in hopes of helping Alex release any anger she may have still harbored for her daughter. Julie also went on to tell the doctor that she was the reason why she had Marissa back in her life. She wanted the opportunity to thank Alex in person. So Julie left her contact information. Alex truly did plan on seeing Julie before she left. The thought of seeing Julie Cooper made her nervous. Besides, the brunette didn't feel she deserved the woman's gratitude.

"Of course it is. Alex, you gave me back my daughter."

"You never lost her."

"But I did. That night when Marissa came to me after seeing you with Jodie, I was surprised to say the least. Sure, our relationship was better than it was before, but that's not saying much. We didn't even say anything. I just held her as she cried, but I knew that I finally had my daughter back. Later on, I asked why she came to me, and not Summer. She told me it was because she just felt like she needed her mom on that one. She even admitted to me that had it not been for you, I would've never been an option that night. She told me how you kept encouraging her to give me a second chance. It caused a lot of arguments between the two, but you still encouraged her. Why?"

"A girl needs her mother," Alex said simply. "I hated my mom's reaction to my sexuality, but I didn't hate her. Don't get me wrong, getting emancipated was the best thing for me to do. However, that didn't mean I didn't want her in my life anymore, that I didn't need her. No matter how much Marissa complained about you, I knew she still needed you. So that's why I kept encouraging her. I didn't want her to reach the point where it would be too late. I knew you loved her. I never doubted it, despite your interesting ways of showing it. Otherwise you would've made good on your threats about cutting her off. Hell, you could've just gotten the cops involved and make her leave that way. Instead, you kept her financially secure. It wasn't that you knew she'd stay with me regardless. It was because you didn't want your daughter to be without. God knows I couldn't take care of her."

"But you did, Alex-"

"Not financially."

Julie sighed. She wasn't liking the disheartening look Alex had. "Alex, she didn't care about that."

The brunette scoffed lightly. "Of course she didn't. That doesn't matter now. It's in the past now. In regards to my being mad, I'm not. Like I've told your daughter and Seth, I've put it behind me."

"She's just been through a lot."

"I know…and I'm sorry that I did that to her."

"Alex, it wasn't your fault."

Alex smiled sadly. "She acted that way because I left."

Julie took Alex's hands in hers. "Don't blame yourself, Alex. None of us do, and neither should you. If anything, you helped Marissa. You kept her in school. She had promised you that she'd finish school, and thank god everyday that she did. Otherwise, she would've probably just dropped out. You don't understand how intent she was on keeping that promise to you."

Even though she tried to fight it, the fact that Marissa had kept her promise made Alex smile. The fact that Marissa didn't want to let Alex down even though they weren't together caused Alex to feel something that she didn't want to feel.

When Alex remained silent, Julie figured she'd let her go. She had no doubt that Alex's mind was on overload at the moment. "So I think I've hogged you long enough. I don't want to be killed because I've kept you too long."

Alex laughed lightly as they both got up. "Somehow I don't think you'll ever have to worry about something like that."

Julie just shrugged her shoulders. "If there's anything I could ever do for you, please don't hesitate to let me know."

Alex nodded. "Oh, hey Julie?"

"Yes?"

"Who's that other guy? He's quite handsome, for an old guy."

"He's not old," corrected Julie. "He's just older, and quite taken. He's my husband."

"What happened to Caleb?

"Long story. I'll introduce you guys later. You have others waiting for you."

Julie had never been so right. Almost immediately after Alex stepped back outside, she was met head on with Kirsten and Sandy.

"Our turn!" Kirsten said excitedly.

"Whoa! What happened to one at a time?"

"We're a couple," explained Sandy. "We count as one cause we are united as one."

"Sandy, that's so corny," Kirsten reprimanded, "but so sweet."

"Well, I try." Sandy turned his attention to Alex. "We won't take long. We just wanted to say thank you."

Alex was a bit thrown by this. Everyone seems to be thanking her tonight. "What for?"

"You see that person over there?" Kirsten asked, pointing near the pool.

"You mean Seth?"

Sandy nodded. "That there is our son, our _smiling_ son. He hasn't had a reason to smile like that in a long time."

"Suddenly, he comes back from LA last week and he can't stop smiling," added Kirsten. "That's because of you Alex."

Alex went to protest, but Sandy stopped her. "No, it's true. He must've checked in with everybody at least a million times to make sure they were coming to this dinner. He's getting into his comics again. He's making lame jokes. He's laughing. He's even whistling. You have no idea how much we've enjoyed seeing that."

Alex was slightly speechless. She hadn't realized that she affected Seth that much, or that he was that sad. She made a mental vow to do everything she could to get him back with Summer. "I…I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," assured Kirsten.

Alex nodded. "I'm glad I could help."

"As are we," Sandy said. "By the way, as you've probably already gathered, we're having a cookout. Burgers, ribs, etc. Is that okay with you?"

"That's more than okay," Alex assured.

"Great!" exclaimed Sandy. "Well, I need to get back to my manly duties and not let the food burn. You enjoy the rest of your night."

Suddenly, Kirsten engulfed the brunette into a hug. "Thank you again," she whispered.

Alex simply nodded as Kirsten let her go. She watched as the pair made their way back to the grill. While doing so, she caught sight of Marissa and Ryan. They were sitting closely together sharing a laugh. Alex sighed. She really wished she didn't feel like her pet had just died or something every time she looked at them. She was about to turn away when Marissa caught her gaze. Alex held out for only a second before looking away. She needed to distance herself from Marissa so she started walking the opposite way.

For the second time that night, Alex had looked at her sadly. She looked at everyone else with smiles, but not her. Marissa wanted to know. They had a great time last night. So why was Alex looking at her like that? Marissa saw Alex walking away, and decided to find out why.

"Will you excuse me, Ryan?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks." Marissa got up and quickly made her way towards Alex. Thank god she had long legs. When she got close enough, she put her hand on one of Alex's arms and said her name.

"Alex?"

Alex froze at the sound of her name. She knew without a doubt who it was. A part of her wanted to run, but she knew that was foolish. Besides she couldn't leave her sons behind. She braced herself as she turned around.

"Hey Marissa." It was then that she noticed Marissa's hand on her arm.

Marissa saw Alex looking at her hand and quickly dropped it. "I was wondering if we could talk?"

"Sure."

"Great!" exclaimed Marissa, who was now smiling. "Uh, let's go sit over there."

Alex followed Marissa to one corner of the pool. It was isolated enough to ensure them privacy. Alex wasn't sure if being alone with Marissa was the best idea, but she couldn't think of a reason to protest. Besides, they were friends. Friends could talk privately.

"So what's up?" Alex asked lamely.

Marissa offered Alex a nervous smile. "I guess I just wanted to say thank you."

_Not another one._ "What for?"

"Last night. I had a really good time. I still want a rematch though."

"Give it up, Marissa. You'll never beat me at Rock Band," joked Alex. "These fingers are quite skillful."

"I know," Marissa let out. Then she realized the possible innuendo and wished she could take it back. She didn't correct herself though, hoping Alex wouldn't pick up on it. However, Alex did, but she chose to ignore it. Surely, Marissa wasn't implying anything.

"So," began Alex, "are you having a good time?" She could've kicked herself for her lameness.

Marissa nodded. "Are you? You are the lady of the hour."

Alex smiled. "I am. It's good to see everyone again."

"Trust me, the feeling's mutual with everyone. Listen, I was wondering…" Marissa let her words trail off. She wasn't sure if what she was about to ask would be her smartest move.

"Wondering about what?" Alex inquired.

"Never mind. It's nothing." But it wasn't nothing. Marissa just didn't want to risk the chance of hearing Alex reject her.

"Marissa…" insisted Alex. "Don't tell me nothing when it's something."

Marissa smiled at those familiar words. Alex used to always say that to her. "I was just wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me on the beach. Later on. After the party and after your boys are asleep. I mean, it's okay if you don't want to. Feel free to say no. I-I just thought it would be fun. I mean, it's just walking, but I know how much you love the beach-"

"Marissa?" interrupted Alex.

"Yeah?"

"Breathe."

Marissa laughed, and Alex found herself wanting to hear more of it. "I'm sorry. I'm just nervous I guess. I know you told me not to be, but I can be stubborn sometimes."

"No way," teased Alex.

Marissa rolled her eyes and playfully pushed Alex. "You shouldn't tease. So…do you want to?"

More than anything, Alex wanted to say yes, but she had to keep herself in check. "I'm thinking it's going to be kind of late when all those criteria are met. Are you sure Ryan won't mind?"

Marissa was a little confused. "I don't think so, but I don't see why it would be a problem if he did."

"Well, I would think he'd want his wife home with him at that hour instead of walking on the beach with her ex, especially since she spent the last weekend with her."

Now Marissa was really confused. "Wife? You don't think-wait a minute. You've thought I've been married to Ryan this whole time? Alex, Ryan and I are _not_ married."


	17. A Different Reaction

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for all your reviews. I must admit that it was delightful to hear of your confusion. So the questions will start to be answered, starting with this chapter. For those of you who are still wondering about Alex's gift-you'll find out in this chapter. It's a bit long. I apologize if it's too long.**

**WonderousPlaceForAnEcho****: **Nope, they are married. Hopefully, your confusion will lesson after this chapter.

**andygirl007: **I'm so very glad you love this story. I assure you that Marissa isn't messing with Alex.

**orgy123****: **Wouldn't we all like to know how skillful Alex's fingers are. I know I would. Hope you find this update satisfying.

**zenihua****: **Twists are good though, right? You liked it, yes?**  
**

**Seventh Theory****: **Those were happy tears, right? Hope you enjoy the update.

**MalexFan****: **Nope, not married. I can't spill the beans on their ending yet. It's possible though.

**Raydiant****: **I'm glad I could catch you off guard. I wasn't sure if I was convincing enough.

**xdeathglarex****: **Here's Alex's reaction. I can't guarantee you'll like it. Or maybe you will. Who knows?

**vero****: **LOL. They're for real, real not married. As for Will-read and you shall find out.

**shassy25****: **Well, here comes Summer and Taylor. Hope you enjoy their reactions.

**dam: **I'm glad you find this entertaining. Yes, Taylor is in this one. I couldn't have her not be. I apologize for the wait. I just needed her to come out at a certain time to keep make the Ryan/Marissa marriage thing more believable.

* * *

_Not married_. The words echoed in Alex's mind repeatedly. That wasn't possible. Was Marissa playing games with her?

"Alex, how could you think that?" came Marissa's voice, breaking Alex of her thoughts. "After everything, how you think that?"

Alex heard the pain in Marissa's voice. Even after all this time, she was still using Ryan against her. "What was I supposed to think, Marissa? For one thing, you are wearing a wedding band."

"I don't know. Maybe that I'm _not_ married. That would be much more accurate." Marissa couldn't understand why Alex would think such a thing. Would her history with Ryan always loom over their heads? "As for my wedding band, it's my mom's. It's from when her and Dad were married. She didn't want to throw it away because it still holds a lot of sentimental value, but she felt kind of bad for keeping too-given her new husband and all. So she gave it me."

"But Will is Ryan's son."

Marissa nodded. "_Ryan's _son, not mines."

Alex felt her confusion rising. "He's Julie's, your mom's, grandchild."

A realization hit Marissa. _She didn't know._ Of course she wouldn't. "Will is Ryan's and _Taylor's_ son, not mines. Ryan and Taylor are married, have been since college." Marissa watched as Alex's face grew more into confusion. She couldn't help but smile at the sight. "My mom is now happily married to this wonderful guy named Frank. Atwood."

_Atwood? _"As in…."

Marissa nodded in confirmation. "That's right. Ryan's dad. So technically, Mom's only the grandma by marriage." Marissa leaned in closer and whispered her next words. "However, don't let her hear you saying that. She'll kill you on the spot. Will is 100 her grandson, and she dares anyone to say otherwise." Marissa leaned back and watched Alex as she took everything in.

_Ryan's dad? When on earth did he get into the picture?_ "Wow. This is….wow." Alex laughed nervously as she looked at Marissa. "So that makes Will your-"

"Nephew," finished Marissa. "Sort of. Well, he is regardless. That also makes Ryan my stepbrother. Not my husband. Not my boyfriend. Not my anything. Honestly, Al, that's just gross!"

Alex smiled at Marissa's teasing words. Never in a million years would she have thought this scenario was possible. "So…are you seeing anyone?" Alex really didn't mean anything by the question. It was just the natural thing to ask next.

"No."

"Why not?"

Marissa looked at Alex. Surely, she knew why not. "I'm taken."

"But I thought you weren't seeing anyone."

Marissa turned away from Alex. "I'm not."

Then it dawned on Alex what Marissa meant. She, too, looked away. As the two girls sat their in silence, Alex reflected on her newfound information. Marissa wasn't married. Alex wasn't sure if she could survive that truth. She had meant it when she said she wanted to be friends, and only friends. However, as much as she tried to abolish it, there was still a part of her that still wanted more. She was over Marissa, but that didn't mean she couldn't fall for her again, if she hadn't already. At least before, she had the fact that Marissa was married to help expel her thoughts. With that fact shot to hell, what was Alex going to do now? _At least I wasn't thinking about a married woman._ No, Marissa was indeed single.

As Marissa's newly discovered singleness sunk in more, Alex became more scared. It was too much of a risk factor. Sneaking a glance at the brunette before her, Alex felt her heart tugging. That wasn't good. No, being friends with Marissa now would be too dangerous. She needed to get away. Now. She got up quickly.

Marissa was caught off guard by Alex's abrupt movement. "Alex, what-"

However, her words were cut of by a loud voice. It sounded more like a screech actually.

"Alex Kelly!"

Alex turned around at the sound of her name. She saw some sort of brunette figure before she felt the wind knocked out of her by something. Alex was hit with so much force, she was amazed that she didn't fall backwards into the pool. She looked down to see the reason why the air was suddenly gone from her lungs. She smiled at the sight.

"Summer. It's good to see you."

Summer looked up at the taller brunette. "Girl, you have no idea! It has been tooooo long! Oh my god, I can't believe that you're actually here. How are you? How-"

"Slow down, Summer," interjected Alex. "I'll answer all your questions, but first can you let me go. Lack of air is not a good thing."

Summer instantly let the girl go. "Sorry. I tend to get overexcited."

"No problem," Alex said, grateful to have air in her again.

Summer was about to say something, but she was cut off by another booming voice. This one wasn't as loud, but it wasn't as friendly either. She turned to see Taylor making her way towards her. More importantly, she saw the look in Taylor's eyes. Alex knew that look. She was in trouble. Big trouble. Without thinking she went to hide behind the person closest to her. Unfortunately, that turned out to be the shortest one there: Summer. Still, luck was on her side. The only other person scarier than Taylor was Summer.

"Alexandra Kelly, don't you dare hide from me!" yelled Taylor as she got closer. "How dare you leave me without even saying good bye! You didn't even keep in touch!" Taylor finished making her way towards Alex. All that stood between the brunettes was Summer. Alex couldn't help but cower a little.

Taylor saw this and smile smugly. _Good._ "Eight years, Alex. Eight years! Not a single peep was heard from you. You even had the nerve to change your number! Why I ought to…."

Kyle and Joey, who had came out with Will when they heard Summer yelling, stood there amazed. They watched as their mother was being ripped into by the yelling lady. They had _never _seen such a thing. They definitely never seen their mom looking so scared. She was actually hiding behind someone! Out of everyone, she picked a short person to hide from. Joey shook his head and reminded himself to teach his mom how to hide better. Even though, they didn't like this strange woman yelling at their mom, they did find it a little funny. Just a little funny.

"When did you get to Newport?" continued Taylor. "It had better been today, as in five minutes ago. If I find out you've been here longer, and you didn't contact me, I'll-"

"Mom?" Taylor's rant was cut short by a tugging on her shirt. She looked down to see her son. "Why are you yelling at the doctor lady?"

At the sound of her son's question, Taylor let out a big breath. She shot Alex a quick glare before answering her son. "Sorry, Will. Mommy's just had a stressful day. I'll stop."

"Okay," replied Will.

Alex had never been more grateful in her life. Those few minutes were the longest in her life. She looked around and saw that everyone seemed to have an amused expression on their faces, even her kids. Everyone except Taylor. The girl had managed to make her feel like an inch tall in a matter of seconds. She laughed lightly as she thought about how scared she was of Julie earlier. Julie wasn't the one to be feared. Taylor was.

At sound of Alex's laugh, Taylor immediately turned her attention back to the doctor. Very calmly, she asked, "Alex, will you please step from behind Summer so I can greet you properly?"

If Taylor thought she was going to leave her safety zone, then she was insane. However, everyone was looking at her expectantly. As much as she wanted to hide behind Summer, she knew she couldn't do it forever. Then, an idea hit her.

"Boys, will you come here for a second?" Alex knew that it was probably wrong to use her sons as shields, but her life was at stake here.

Kyle and Joey did as they were told and went up to their mother. Alex kept them in front of her as she stepped away from Summer and towards Taylor.

"Uh, Taylor, I'd like you to meet my sons, Kyle and Joey. Boys this is Will's mom, Mrs. Taylor Atwood." The last part came out as more of a question. She now knew they were married, but Alex wasn't sure if Taylor took Ryan's name or not. You just never know these days. Her two son's politely greeted Taylor.

Taylor returned the greeting. She knew what Alex was doing. She'd let the older girl have her peace, for now. She crouched down to Will's level. "Sweetie, remember how I told you that your middle name was from a special friend of mine?" Will nodded. "Well, this is her."

"Oh," Will replied. He wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to take that. "Cool. Does that mean I'll be a doctor too?"

Taylor smiled at her son's words. "If you want." The brunette stood back up and offered Alex a smile also. "So Alex, are you going to give me a hug or not?"

Alex took a gulp. She wasn't liking the way Taylor was smiling. Still, there were too many witnesses. She wouldn't do anything, not yet. "Of c-course," Alex replied, her voice breaking a little. She went and gave Taylor a hug, and Taylor returned it immediately. Although it was a little too tight for Alex's comfort.

"You are so going to get it, Kelly," Taylor whispered.

Alex broke the hug and smiled weakly. "Good to see you too."

"When are you leaving?" Taylor asked.

"Tomorrow."

"What?!" Taylor exclaimed a little too loudly. Then she calmed herself. "I mean, so soon?"

Alex laughed nervously. "Well, I've been here since Friday, and well the weekend's up now." When Alex saw Taylor's face, she instantly regretted her words.

"Been here since Friday, huh? Hmmm." Then an idea came to Taylor. "We should go shopping tomorrow before you leave. Just you and me."

Taylor's emphasis on the last part wasn't lost on Alex. "Uh…I don't know. Seth's kind of planned everything-"

"It's okay," interjected Seth. "I can't let you go for a few hours."

Alex wanted to wipe that smile of his face. "Thanks Seth. Then there's the whole issues of my sons-"

"I'll watch them," volunteered Marissa. Alex looked at Marissa with a hopeless look. Was everyone against her?

"See it all works out," Taylor said a little too happily. Marissa and Ryan can take the boys on a play date while we shop the morning away."

Without any other reasons to object, Alex agreed. "Sounds good."

"Great!" exclaimed Taylor. "I'll pick you up in the morning. Don't bother eating breakfast. We're doing that together too, and none of that, 'I don't eat breakfast' business."

"No, mom always eat breakfast," Kyle added. "She's says it's very important to do so."

"Wonderful," said Taylor. "Breakfast and shopping-I can't wait." Alex just smiled nervously. Everyone remained quiet as Taylor continued to stare down Alex.

"So I hope everyone's hungry," came Sandy's voice suddenly, saving Alex from Taylor's scrutiny. "Grab a plate cause the food is ready."

Everyone did as they were told. Alex made sure to seat in between her sons. She wanted to seat as far away from Taylor, but the raging brunette grabbed the seat right across from her. All during dinner Alex kept avoiding the girl's gaze. She also set out to sit as far away as possible from Marissa. She just didn't want to put herself in a situation where she'd be tempted.

The actual eating part of dinner went smoothly. Alex filled everyone in on what she's been doing. She told as much as she could without getting too personal. In turn, everyone touched base with about what's been going on in their lives. She learned that Summer and Taylor were both interior designers and that they owned a business together. The reason why they were late was because they had a last minute meeting with one of their clients. Ryan went into architect and has made quite a name for himself. She found that Julie's husband, Frank, seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. Alex could tell that the two were very much in love. She was happy for Julie.

After dinner, dessert was served. Everyone pretty much broke into two groups. One consisted of the older grown-ups, while the other consisted of everyone else. The only ones missing were Ryan and Taylor. The two had gone back home to drop off one of their cars so that they could go back home later together. They were gone a while and should be back soon.

"So Alex," Seth began. "I think Taylor's missed you."

Alex glared at Seth. She was still sitting between her sons. Taylor wasn't there, but she could be back any minute. She still sat as far as she could from Marissa. This wasn't missed by the lanky brunette, neither was Alex's distance during dinner. Marissa just didn't understand it. If anything, she thought that learning that Marissa wasn't married to Ryan would've brought them a little closer. Instead, it drove them further part, it drove Alex further away. Marissa hated that.

"You could've warned me you know," Alex said. "That goes for all of you." That was only followed by everyone laughing. "It's not funny!" protested Alex.

"But it is," declared Seth. "You should've seen yourself. You were such a beautiful sight."

"Ha ha," Alex said sarcastically. "I must admit that I am quite surprised. I didn't realize my leaving affected her so much."

"Alex, your leaving affected us all greatly," Summer said somberly.

Alex took in the seriousness of Summer's words. "Still, Taylor's reaction was more than I expected."

"That's because you don't realize how much you meant to her." came a voice. Everyone turned to see Ryan coming their way.

"Ryan," greeted Alex. Then she started to panic. "Where's Taylor?"

"She's taking a few minutes to calm herself down a little more," Ryan answered. Alex sighed in relief. She still had a few more minutes of safety left.

"You were saying Ryan," prodded Kaitlyn.

"Right. Alex, you were one of Taylor's best friends, if not the best. When she first moved here, it was _you_ that took the time to get to know her. You kind of took her under your wing. You introduced her to us. You encouraged her to pursue me, which we're both grateful for. While it took her a while to warm up to us, she instantly did so with you. Taylor told me that on the night that you introduced her to us, you kept checking up on her. You kept making sure she was alright, that we weren't giving her a hard time or leaving her out. You made her feel welcome, and you guys had only met a few hours before. She knew without a doubt that she had made a great friend that day. Your actions that night meant the world to Taylor. So when you left that night, without even saying goodbye, Taylor took it personally and rightfully so. She kept calling, but you never answered. Then, when you changed your number…" Ryan words trailed off as his face darkened a little. "I remember seeing her face when she realized what you had done. She was heartbroken. She was in pain, and I couldn't do anything about it. In that moment, I hated you, Alex. I hated what you had done to Taylor." Ryan paused again, and Alex noticed him sharing a look with Marissa. "Of course, I didn't really hate you. I just couldn't stand seeing Taylor that way. She didn't feel like she had lost a friend, a best friend. She felt like she had lost a sister."

Alex was speechless. Yes, her and Taylor were close, but the brunette had no idea Taylor had felt that way. "I don't know what to say."

"An apology would be a great start." Alex turned around and saw Taylor standing behind her. "But I could be wrong."

Alex walked towards Taylor and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, Taylor."

Taylor returned the hug. "I'll forgive you after our little shopping adventure tomorrow."

Alex laughed. "That sounds like a deal."

The rest of the evening went by fairly calmly. Alex was no longer getting yelled at, which was great for the brunette. Her sons had disappeared with Will, Ryan, and Seth into the pool house to play more video games. Alex was happy to see her sons had another pair of grown males to spend time with. Well, Ryan was grown. She wasn't so sure about Seth. They had Max and James back home, but Alex feared that her sons' lack of father would end up hurting them in the future. Things were good now, but Alex couldn't say the same when their teenage years roll around.

Everyone was having a great time, everyone but Marissa. She just couldn't seem to get Alex alone. The fact that the brunette as avoiding her didn't help matters. All night Alex had been able to escape Marissa, but that ends now. The brunette spotted the doctor with her sister. She quickly made her way towards them.

"Hey sis," Kaitlyn greeted as Marissa reached them.

"Hi," replied Marissa. "I don't mean to interrupt-"

"Interrupt away," Kaitlyn said. "Actually, you've got perfect timing. I've been meaning to pay my little nephew a visit, but this woman kept talking and talking. She keeps trying to impress me with her doctor talk. I tell her I'm not interested, but she doesn't seem to hear that."

"You can't blame me for trying," Alex said playfully.

"I'm just too hot for my own good," the youngest Cooper said seriously. "Alright, I'm off. You girls behave."

"I'm sorry," Marissa apologized after her sister left. "I should've waited."

"Don't worry about it," assured Alex. However, she wished that Kaitlyn was still with her. She wished anyone was still with her.

"I was just wondering if I could borrow you for a second?" Marissa asked tenatively.

Alex looked at Marissa. She meant to say no. She should say no, but looking at the girl now, she couldn't. Marissa looked as if she needed Alex to say yes, and so she did. Besides, she couldn't avoid the girl forever. "Okay."

Marissa chewed her bottom lip. "I was wondering if you could come with me somewhere."

"Where?"

"My place." Alex arched her eyebrow. "I don't live that far. I just want to show you something, then we can come back. It'll be an in and out kind of thing. It'll take 30 minutes at the most."

Alex remained silent as she debated her answer. "Marissa, I don't think-"

"Please Alex. I meant to bring it with me, but I forgot. Honest." Marissa really did forget.

Alex opened her mouth to deny Marissa's request, but looking at the way she was chewing her bottom lip and wringing the napkin in her hands, the brunette found that she couldn't. Still, she tried to find a way out of it. "My sons-"

"I already asked Seth look after them." Marissa laughed nervously. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep interrupting you. I just really want to show you something. I even asked the boys if it was okay if I stole you for a short while, and they said yes. They were having so much fun with Will that I probably could've asked to take you space and they would've said yes just so they could keep playing."

Alex smiled at that thought. "They probably would've. I seem to take second place to their fun sometimes."

Marissa smiled at Alex's words. "So..."

Alex couldn't think of anymore reasons that would require her to stay. "Okay, but we can't be gone long. Like you said, just a quick in and out kind of thing."

Marissa's face seemed to be a bit brighter. "Great! We'll take my car. I mean, if that's okay with you."

Alex nodded. "Let me just let them know that I'm going now."

"Okay. I'll, uh, wait in the car."

Alex went inside the pool house. "Hey guys, I'm going to go to Marissa's place real quick. I'll be back soon okay?"

"Okay," came everyone's answer, their attention still glued to the TV.

"Seth's in charge okay boys?"

"Okay," everyone answered again. Alex just shook her head. She turned around to make her way towards Marissa car.

"Hey Al! Hold on a sec!" Alex turned around to find Seth walking towards her. "I just wanted to say, uh, take your time, you know?"

"Seth-"

"I'm not implying anything. I just..." Seth really didn't mean anything by it. He just wanted the girls to have enough alone time to talk. He really wanted them back together, but he understood why that might not be possible. Still, he wanted them to be good friends. At the very least, he wanted them comfortable around each other again. "Just take your time, okay? I've got the boys taken care of so there's no rush."

"Okay," replied. "In case I forget later..." Alex leaned in and gave Seth a kiss on the check. "Thanks for my dinner party. I had a great time, with the exception of when I feared for my life. Again, you could've at least given me some heads up about Taylor."

Seth smiled sheepishly. "I know, but where's the fun in that?" Alex playfully shoved her friend before heading out.

Marissa's place was only about ten minutes away, but the silence between the girls made it seem like it went on for hours. Marissa opened the door and held it open to let Alex in. She went to turn on the lights. "So here's home. It's not much. I'd give you a tour, but I know you want to get back as soon as possible."

There was something in Marissa's voice when she said that last part. It almost sounded like she was hurt by the fact that Alex didn't want to stay longer. However, Alex chose to ignore it. Alex took a quick glance around the place. It was pretty spacious and a little fancy, but nothing over the top. It was decorated very well. Then again, with Marissa being into all things fashion related and having a best friend that was an interior designer, Alex shouldn't have been surprised. "So where is this thing you want to show me?"

Marissa's face fell a little at the sound of Alex's urgency, but she recovered quickly. "Um, follow me."

Alex followed Marissa down her seemingly long hallway. They stopped at the last room on her left. Alex followed Marissa in. The brunette doctor immediately knew it was Marissa's bedroom. The air even smelled like her.

"So this is my room. Again, nothing grand."

Alex was uncomfortable. She shouldn't be here to begin with and now she was in Marissa's room. "What are we doing in here?" Alex's question came out a little more harshly than she intended to.

Marissa winced inwardly at Alex's tone. "S-sorry. I guess I should've have told you that it was in here or just gotten it myself. I wasn't thinking." Marissa mumbled another apology as she walked towards her dresser. There was an array of pictures on it.

Alex mentally cursed herself as she watched Marissa pick out a picture. She hadn't meant to sound so harsh, or at all even. She just needed to get back to the Cohen's. She needed to be anywhere but here. Still, she felt bad for her tone. Her eyes caught sight of something. She decided to make the air lighter between. "Why is that a bookcase. Marissa Cooper has a bookcase in her bedroom." Alex walked towards it. "Look at that-it even has books in it. Well, they're notebooks, but I'll let that slide."

Marissa rolled her eyes at Alex's teasing, but she was also grateful for it. "I'll have you know that I do read."

"I'll believe it when I see it," teased Alex. "So what are in the notebooks?"

"Oh just some notes and thoughts."

"So their like diaries?"

"Journals," corrected Marissa. "They're like journals. I mean, they are journals."

Alex chuckled lightly. "So the secret to Marissa's inner thoughts and feelings are in these diaries, I mean journals."

"Ha ha. You're so funny."

"You should write a book, Cooper. I bet it'd sell millions."

Marissa rolled her eyes. "Right, cause my life is so interesting."

"Well, you are the daughter of Julie Cooper, or is it Atwood now?"

"It's still Cooper. We all agreed that changing it to Atwood would just be too weird."

"There's an understatement," agreed Alex. "Well, if you ever write a book, I'll read it."

"Yeah, you and only you. So are you done teasing me now?"

Alex pretended to think about it for a minute. "I guess so."

"Good." Although, Marissa had to admit, she missed joking around with Alex. However, there was something more important that she needed to do. "Here," Marissa said handing the brunette a picture.

Alex took it and looked at it. "I don't understand."

"I look at that picture everyday," explained Marissa. "Sometimes hours at a time. I've even fallen asleep holding it. I've memorized every single detail."

Alex was still a little confused. "I don't..."

"You know what I think every time I look at it? I think about how absolutely gorgeous you look. So angelic. So perfect. When you mentioned that I never once said anything about how you looked that night, I felt terrible. I relived that night in mind so many times to verify the truth in your words, well as much as I could bear anyway. Everyday I look at the picture and everyday I admire your lips, the way that dress brings out your eyes, how perfect your hair is, how perfect you are. I guess...I just wanted you to know, wanted you to believe, that I really did think you looked absolutely amazing. It kills me to know that you've thought otherwise all this time."

Alex returned her gaze to the picture in her hand. It was of her and Marissa at her birthday party sharing a dance. "Who took this?"

"Taylor. Apparently she took it before my dad decided to cut in and well, you know how the rest of the evening went. Somehow she got a shot when we actually looked like we were having a good time, like a happy couple. I was actually surprised when she gave me this. I wasn't exactly her favorite person after everything went down. I'm still not."

Alex looked up to find Marissa looking at her floor, hands in her back pocket, and chewing her bottom lip. The Marissa she knew was usually confident. Even when she wasn't, she could pull off the air of being so. Now, every time Alex looked at the lanky brunette, she saw someone who was unsure of herself. She saw someone that was hesitant. She saw someone who was nervous. She saw someone who was broken. For whatever reason, Alex felt a sudden, strong urge to be the to put the confidence back into Marissa's step, to fix her broken ex. Alex physically shook her head. It wasn't her place to want such things.

While she was shaking her head something caught her eye. There in the corner of the room was a surfboard, _the_ surfboard. Without even realizing it, Alex walked towards it. She let her finger gently graze it. "I can't believe you kept this."

Marissa went to join Alex. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I have?"

"It doesn't look like you've used it."

"That's cause I haven't. My surfing teacher went MIA." Both girls shared a sad smile. "I'll admit that I didn't quite get it at first. I mean, I liked it and all, but that one lesson you gave me didn't exactly take. Then, I figured you were just going to give it another try. With my own board, I wouldn't put your board in danger again."

Alex smiled at the memory that conjured in her head. Marissa just couldn't seem to get the hang of it. Alex tried letting her off the hook by blaming it all on the beer they drunken the night before, but Marissa wasn't having it. Eventually, the brunette got so frustrated that she took it out on Alex's board. She stomped, kicked, and punched it as hard as she could. Marissa didn't pose any real threat to the board, but it still wasn't easy for Alex to see her girlfriend beating up on one of her most prized possession. It was her baby, second only to Marissa.

Marissa studied Alex. Given the laughing smile on her face, she figured she was reliving that eventful day. Marissa smiled herself. She loved Alex's smile. However, Marissa's smile faded. "But then my dad explained the real reason why. He told me about what you did, and about Hawaii."

Alex's smile soon fell also. She looked up to meet Marissa's eyes.

"You should've told me, Alex."

"I didn't see the point in doing so."

"Really? Cause I can think of some good ones." Alex just shrugged her shoulders.

"I saw how happy you were, how grateful you were...towards Ryan. I just..."

"Alex, you can't honestly blame me for that. He brought me my father, whom I hadn't seen in years! At least, I thought he did. _You_ let me think it was Ryan, when it was you."

"It's just...I don't know. I couldn't help but believe that the fact that it was Ryan was what made it that much more special. It made you that much more happy. Had I told you the truth, then you wouldn't have reacted the same. It would've been different. So again, what was the point?"

"Of course I would've reacted differently! Alex, I spent those last couple of weeks thinking I was too late, thinking that I had already lost you. No, we didn't officially break up, but I wondered if you thought we were. I wondered if you acted like we were. All my fears intensified when you stopped calling. I knew that you weren't mine anymore. As I said, I was supposed to make things right with everyone first-to show you that I was truly changing. After the second day without a call from you, all I wanted to do was skip that part and just go to you. I couldn't lose you, Alex. Looking back now, that's exactly what I should've done. Summer somehow convinced me to keep going with the plan. She said that you were probably just giving me some space. I didn't really believe it, but Summer seemed so determined so I kept at it. Plus, I wasn't ready to really accept that there was no more you and me. So I put on a brave face for everyone and continued with our original plan. However, every time I was alone, that face faltered. It was during those moments that I found it hardest to convince myself that I still had a shot. So yes, I would've reacted differently. I would've been _more_ happier. You bringing me my father not only would've shown me how sweet and thoughtful you were, it would've also given me the hope that I was desparately searching for. It would've let me known I still had a chance with you. Even if the night still ended with you walking away from me, I still would've had hope. I would've ran after you and fought. I know that I should've done that regardless, but seeing you in Jodie's embrace without that sense of hope...I just gave up. I finally accepted that I wasn't the one you wanted. Perhaps it wasn't Jodie either, but it definitely wasn't me. Still, it never crossed my mind that you would actually leave Newport." Marissa fell silent for a bit as the memory of that night came back to her. She recalled how completely broken she had felt reading Alex's note. The brunette quickly shook her head free of those thoughts.

"So I say again that my reaction would've indeed been different, but in all the right ways-in all the ways that I needed it to be."

Alex let Marissa's words sink in. She felt herself getting teary-eyed, but she didn't want Marissa to see. So she walked across the room and looked out a window as she spoke. "I stopped calling cause I saw you at the beach with Ryan. I didn't necessarily jump to conclusions, but it was still hurtful to see. There I was miserable without you, and you were all smiles with your arm looped around Ryan's." Alex felt a tear rolling down her cheek. "It wasn't the best feeling in the world thinking that I was the only one hurting."

"Alex, I was just trying to patch things up with him," exclaimed Marissa. She, too, was on the edge of tears. "I was just so happy that he was so forgiving. It was one less person that kept me away from you. It was completely innocent, I swear!"

Alex turned and gave Marissa a small smile before looking out the window again. "I believe you now. It's just back then I didn't know, and well...that's why I stopped calling. I never planned on leaving Newport. That thought never crossed my mind. Seeing you happy because of Ryan, again, just stripped me of any hope. I guess we both gave up that night. I saw Jodie on my way out, and I just wanted to get as far away as possible. Before I knew it, I was telling Jodie to take me back to LA. She managed to talk some sense into me though. When we got back to the apartment, she convinced to stop packing long enough to think things through. She told me not to leave unless I was absolutely sure, unless I tried everything I could try. She convinced me to wait cause she, herself, was convinced that you'd make some kind of effort to reach me. I consented, and we waited. Hours passed and you neither called nor showed up. That was all the proof I needed." Alex felt another tear rolling down he check. She went to wipe it away. "I-I was so devastated that I couldn't even bring myself to pack. I just took whatever I could fit in a bag and left."

By now, Marissa's tears were flowing as well. She got up and walked over to Alex. She placed her hand on the small of her back, causing Alex to jump a little. "I'm so sorry. The image of you and Jodie stayed in my mind. No matter how much I drank, I couldn't shake it. Then, it hit me-you were crying. I hadn't seen you cry in years. An overwhelming sense of fear and panic attacked me. I went back to the apartment as quickly as I could, but I was already too late. I'm sorry, Alex. I-"

"It's okay," interrupted the doctor as she turned around to face Marissa. "Like I said, I think we both gave up that night."

Both girls stood there just taking in the sight of one another. Eventually, it dawned on both of them just how close they were standing. At some point Marissa realized her hand, that was once on the small of Alex's back, was now lightly on Alex's hip. Being so close to the brunette and touching her, as minimal as it was, was causing Marissa's heart to beat wildly. Her pain and sadness was temporary replaced with the want, the need, to kiss Alex. It took everything she had to stop herself. She finally had Alex back in her life. They were only friends, but still. Did Marissa really want to risk losing her a second time?

Alex saw the struggle in Marissa's eyes. She was pretty certain what the struggle was because Alex was having the same struggle. Being this close to Marissa was affecting Alex too. Still, she held herself back. She had worked too hard, come to far, to mess things up now. She was a wreck when her and Marissa ended all those years ago. She couldn't go through that again. She wouldn't put her sons through that.

The air around them was getting thicker by the second, and the brunette doctor knew that if she didn't leave now, she may just wind up breaking her already fragile heart...again. "I should go." Alex started to move away, but her actions were halted when she felt Marissa's lips crashing on her own. Alex should've pushed the girl off her. She should've tore herself away from Marissa. Instead, she found herself kissing Marissa back. Seeing Marissa in tears and hearing the pain in her voice tore Alex up. She could feel a need in Marissa's heated kisses. She hated seeing the brunette so defeated and beaten. She wanted to ease the girl's pain, and that's what Alex convinced herself she was doing as she returned Marissa's kisses with her own passionate ones.


	18. Healthy and Fertile

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**So once again this chapter was getting too long, so I broke it into parts. I kind of broke it off a not so great place, but I just couldn't decide where. Thanks again for all of your reviews. I wish I could find a way to repay you, but all I have to offer is a very lame attempt at a sex scene. I apologize for it. I'm just not good at it. I thought about skipping it all together, but I had already devoted so much time towards it that I just put it in regardless.**

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A moan escaped Marissa when she finally felt Alex kissing her back. Alex wasn't the only surprised by Marissa's action. The lanky brunette hadn't planned on kissing Alex. She wanted to, yes, but actually doing it was a whole different story. However, when she saw that Alex was turning away from her again, Marissa couldn't have it. So she kissed her.

The moment her lips came in contact with Alex, Marissa wondered how she ever survived so long without them. Another moan was heard when she felt Alex's tongue on her bottom lip. Without hesitation, Marissa opened her mouth, and as their tongues touched, Marissa's moans were joined by Alex's.

Her mind kept warning her to stop, but Alex's body told her a different command. Those warnings multiplied when the brunette felt Marissa slowly pushing her backwards, to her bed no doubt. But Alex didn't care. She welcomed it, encouraged it. She used one hand to run through Marissa's hair. Alex had forgotten how soft it was. The other hand was placed on the small of her back, pushing the girl closer to her.

Needing air, Alex eventually broke the kiss, but her lips never left Marissa. She kissed along her jaw line, and when Marissa threw her head back, Alex kissed the newly exposed skin before returning to Marissa's lips.

"Mmm," moaned Marissa. It seemed like it was taking them forever to reach her bed, but eventually they did. Carefully, Marissa lowered Alex onto it. Without breaking the kiss, Alex was able to scoot herself onto the bed more so that her whole body was laying on.

Suddenly, Marissa pulled herself away. She tucked a strand of hair behind Alex's ear as she remained hovered over her.

"What is it?" Alex asked quietly. Marissa's quietness was making her nervous,

Marissa smiled. "Nothing. I just wanted to look at you. You're just so beautiful."

Alex felt her heart fluttering at Marissa's words. She used her hands to guide Marissa's face back down to hers. However, instead of kissing her lips, Marissa kissed her cheek. She slowly kissed her way down Alex's neck.

Alex sucked in a breath when she felt Marissa's hand on her bare stomach. "Marissa," she sighed.

Marissa smiled into her kisses. She loved hearing her name that way. She left Alex's neck and made her way towards her stomach. She raised the shirt higher and planted kisses on the brunette's belly while one hand cupped her breast.

That seemed to do it for Alex. She pulled Marissa back up and started to kiss her fiercely. She flipped them over so that she was on top. She pulled them up so that they were in a sitting position. She reached for the hem of Marissa's shirt and pulled it right off. Alex was momentarily stunned by the sight of a shirtless Marissa. Instinctively, she reached for her breast. She cupped it gently before pushing the bra aside and replacing her hand with her mouth.

"Oh god!" moaned Marissa. Her nails dug into Alex's side as she felt the girls tongue swirling around her nipple. Alex's hand was on her other breast, gently fondling it. Marissa threw back her head once more when she felt Alex take her nipple between her teeth. One of her hand was clenching the sheets, while the other was lost in the brunette's hair. Needing to feel Alex's lips on hers again, Marissa pulled Alex upward and started to kiss her passionately. Her tongue wasted no time in invading the doctor's mouth. The two girls moaned as their tongues caressed one another.

Needing to feel Alex's bare skin, Marissa quickly took off the girl's shirt, causing a break in their kissing. Alex's attempt to reconnect their lips was halted by her own moaning. Marissa had free one of her breasts and was now devouring it with her mouth.

A soft whimper escaped Alex's lips. It had been a long time since her body had been ambushed by so much pleasure. It was almost painful, but the doctor would take it gladly. Kissing Marissa, touching her, was something that Alex had missed immensely. She just didn't know how much until now.

As Marissa's mouth continued its assault on her breast, Alex felt Marissa taking off both of their bras. Then, she was being lowered back onto the bed. As soon as Alex was laying fully on the bed, Marissa abandoned her breast and started kissing her way down the brunette's stomach once more. She didn't stop until she reached Alex's pants. Marissa looked up to meet her gaze. This was what she wanted, but she wanted Alex to want it too. Alex nodded her permission and Marissa freed the girl of her pants instantly. The lanky brunette took a minute to admire the view before her. Alex laid there with nothing but her panties. Marissa couldn't remember the last time she'd seen anything so sexy, so beautiful. She reached out and gently traced the hem of those panties, causing Alex's stomach muscles to contract. Then, slowly Marissa took off the brunette's underwear and tossed them aside. A smiled spread across her face as she met Alex's gaze. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this."

Alex returned her smile. "I may have a good idea. You know, I don't think it's fair that I'm the only one naked." Marissa's smile grew wider as she quickly reached for her pants. Her actions were soon stopped by Alex's hand on hers. Marissa looked at Alex with questioning eyes. Alex just continued to smile. "Let me."

Unlike Marissa, Alex disposed of Marissa's pants and her underwear quickly. The two girls gazed at one another before crashing their lips, their bodies together. An almost primeval moan was heard when their two naked bodies touched each other again for the first time in eight long years. Marissa broke the kiss when air was becoming an issue. She didn't want to waste anymore time. She left a trail of kisses down Alex's body, and without any warning, she gave Alex's throbbing center one long lick.

"Marissa!"

Alex's surprised moan caused Marissa to chuckle a little. She licked Alex again and again. While doing so, Marissa brought a finger to play with Alex's opening.

This drove Alex even crazier. "Marissa…please." That was all the encouragement Marissa needed. She added another finger and plunged deep into Alex. "Oh god, Marissa don't stop!" The brunette showed no sign of stopping. While her fingers were pumping in and out of Alex, she took her clit in her mouth started sucking on it. Marissa felt Alex's walls contracting around her fingers and knew the girl was close. She added a third finger and pumped even faster.

"That's it Marissa. I'm close…so close," panted Alex. She clenched the sheets with both her hands as she felt a tingling feeling start to invade her body. It was a matter of seconds now. "Marissaaaaa!" Alex shouted as she came.

Marissa had to use her free hand to hold Alex down when she came. Instead of removing her mouth and fingers, Marissa kept them in their place as Alex rode out her orgasm. When the lanky brunette was done licking up all of Alex's juices, she crawled up the girl's bodied and kissed her deeply. Alex instantly wrapped her arms around Marissa and moaned as she tasted herself on the brunette's lips.

"I'm a little disappointed," Marissa said when she broke the kiss. Alex frowned. She opened her mouth to speak, but Marissa beat her to it. "You used to be able to last so much longer than that."

Alex's frown dissipated. She flipped them over. "Let's see how long you last," Alex said as she made her way down south.

--

The two brunettes laid in each other's arms contently. They had been silent for a while now, but neither of them minded. Alex had her upper body on Marissa, with an arm draped over her stomach, while her leg was entangled with the brunette's. She could hear the girl's heartbeat and found it to be very

soothing. Marissa had one arm snuggly around Alex. One might say it was a bit too snug, but for Marissa's sake, it needed to be that. She was afraid that if she didn't hold on tight enough, somehow Alex would slip away. Silly, maybe, but Marissa waited too long for this moment. She was nowhere near ready to let go yet. Her other hand was absently stroking Alex's arm.

"So a doctor?"

Alex smiled. "Mmm-hmm."

"How did that come to be?"

Alex got up just enough look Marissa in the eyes. "It's all thanks to you actually." Alex saw the look of confusion spread across Marissa's face. She offered a smile before she to went rest her head back on the brunette's chest. "It was those last minute, all-nighter cram sessions we had, specifically the ones for Biology. I don't know. I mean, I had already learned it while I was still in school, but relearning it with you…it just seemed to stick with me. I found myself fascinated with it. It's really amazing when you think about it. The way we reproduce, how our heart, our fragile heart is our body's supplier of blood, DNA encoding…it's all just so much! Our body undergoes so many things just for us to be able to wake up the next morning, and it's never-ending! We go to sleep, but our bodies just keep going. I mean, our skin alone is very enthralling. The elasticity of it-it's our largest organ, you know…the many different shade it comes, and that's barely the beginning of it. There's so much going in our skin alone! It's so much tougher than you think, which is good because it's the body's first line of defense. Yet, it's sensitive. It tells us what's hot, what's cold, what feels bad…" Alex let her words trail off as she moved upward to give Marissa a quick, but passionate kiss. She went back to her former position and added, "…and what feels great. So becoming a doctor seemed like an obvious choice."

Marissa couldn't help but smile. She could hear the fascination, the awe, and the slight giddiness in Alex's voice. She was so happy that the doctor felt so passionate about her profession. Then, her smile faltered as memories of those cramming sessions came to mind. Almost always, it would be a night when Alex was working. She would have a test the next day, a test on something that she knew nothing about. The first time truly was an accident. She just simply forgot about the test. Then, the night before Marissa had freaked out, making many complaints how she'd never be able to study everything. This was one of those rare nights when Alex wasn't working so she has witnessed the whole thing. When Marissa threw down her books and said she'd just fail the test, Alex wouldn't hear of it. She spent that whole night, and until the time she dropped Marissa off at school, studying with her. They reviewed notes, read too many chapters, and Alex would ask questions here and there. It didn't matter what it would take. Alex was going to do everything she could to help Marissa pass her test, and Marissa did. She got a B, but it was just a couple points shy of an A. Alex had wanted to take her out to dinner do something remotely special, but she couldn't get out of work. Instead, Marissa had gone home to find her test on their refrigerator and a bouquet of roses.

So that's how the cram sessions started. Marissa's forgetfulness was still accidental the first few times, but they eventually become quite the opposite. Yes, Marissa felt bad for keeping Alex up all night, especially on nights when she had to work, but it was Marissa's loophole. She rationalized that it was her only way to spend time with Alex without giving her a reason to hang on. Marissa would be allowed to act like she enjoyed Alex's company, which she did, without Alex thinking that there was still a chance for them. Alex would simply view it as helping Marissa with her schooling, something that was extremely important to the once-blonde. She wouldn't read anything else into it. Marissa could be a bitch without actually being a bitch.

Alex looked up and found a troubled-looking Marissa. "What's wrong?"

Alex's question brought Marissa out her thoughts. She met the brunette's eyes only to find them full of concern. Marissa smiled sadly. Even after everything, Alex was still so caring of her. "You care too much, you know? Especially in the case of me. All of those last minute study sessions-you shouldn't have helped me. You should've told me 'tough shit' or 'too bad' or anything of the like."

"Marissa, it was school. That's not something you want to mess up."

"Well, maybe you should've let me," interjected Marissa. "Maybe then, I would've learned."

Alex lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to fail, and I didn't want you to do all that studying alone-"

"But I should've!" Marissa exclaimed. "Alex you didn't come home until three in the morning, if not later. You weren't supposed to help me. It wasn't your concern. It was mines. However, instead of sleeping like you should've, you stayed up all night with me. You did that knowing full well that you'd have little or no sleep before you had to go back to work. If it wasn't that, it was me cooped up in your office studying with you coming in to help every chance you got. Then when it was time to close up, we'd head home only to continue our studying. You shouldn't have done that, Alex."

Alex sat up, keeping her eyes away from Marissa's. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. I-I didn't…I only wanted to help." Alex heard Marissa give a sigh of frustration. She figured that angered the brunette and got up to leave to give her some space.

Marissa saw Alex moving away from her and quickly placed a gentle hand on the girl to stop her. "Don't…don't leave me. Please."

"I've upset you-"

"No! You've done no such thing. I'm just angry at myself. My words, they aren't coming out right." Marissa crawled on top of Alex placed her head with the girl's shoulder. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry I did that to you. I should've told you no. I should've told you to sleep and get the rest that you deserved and needed. I knew that you were tired, but you put that aside for me. I shouldn't have let you done that. So I'm sorry for that." Marissa leaned back to look into Alex's eyes. "And thank you for that. There's no doubt that I would've failed that year if it weren't for you. And thank you for putting my test on the fridge." Marissa saw Alex blushing a little.

"I know that's such kid thing to do, but I couldn't help myself. I was just so happy you passed and so proud of you."

Marissa shook her head. "Don't feel embarrassed. It actually meant a lot to me. I never had anyone do that for me before. And the roses…they were gorgeous. Thank you." Marissa gave Alex a quick kiss. She took in a breath before she asked her next question. "What happened between you and Jodie? I mean, obviously you guys got back together, which is fine. It's just…you're no longer with her, and I…" Marissa stopped herself when she noticed the Alex's pained expression. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business. You don't have to tell me." Marissa lowered her heard and whispered another apology.

Alex felt conflicted. She wanted to tell Marissa, she just wasn't sure if she was strong enough. Somehow, she found the courage. "First of all, we didn't get back together." Marissa's head shot up in curiosity. Alex smiled at her response and took one of her hands in her own and started tracing it. "When Jodie came to visit me, us, all those years ago. She was already pregnant. She was about three months along. Surprising, huh? Apparently, that was the reason for her visit. However, with everything being the way it was, she didn't tell me. She put that little bit of info aside and decided to be there for me instead. Looking back now, I should've been able to pick up on something. Maybe not that she was pregnant, but something. She never drank while she was there. I'd offer, but she refused. I thought it weird at the time, but I would just put in the back of my head. That should've tipped me off right away. I was too caught up in my own world, in my own problems, to realize that something was up with her." Alex scoffed. "Some best friend I was."

"Hey, don't blame yourself," comforted Marissa. "I was the reason for you problems. If anyone's to blame, it was me."

Alex looked away from Marissa. "Still, I should've picked up on it. Even when we got back to LA, she didn't tell me. She was still looking after me, trying to help fix my broken heart." Marissa felt her heart ache at Alex's words.

Alex laughed humorlessly. "When she finally told me, she was actually scared to do so. She thought it was going to be selfish on her part, but it was reaching a point where she couldn't really hide it anymore. So when she told me I felt so small and like crap. Jodie had been there for me, and I made her felt like a selfish person for sharing such joyous news. I apologized for being so stupid and I took her dinner to celebrate. From that day on I was always there for her. I knew I couldn't do that unless I let go of the past, let go of you. So I did. At least, I was on my way to doing that. Jodie needed me at 100 percent, and she deserved no less. I was at her side at every doctor appointment. We shopped for baby things together, and I was with her in the delivery room." Alex stopped as she relived the memory of Joey's birth.

"Holding Joey in my arms," Alex continued, "words can't describe it. I just know that for the first time, I felt that everything would be fine again, that I would be fine again. He's so much like his mom that it's scary sometimes. Living with one Jodie was already a tall order."

"Wow," Marissa wasn't sure what else to say. "How? I mean, I know how someone gets pregnant, but how?"

"That was actually one of my first questions. To my surprise, she told me it was by a guy."

"No way!" exclaimed Marissa. "That's just…"

"Insane, right? Her being with a guy…that made me believe anything was possible."

Marissa shared a laugh with Alex when a horrible thought came to her. "Oh my god. She wasn't-"

Alex knew what Marissa was getting at and quickly cut her off by shaking her head. Truth be told, she thought the same thing too. "No, it was purely consensual. Apparently, she's always wanted kids, a fact she kept from me. She felt it was time. While the thought of being with a guy repulsed her, she wanted to have at least one kid the old-fashioned way. She figured the sacrifice would be worth it."

Marissa was still a bit stunned. "How did she choose the guy?"

"She," laughed Alex, "she actually asked around. She kept it in her circle. She wasn't too picky. He just couldn't be ugly or into drugs. He always had to be extremely healthy and fertile. She didn't want to have to sleep with a guy more than once." Alex paused as she let out another little laugh. "She was actually given a referral, a friend of a friend kind of thing. She told him flat out what she wanted from the sex, that it was purely business for her. As long as she was great in bed, the guy didn't care. It doesn't sound like it, but according to Jodie, he was actually a decent guy. He had no objection to signing away his parental rights."

"I just don't get it."

"Get what?"

"I know Jodie said he was a good guy and all, but still. How can someone just go on living knowing that you have a kid out there? How good of a guy could he really be if he if could go on living knowing that?"

"I see where you're coming from, but I'm sure he had his reasons. Maybe he had a shitty childhood. Maybe his dad walked on him, and he was afraid he'd be the same way. But maybe his want to help someone out was stronger than that fear. He did ask Jodie for visiting rights. I mean, he never made her put it in writing or anything. He just wanted to know if he could see the kid one day. It could be from afar. He just wanted to see what he had a hand in creating. He assured Jodie that he wasn't planning to do so anytime soon, just somewhere down the road. Jodie agreed. She said that actually liked the fact the he wanted to do that. So that's how Joey came to be. Two years later, Kyle joined us. That time around Jodie used in-vitro."

"And you guys never got back together?" questioned Marissa. "Not even a friends with benefit kind of thing?"

Alex shook her head. "We just didn't feel that way about each other anymore. I admit the topic did come up. Neither one of us were seeing anybody and well, that can take its toll on someone. However, in the end we decided against. At some point emotions would be involved. With a baby on the way, we just didn't want to risk it. _I_ didn't want to risk hurting or angering Jodie and have her shut me out of the baby's life. We decided to raise the child as ours, be we were never together."

"So then," Marissa chewed her bottom lip as she hesitated, "what _did_ happen between the two of you?"


	19. Mistake

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: I make a reference to a broadway show. I don't know if it was actually playing in that time frame, but we're going to pretend. Also, I know Alex's whole college thing is a bit far-fetched, but again, let's just pretend.**

**shassy25**: So I don't think my ending is not a cliff hanger this time around, but I can't guarantee it's a good one.

**bigblusky**: Here's more. Things will continue to become clearer for the girls, but are they together? Read on.

**orgy123**: I'm glad you liked my lame attempt at a sex scene. The question about Jodie will be answered in this update.

**andygirl007**: Everyone loves a tease every so often, right?

**Raydiant**: I hope you'll continue to want more after _this_ chapter.

**vero**: I welcome the questions, but will you like the answers?

**WonderousPlaceForAnEcho**: Tasteful? I appreciate that. However, I'm thinking I won't attempt another sex scene anytime soon. I'm glad it's been believable up to this point. I'm thinking this chapter won't really fall into that catergory.

**SeventhTheory**: Well, here's Alex's answer, and I can't wait for your response.

**Also, thanks to any silent readers out there!**

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Alex's finger momentarily stilled on Marissa's hand. She wasn't sure if she was ready to tell Marissa. As much as she wished it wasn't, Jodie was nothing but a painful memory. Alex hated that Jodie was reduced to that. They were best friends. They welcomed two sons together. Yet, all Alex could focus on was the bad. Jodie was a very sensitive topic, and thinking about her tended to leave Alex feeling weak and vulnerable. She wasn't sure if letting Marissa see her that way was the best thing to do. Still, maybe if she talked about it, it wouldn't be so painful anymore. Maybe she'd be to get over it and think about the good times she shared with Jodie instead. Alex sighed. Maybe.

Hearing Alex's sigh, Marissa knew it was a touchy subject. She always figured it was, but she was beginning to realize that maybe it was more so than she imagined. "You don't have to tell me."

"No, it's okay." Alex closed her eyes and mentally prepared herself. When she opened them, she saw Marissa looking at her with concern. "When I left Newport, we went to LA first. We didn't stay there long. Somehow we decided to move to New York. I just wanted to get as far away as I could. Changing coasts seemed like a great idea to me. That's where Joey was born actually. Plus, somehow I got accepted to NYU. I think that was pretty much the deciding factor."

"NYU?" Marissa felt herself getting lost. "I don't understand."

"I kind of…while were still together, I took my GED and passed. When I was still going to school, my grades weren't too shabby."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Alex smiled sadly. "I wanted to. I truly did, and I planned to, but…things weren't the greatest between us. I hardly ever saw you. I was kind of waiting for the right moment, but it never came." Alex shrugged her shoulders. "After a while, it didn't seem that important anymore."

"Of course it was important!" contradicted Marissa. She cupped Alex's cheek. "It's huge, Alex. I'm sorry I didn't give you the chance to tell me. God I was so horrible towards you. I don't understand why you didn't just break up with me."

"I loved you," Alex said simply, not meeting Marissa's eyes. "And it's okay. Don't blame yourself. Besides, to you I was just a little high school drop out. No point in changing that view. I mean, I didn't even really plan on doing anything with it at the time."

Something about Alex's words sounded familiar to Marissa. Then, it hit her. "The dinner."

"Hmm?"

"The last time all of us ate together…that's what Summer and Taylor meant about you applying to college too. Then I said…" Marissa turned Alex's face so that they were looking at one another. "That's not how I thought of you, Alex."

"It's okay. I mean, I was-"

"No! I know that I referred to you as a drop out, but I didn't think of you that way. I sure as hell didn't think any less of you because of that. Did I hate that fact? Yes, but not for the reasons you think. I hated that fact because it would probably mean you'd have to work even harder in life, and you had already worked too hard as it was. I just…I didn't care about that, Alex. I mean, in a way, I'm glad that you dropped out of school. It brought you to me." Marissa waited for Alex to say something, but the brunette remained silent. Marissa sighed. "SO you told Summer and Taylor?"

"Yes, and no," replied Alex. "They were the ones that helped me study. I wanted it to be a surprise for you, but well…"

"You applied all the in New York?" Marissa smiled sadly. "Maybe you were planning on leaving me after all."

"No! I applied in California too. I knew that New York was an option for you, in case Berkley didn't work out. So I applied there just in case. I didn't really apply to any major colleges, but I did NYU for the fun out it. I don't know. Maybe they needed a percentage of the not-so-bright, but willing to learn type in their student population."

"You _are_ bright, Alex. Don't ever say otherwise." The two girls remained silent for a while. Marissa took that time to try and let things sink in. She had wanted Alex to think she didn't want to be with her anymore, but she didn't want the girl thinking that she thought so lowly of her. Marissa closed her eyes. She had damaged and hurt the girl beneath in so many ways, in _too_ many ways.

Alex noticed Marissa closing her eyes. When she didn't open them back up, Alex questioned, "Are you okay?"

Marissa shook her head as she felt herself starting to cry. "I was so awful towards you. I hurt you. I was verbally abusive. I put a major dent in your self-esteem. I-I…"

"Hey," Alex said soothingly as she wiped a tear away, "it's in the past. Like I said, you're the reason why I am who I am today."

"I'll never be able to make all that up to you," sniffed Marissa.

"There's nothing to make up for. So…do I get to finish my story or do you have more interruptions?"

Despite herself, Marissa laughed. "None for now. Please continue."

"Jodie's maternal side was kicked into overdrive, and we decided a change of scenery would be best for Joey. New York City was great and all, but we wanted a safer place to raise him. Granted LA might not have been the most ideal place either, but it was home. We wanted to do it as soon as possible. We figured the younger Joey was, the easier the move would be for him. The only problem was school. Jodie didn't want me transferring because of her, but I wouldn't hear of it. I finished out my third year and transferred out. Joey was only two, almost three. I came back to LA, and finished my last year of undergraduate study. That's where I met Max. You remember him, right?"

Marissa nodded. "He didn't like me very much."

"He's just protective. No need to worry. The minute I found out his dad owned a bar, I hounded him for a job. Before then I had been doing odd jobs, mostly school-related jobs. I'd take whatever I could fit with my class schedule. Jodie worked too, but I didn't want her working as much. We argued about it a lot, but I usually won. Yeah, so then came med school. I never want to repeat that experience." Alex paused and laughed a little. "I'm sorry. I'm rambling and getting off subject."

"No, please ramble. I have a lot to catch up on."

Alex smiled at Marissa's eagerness. "About three years ago, we took a family vacation to New York. It was a blast. We took the boys to the zoo, rode the subway too many times…it was fun. Jodie and I had tickets to go see a Broadway show. The hotel we stayed at offered babysitting services so we had them watch the boys. It was a great show. _The Lion King_. Very entertaining. On our way back, we wanted to walk around the bit. New York City is quite a sight at night, particularly Time Square. It's so bright and festive, and alive. It's just gorgeous. The streets were so crowded. It seemed even more crowded that night, but that just might be an exaggeration I added to make me feel not as bad. Jodie and I were amongst a crowd, waiting to cross the street. Someone was shoving someone. It got out of hand and…and…"

Alex had tears in her eyes and broke Marissa's heart to see them. She pulled the girl in for a hug. "Shhh. It's okay, Alex. You don't have to finish."

Alex held on to Marissa. "N-no, I want to. I h-have to. People were getting angry and at some point someone got shoved into me. It caused me crash into Jodie, wh-which…" Tears were now flowing down Alex's face. Her body was starting to tremble, causing Marissa to hold her tighter. "Sh-she was propelled into the streets…into oncoming traffic…and she…she…"

"It's okay." soothed Marissa. She rubbed Alex's back.

"I should've caught her. I should've-"

"It wasn't your fault, Alex."

"But I could've done something! I just stood there while a car collided into her. I-"

Marissa pulled back a little and placed a hand on Alex's mouth. "Don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. Jodie would be pissed at you if she knew you've been blaming yourself."

Surprisingly, Alex laughed a little. "Yeah." Then her smile faltered. Kyle was only three and Joey was on his way to turning five. They were so you, too young to lose their mom. It wasn't fair!"

"No," agreed Marissa, "but they still had you, their other mom.

Alex scoffed. "Barely. I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want them to forget Jodie, but would bringing up her memories might've been too much for them? It was for me, but I wanted to keep her memory alive. That's why I dyed my hair. Joey came to me one night, and asked if he could dye his hair blonde. I asked him why, and he said that I was his only mom now, and he wanted to look more like me-like a real family. Joey's a spitting image of Jodie, and I couldn't have that altered in any way. So I offered to dye my hair darker, so we could look more alike." Alex smile at the memory. "He seemed so fascinated by that idea. He likes to think that it was his idea to do it. He said that I'd look much better as brunette."

"He's right…sorta." Marissa took a strand of Alex's hair and twirled it. "Brunette definitely suits you, but either color looks great on you. I honestly don't know which I like more."

Alex smiled. "For Joey's sake, let's go with the brunette." Then Alex's smile faded once more. "Jodie's death was just the beginning though. Her parents sued for custody. It took me completely by surprise. They were always so supportive of us, of me. I never thought they'd do that to me. They claimed I was too young and inexperienced to take care of two boys by myself. They said with school, I wouldn't be able to spend enough time with them. For a while there, I honestly thought I was going to lose my boys. Then, my mom stepped in."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah. Another surprise, but this time it was a good surprise. We were able to reconcile a little, but there was still distance between us. She somehow got Jodie's parents to drop the claim. To this day, she won't tell me how she did that. I asked why she helped me, and she told me it was because I was her daughter. She saw how distraught I was at Jodie's funeral. She may have not liked the fact that we used to be together, but she knew how much Jodie meant to me. She said I had already lost enough. She wouldn't allow me to lose my sons, her grandsons too. She let us stay with her while I finished school and volunteered to watch the boys whenever I needed her to. She still does on nights that I bartend. I'm forever grateful towards her, but the custody battle still took it's toll on me. It still scares me to think how close I came to losing my boys."

"They're yours, Alex," assure Marissa. "No one's going to try to take them away again. Are they still in your boys' lives, Jodie's parents?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah. I was angry with them, but I was more hurt than anything. Still, I couldn't bring myself to shut them out. Joey and Kyle already lost their mom. I was barely holding on. I couldn't have them lose their grandparents too. Now, that I'm more stable, they've apologized. I've forgiven them, but it's not the same anymore. I can't bring myself to completely trust them anymore."

Alex fell silent after that. In that silence, Marissa wondered if she'd ever be able to get Alex to trust her again. As she continued to comfort Alex, her eyes caught sight of her surf board. Memories of the night that Alex left came rushing back to her. "That night you left…I never cried so much in my life." Alex was a bit surprised at the change of subject, but listened intently anyway.

"I kept waiting for sleep to take me, to save me. It never came though. I spent that whole night crying. Summer held me through it all. She, too, was deprived of sleep. I had never felt so much pain as I did that night, and the nights that followed. It was crippling. The days, years even, that followed were not the best for me. Everywhere I went, I saw you. I went back to drinking heavily. I did whatever I could to ease the pain, which included sleeping with pretty much anything that walked. It didn't work though."

"Why didn't you call me then?" Alex sat up a little. "If I meant so much to you, if it hurt so much, then why didn't you call me? I waited Marissa. I waited for a week, but not one call. I had messages from everybody else, but none from you. Even Jodie thought you'd call, but you didn't. Why?"

"I wanted to," insisted Marissa. The pain in Alex's voice was evident. "I honestly did-"

"Then why didn't you?!"

"I…I didn't want to risk angering you any further."

"That's bull, Marissa!" Alex almost shouted.

"It's true! You left Alex! You didn't just leave me, you left Newport. You had to have had a sizable amount of hatred for me, and I didn't want to giver any further incentive. I wanted to give you a little time first, a little space. While I was doing so, I was starting to live in denial. I told myself that you didn't really leave me, that you'd be back. All I had to do was wait. So I did. For a couple of weeks, I never left the apartment, except to go to school. I didn't want to risk you coming and me not being there. Eventually, reality set in and by that time, your number was already changed."

Alex quickly got off Marissa. "I don't buy it. You still would've called regardless. That is, if you really did care for me."

Marissa was panicking. "I _did_ care for you Alex! I loved you! I still-"

"Don't you dare say it," interrupted Alex. She started putting her clothes back on. "This was a mistake. I should've known better. We got emotional and just took it too far. You need to take me back. I've been gone far too long as it is." Alex had finished getting dressed and waited for Marissa to do the same. However, Marissa was still sitting in bed. She looked at Alex with pain in her eyes. Alex turned around. Seeing Marissa in pain would only weaken her, and she was not going to let her guard down again. "I'll be waiting by the car."

Then she was gone. Marissa watched as Alex walked away from her…again. A mistake. That's how Alex viewed their lovemaking. That's how she viewed Marissa. The brunette's heart physically ached. After everything, that was all Marissa was to Alex. A regretful mistake. With that notion acknowledged, Marissa felt a tightening in her chest. She was finding it harder to breathe and tears were threatening to spill. She couldn't have them fall yet though, not with Alex waiting for her. Marissa knew that if she started crying now, she'd never be able to stop. She needed to return Alex first. Then, she could come back home, curl up in bed, and let her tears fall. As she dressed herself, Alex words echoed in her mind

This was a mistake. _She was a mistake._


	20. No Promises

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for all the reviews! It's late and I haven't edited so expect mistakes. Not too much here, but I hope you enjoy the little that it is.**

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Marissa arrived at Seth's bright and early the next day. She wasn't sure when Taylor was going to start her shopping adventure, so Marissa figured the earlier, the better. She glanced at the clock in her car before getting out. It read 7:02AM.

When Marissa reached the door, she was about to knock before she thought better of it. It _was_ early, and she didn't want to risk waking everybody up, especially Alex. After what happened last night, the brunette figured it was best not to get on her bad side first thing in the morning. Instead, Marissa used her key copy that Seth had given her. As quietly as humanly possible, Marissa let herself in the apartment. She glanced around the apartment. It showed no signs of life. Marissa wanted to make the boys breakfast, but first things first. She needed coffee. Without a sound, the brunette made her way into the kitchen and effectively gave Seth the scare of his life.

"Ahhhh!" came Seth's slightly girly screamed, which caused Marissa to give one of her own.

"Damn it, Seth!" exclaimed Marissa as she bent down to pick up her purse that she had dropped. "You scared the hell out me."

"Me?!" Seth shriek incredulously. "_You're_ the one that's sneaking around in my apartment."

"Shhh!" hissed Marissa. "Keep your voice down, please. Besides, I wasn't sneaking around. I was just trying to be considerate and walk around quietly."

"Like how you were following Alex last weekend, and not stalking her?"

Marissa cut her eyes at Seth, although he couldn't see it due to the fact that she still had her sunglasses on. "Do you really want to take it there?"

Seth gulped. He couldn't see her eyes, but he heard her tone. "Heh, not really. Why _are_ you here so early?"

"Taylor's taking Alex shopping, remember? I'm watching the boys."

"Right. You know, you didn't have to volunteer to do so. I could've done it. I kind of already planned on doing so. Well, not the whole shopping thing, but being with them 24/7 for this weekend."

Marissa sighed. "I know, and by all means, please do whatever you have planned. I just hope you don't mind me tagging along."

"Never," assured Seth. "So then, why did you volunteer to watch them?"

Marissa shrugged her shoulders. "Trying to earn brownie points, I guess."

"With Taylor or Alex?"

"Honestly? Both. I definitely could use them."

Seth wasn't completely sure, but he was betting that Marissa was referring to Alex with that last line, and whatever happened between them. "What happened last night?"

Marissa took a seat at the table. "What makes you think anything happened?"

"Oh, I don't know. It could be the fact that you and Alex were gone for a good amount of time last night. It could also be the fact that when you guys finally returned, Alex was in rush to leave. Better yet, it could be that I caught a glimpse of Summer consoling you as I left. I couldn't see your face, but I'd be that you were crying or close to it. Add the fact that you're inside my apartment and still wearing sunglasses…I think it's safe to say that something happened."

Marissa laughed sadly. "What's wrong with wearing sunglasses inside?"

"Marissa…show me your eyes." Reluctantly, Marissa did as she was asked. "Holy shit, Marissa!" Marissa's eyes were beyond puffy. Seth had seldom seen them, or any set of eyes, in that state of puffiness. He suspected that she had spent her night shedding tears, but looking at her eyes now, Seth felt extremely concerned. It looked as if she was shedding waterfalls instead of tears.

"Shhh!" reprimanded Marissa, as she put her shades back on. "You're going to wake everyone up."

Seth went to take a seat next to Marissa. "What happened?"

"I messed up," Marissa said simply.

"What do you mean? How?"

Marissa looked away. "It doesn't matter."

"What doesn't matter?"

Marissa and Seth looked to see that Alex was making her way into the kitchen, half alive.

"Uh," began Seth. "Marissa and her sunglasses." Both girls looked at him confused. "Well, she's still wearing them, but she's inside. I thought that maybe she must have not noticed that she was inside a building so I informed her. She said that there was no written rule saying you could only wear them outside. She wanted to keep them on so the fact that she was now inside didn't matter. I was about to say disagree when you came along. You agree with me, right?"

Alex looked at Seth feeling more lost than ever. She looked back and forth between him and Marissa. She shook her head and said, "I need coffee first. Then, I can deal with you."

Seth pretended to be insulted. "I shouldn't have to be 'dealt' with."

Alex started preparing the coffee. "Seriously, I need my coffee first."

Seth stood up and held up his chin. "I'm not going to put up with this. I'm going to take a shower. Marissa, we're having ice cream later!" Seth left quickly before Marissa had a chance to stop him. He knew that she wouldn't be too happy with him for leaving her alone with Alex. However, they had even more things to work out now. Seth wanted them to do it sooner rather than later. They had already lost so many years.

"Again with ice cream," Alex said ash she prepared the coffee. "I'm starting to think you guys have some secret flavor or something.

Marissa chuckled. "I wish. Nope, it's just a thing we have."

Alex took a gulp of her coffee and savored it. Marissa smiled at the sight and asked, "That good, huh?"

Alex nodded. "Would you like a cup?"

"Sure."

Alex poured Marissa mug and handed it to her before going back to standing next to the coffee maker.

Their little moment of normalcy seemed to reach its end as discomfort started to settle in. Both girls remained silent. Alex opened her mouth to say something, but stopped herself. She spent most of the night reliving their night together. She felt awful for snapping at Marissa. When she was more calm, Alex decided that Marissa's reason for not calling her had made sense. She really did believe that Marissa thought she was doing the right thing. Alex promised herself that she'd apologize to Marissa for behaving the way she did, and she intended to do so. Still, things did go too far, but Alex knew she should've handled it better. It wasn't like Marissa forced her to have sex. Alex sighed inwardly. She sneaked a peek at Marissa's direction. She had her head down and she seemed to be focusing on her fingers. Alex cleared her throat as she got ready to apologize.

"Marissa, about last night-"

"I know," interrupted Marissa. "It was a mistake. I got that. I'm sorry that I took it that far. I didn't mean to. Honest. I really did just wanted to show you the picture. I guess I…I don't know. I just hope I haven't ruined my chances of being your friend, but I'll understand if I have. I screwed up, but please don't let it affect your friendship with Seth. Having you in his life again has done him so much good. I don't him to lose you because of me…again."

"Marissa-"

"I can make myself scarce when you visit," continued Marissa. She didn't want to cut Alex off, but she needed to say her piece as quickly as possible. She needed to do it while she could still hold her tears back. "It'll be like I'm out of town or something."

"Marissa," Alex tried again. It was hurting her to see the sight in front of her, to hear the pain and sadness in Marissa's voice. Marissa never looked up. She just kept her head down and twiddled her fingers.

"Please," pleaded Marissa, finally looking up. "Promise me you won't let it affect your friendship with Seth. He'll blame me, and I can't go through that again. Please-"

Marissa's words were cut off as she felt Alex put her hands on her mouth. The doctor offered a sweet smile. "I promise." Alex was about to take her hand off Marissa's mouth. However, she found her fingers tracing her lips instead. She felt Marissa take in a sharp breath. Alex was momentarily lost in the feeling of Marissa's lips underneath her fingers. She reveled in its softness. However, Alex's fingers soon stilled as she felt something wet hit them. She looked up to meet Marissa's eyes, only to have her shades block her access. "Marissa? What's wrong?"

It took everything Marissa had to not let the rest of her tears pour out when she heard the concern in Alex's voice. Feeling the gentleness of Alex's fingers on her lips was just too much for the brunette. It reminded Marissa of their night together and all the other times they made love. It spoke of Alex's tenderness, of her kindness. Worst of all, it reminded Marissa that chances were she'd never have any of that again. She'd never have Alex again. She knew Alex was waiting for an answer, but Marissa couldn't trust her voice. So just shook her head and tried to keep the rest of her tears in check.

As Marissa remained silent, Alex's worry only deepened. Her heart ached as she was beginning to realize the real reason for Marissa's sunglasses. It wasn't that she believed what Seth had said. She just didn't disbelieve it. Still, Alex had to know for sure. She went to reach for the sunglasses only to have Marissa's hand stop her.

"Don't," came Marissa's broken reply.

"I need to see," Alex said softly.

"Why? So you can make fun of me later when you're telling everyone about your pathetic shitty ex?" There was a slight bitterness to Marissa's voice, which surprised her.

"No," assured Alex.

"Why not? That's what I am."

"Stop belittling yourself," Alex said impatiently, "because_ that's_ pathetic." Alex instantly regretted her words. Marissa was being too harsh on herself, and Alex just wanted to put an end to it. Unfortunately, the brunette might've just made things worse.

Marissa felt another layer of control slip away from her when she heard Alex's words. She struggled even more to keep her tears at bay. Alex used the opportunity to take off Marissa's sunglasses. Alex gasped at the sight. She had never seen eyes that swollen before.

Not able to bear Alex's scrutiny any longer, Marissa got up quickly. She avoided Alex's gaze. "I'm going to go check on Seth." However, her path was blocked by Alex.

"Don't run away from me, Marissa."

Marissa looked at her feet as she spoke. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you any further. I just wanted to apologize for-"

"You need to stop apologizing. I'm the one that she be doing that."

Marissa shook her head. "You have nothing to apologize for Alex."

"Neither do you," countered Alex.

Marissa scoffed. "I have_ everything_ to apologize for.

Alex sighed. "Listen, Marissa-"

The brunette's words were cut off by the sound of someone knocking on the door.

"That's probably Taylor," assumed Marissa. "You should answer it. You don't want to keep her waiting."

Alex was about to say something when another knock was heard, this one more impatient than the one prior.

"Go ahead," urged Marissa. "Like I said, I'm just going to check on Seth."

Alex didn't to let Marissa go, but she seemed to not have a choice at the moment. "Okay." Alex moved to let Marissa pass.

"Can I have my glasses back?" Alex handed them back to Marissa and watched as she disappeared down the hall.

--

Alex, Taylor, and Summer had been shopping for almost four hours now. When Alex finally answered the door, she was surprised to find Summer on the other side, along with an impatient Taylor. Apparently, Summer had invited herself to their little shopping adventure. Alex didn't particularly mind, and Taylor just wanted to get things started.

The girls had visited too many stores for Alex's taste. Throughout the morning, she found that her thoughts often drifted back to Marissa. However, Alex didn't let herself dwell on it too much. She just couldn't handle it at the moment.

Despite it all, Alex had to admit that she was having fun. It had been way too long since she had an all girls outing. Summer mentioned that a couple times a month they had a girl's night out, and all but forced Alex to promise to partake in one. They even shopped for kid clothes. Summer would give the ultimate say on what was cute and what wasn't. She clashed with Taylor on a few items, which Alex found to be extremely entertaining. They had to be the loudest bunch in the entire mall.

The girls were finally on their way out when Taylor had a look in her eye. Alex had come to know that look. She had started to dread that look.

"Taylor-no," Alex began.

"But look-"

"I don't want to look," interrupted Alex. She faced Taylor in the other direction. "You shouldn't look either. Let's go. We're leaving, remember?"

"This will be the last one, Alex," pleaded Taylor.

Alex shook her head. "That's what you said last time. "I'm hungry. I need to be fed."

"Please," Taylor begged. "I really promise this will be the last one. Please Alex. Pretty please. "

"Oh, just let her," suggested Summer. "She'll just mope about all day if you don't. Trust me, this is the better option."

"Fine," Alex reluctantly agreed. The three of them made their way into the store, and Alex headed directly towards the dressing room.

"You're not even going to look around?" Taylor asked.

"Nope. I'm just going to sit here and wait for you."

"I think I'm going to join her," Summer said.

Taylor shrugged her shoulders. "Suit yourselves."

"I don't understand how you girls can do this on a daily basis," complained Alex. "I mean, I would think at the rate you go, you'd already own everything in this mall."

"That's the beauty about clothes-there's always more."

Alex buried her face in hands as she let out a playful, frustrated sigh.

Summer patted Alex's back. "You'll be okay."

Alex looked up at Summer and again, she saw that Summer was about to say something before changing her mind. It had been happening all morning. Alex didn't press because she figured that it had something to do with Marissa, but now with nothing else occupying her mind, Alex wanted to know.

"You can say it, Summer."

Summer was slightly confused. "Say what?"

"Whatever it is you've been trying to say or ask me."

Summer smiled sheepishly. "I've been caught. Sorry, I just wasn't sure what the boundaries were."

"How about you just start talking, and I'll let you know if you've reached it," suggested Alex.

Summer nodded. "Okay. It's about Marissa, which you probably already knew. She told me what happened last night. I was actually with her the whole night. I just…" Summer took a deep breath. "I don't know what your feelings about Marissa are. I don't mean romantic feelings. Just feelings in general. I know that there's a part of you that's probably not her biggest fan, and rightfully so. Yes, you've said you're over it, but still. I'm in no way excusing the way she treated you. That's not what I'm doing. It's just, she made a mistake. A huge one. A gigantic one. An enorm-"

"I get it, Summer."

Summer laughed nervously. "Sorry. Point is, she made a mistake and she's paid for it. I know that she may never be able to fully make up for it, but she_ has_ paid for it. She's still paying for it. These past years have been hard on her. I'm not saying that they weren't for you either. It's just…I saw what Marissa went through. I held her while she cried. There were times that her tears were so fierce that it shook her whole body violently. I'd hold onto her to try ease some of the shaking, but I couldn't. It only served to shake my body as well. I watched her as she tried to drink her pain away. I know that I probably should've stopped her, but she was in so much pain that I couldn't. I don't know what I expect from you as I tell you this. Your leaving was hard for her, for everyone. But seeing her go through it…it broke my heart. She was hurting so much, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Then last night…the way she was crying…" Summer looked into Alex's eyes. "I can't have her go through that again. She won't survive it. Obviously, I can't make you do anything. However, if one of the reason why you can't fully forgive her is because of the way she acted all those years ago, then it's not her fault. It's mine."

Alex lifted her eyebrow in confusion. She was about to object, but Summer beat her to it. "The way she treated you, I can't take the fault for that. Although, I would if it meant that you'd forgive her. What I'm referring to is those last few weeks. I was the one that told her not to call you. There were times when she really wanted to, but I talked her out of it every single time. I told her not to contact you in any shape or form. She didn't want to, but I made her."

Alex tried to wrap her head around everything Summer just said. "But…why?"

"I didn't do it to hurt you. Please understand that. I saw how she treated you, and I hated it. We all did. She was my best friend though. I couldn't hate her, just her actions. We saw how it affected you, Alex. I couldn't have her do that to you anymore. I know you probably doubted it from time to time, but I was your friend too. We all were. I wasn't going to let anyone hurt my friend, not even my best friend. So I told her to leave you be. I needed to know for sure that she was serious this time around. I told Marissa that she needed to make amends with everyone first to prove to you that she was indeed serious. I guess the truth was that I needed her to prove that to me first. I guess…" Summer paused to wipe a tear that had escaped her eyes. "I guess I should've realized how that would've affected you, but she had already been treating you so horribly that I honestly didn't think it could've made things worse. Then, the morning of her party, you told me you were thinking of not coming. I completely panicked. It was until then that I realized that perhaps I should've factored in your reaction more. That's why I all but begged you to be there. That night was the night, and I couldn't have you not be there. I miscalculated, and I couldn't have Marissa pay for that, not when she really did want to make things up to you. The day of the party, she was so nervous. You not showing up would've killed her. So again, I say don't hold that against her. The fault was mine and mine alone. All these years I've had to watch her go from one bed to another trying fill a void, a void that only you could fill. Still, she kept trying. She wasn't trying to replace you. You just needed to feel, I guess, and all I could do was watch."

Alex was dumbfounded. She wasn't sure what to make of this newfound information. However, did it really matter? As Alex was trying to process everything, a thought occurred to her. "This doesn't have anything to do with why you broke up with Seth, does it? He told me that all you would tell him was that he deserved someone better, that you weren't worthy. Then Marissa claims that you're still in love with him, but you won't be with him. She actually thinks it's her fault."

"What?!" exclaimed Summer. "Why would she think that?"

"Because of how much of yourself you had to give to help her. She thought maybe she drove a wedge between the two of you."

Summer felt horrible. She hadn't realized that thought it was her fault. "Well, it's not her fault. She lost you because of me. Perhaps I wasn't the main reason, but I did play a role. How could I go on being happy when I was the reason why my best friend wasn't happy?"

"So you punish Seth for it?"

"He deserves better."

"So you keep saying, but haven't you figured out that there is no one better for Seth than you. We all think that. More importantly Seth thinks that."

Summer sighed. "It's complicated."

"Only because you make it so. Take him back, Summer. You still love him so love him. Don't punish him."

"Too much has happened. Too much time has past."

"Summer," began Alex, "Seth would wait forever for you and you know it. No more excuses."

"We'll see. No promises though."

"That's all I ask," said Alex.

"What about Marissa?" Summer questioned hopefully.

"No promises."


	21. Stop Fighting

**Dislcaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for all your reviews. I'm in a hurry so I can't respond personally. Sorry, but I will next time. Hope I haven't lost your interest. Just a little filler here. Again, thanks for all your reviews. I really do appreciate them.**

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"I don't think I've ever tasted anything so delicious!"

Taylor rolled her eyes. "It's just a burger, Alex."

"Wrong," countered the brunette. "It's a _heavenly_ burger. It's a burger that I had to endure hours of torture to have." To prove her point, Alex took another bite and gave a very satisfying moan. Taylor only laughed.

After finishing up at the mall, the girls headed out for lunch. They ended up at a place where the specialty was burgers and shakes. It wasn't what Taylor had in mind, but Alex claimed that her hunger had her stomach eating itself. She needed food like yesterday. So they pulled into the first decent looking place they could find. Taylor had to admit though, her burger _was_ very tasty.

"It's good to know that our quality time together is torture for you," Taylor sighed dramatically.

"Well, if you didn't spend it trying on a million thing and only buying less than half of them, maybe I wouldn't," retorted Alex.

"Well, someone's gotten brave," Taylor teased. "What's the matter? Are you no longer scared of me just because I've been nice to you today?"

"No, I'm very much scared of you," Alex said seriously. "It's just this burger is so good, I'm not thinking straight. I'm on a high right now."

Taylor laughed and shook her head. "Kelly, you are a weird one. I hope your kids don't take after you."

"Whatever."

"Oh, what a mature response," teased Taylor.

Alex only rolled her eyes and looked at the seat on her other side. "I hope Summer didn't get lost," Alex said after taking a long sip from her milkshake. The short brunette had excused herself a couple minutes ago to go to the ladies' room.

"Oh, you know Summer-she's gotta be in the bathroom for at least ten minutes," Taylor replied, half-joking. "I wouldn't worry. She's probably decided to give Marissa a quick call."

"What makes you say that?" wondered Alex.

Taylor shrugged her shoulders. "It's no secret that something went down between the two of you last night. Summer's probably just checking up on Marissa. She does that often. She's quite concerned about her, everyone is."

"Are you?"

Taylor looked at Alex a moment before answering. "I'm sure by now you've heard that things aren't the greatest between the two of us." Alex only nodded. Taylor sat up a little straighter as she set out to explain things. "When she told us that you were gone, I immediately blamed her. I lashed out and said some things that weren't particularly nice. They were the truth, mind you, but I could've said them a bit more nicely. I was just so livid. However, truth was, I wasn't completely mad at her. I was also mad at you, but you were gone. So I focused it all on Marissa. Everyone was angry with her, except Summer. However, I dare say that I was the most harsh. In time, she earned everyone's forgiveness, even mines. I just haven't told her that yet. If you ask her about it now, she'll just shrug it off. She'll claim that it was well deserved, and to an extent it was. The worse part is that she'll let us off the hook by saying that we weren't that bad. Well, we were. We were quite horrible." Taylor paused as she let Alex take everything in. She waited a bit longer to see if the girl needed to say anything. When Alex remained silent, Taylor continued.

"Second to me, Seth was the most furious. As I did, he called Marissa out on her poor treatment of you. He went on a terrible rant. His words were pretty much the same as mines, but I think his hurt her more. They were closer than Marissa and I. That put Summer in a terrible position. Her best friend was hurting and her boyfriend wanted it. It wasn't as if she was forced to choose between the two, but it was still a strain nonetheless. Eventually, Summer broke it off with Seth, which didn't help his anger. While, Summer insisted her reasons had nothing to do with Marissa, neither Seth nor Marissa believed her. Seth grew angrier and Marissa had another reason to feel even lower. Soon enough, Seth's anger subsided. It was then replaced with pain that came with losing Summer. I'm not quite sure how it initially started, but somehow Marissa and Seth began bonding. I guess Seth realized just how much pain Marissa was in because he was going through the same thing. However, at least Marissa knew why she lost you. Seth on the other hand, isn't quite as lucky. As you can see now, they've actually become quite close. They've proved that misery does indeed love company."

Taylor took another pause before continuing. "Ryan's anger was a result of his guilt. You see, he really did enjoy his friendship with you. He was quite intent on being great friends with you. When he learned that Marissa had mistakenly thought it was him that brought Mr. Cooper, he felt horrible. Add the fact that it seemed to be the breaking point for you, and well…I tried to console him. Marissa just misunderstood her dad's words. The fact that he wasn't even supposed to be with me to begin with didn't exactly help either. I think he was more mad at himself than Marissa, but it was easier to take it out on her."

"But they're good now right?" questioned Alex.

Taylor nodded her head. "Yep. At his core, Ryan's too sweet of a guy to stay mad at Marissa. They had shared too much. He knew she was hurting. He didn't want to add on to it. I still can't believe you thought they were married!"

"What was I supposed to think? Will's last name is Atwood and Julie's his grandmother. Anyone would've made the same assumption. Then with the way Marissa spoke of Will, I just assumed…"

Taylor knew what Alex meant by that. "Marissa is quite fond of Will, and why wouldn't she be? He's the best kid in the world. I think with Will, it's that first kid syndrome kind of thing. I mean, obviously he's our first kid, but it wasn't just that. He was the first kid of the bunch, of our bunch. I was the first to get pregnant so everyone was just kind of living through me. They were all kinds of excited. The pregnancy was hell though."

Immediately, Alex was worried. "You didn't have a difficult pregnancy, did you? What symptoms did you have?"

Taylor smiled. "Look at you get all doctor-like on me. Don't worry, Dr. Kelly. My pregnancy was just fine. It was the people around me that weren't so great. It was like I had inherited extra mothers. Everyone was always on my case about being careful. They didn't want to risk anything happening to the baby. It was terrible. Even Marissa mothered me, in her own way of course. Prior to then, she had kept her distance from me, as you can understand. However, with the news of my pregnancy, she reached out to me a bit more. It was little things like offering to go to doctor appointments if Ryan couldn't make it. Offering to help around the house so that I didn't have to be on my feet as much, help with my errands, things like that. My first instinct was to tell her to get lost, but she was trying so hard. Instead, I accepted her help from time to time. We never really talked or anything. However, I did tell her that if she expected to have any part in my kid's life, she needed to clean up her act. Cut back on the drinking and whatnot…and she did. She loves Will like crazy. She takes the whole aunt thing to a completely different level. Julie's even worse, but to be honest, I'm grateful for it. It's a nice feeling to know that your kid is so well loved. Still, you thinking that Marissa and Ryan were married meant that you thought I couldn't hold on to Ryan. _Please_. I know how to keep my man."

Alex laughed. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I should've known better."

"Well, don't make that mistake again," warned Taylor.

"Taylor, you look like you're about to strike. Alex, what did you say to her?"

Both girls looked up to see that Summer had made her way back to the table.

"I didn't say anything," defended Alex. "We were actually just talking about Taylor's pregnancy. Heard everyone got a little overprotective."

"And rightfully so!" exclaimed Summer. She pointed a finger at Taylor. "Did you know this girl put so much processed food into her body when she was pregnant."

"Summer, I had to eat."

"So munch on a salad and eat leaner proteins. With all that cholesterol you were hoarding in your mouth, I'm surprised Will didn't have a heart attack in the wound."

Taylor rolled her eyes at Summer's dramatic words. "Do you see what I mean, Alex?" Alex only laughed in response. "Changing topics now. I assume things are good with Marissa?"

Summer sighed. "For the moment they are. She's having ice cream with Cohen at the moment."

Alex felt compelled to ask, "so what is it with them and ice cream?"

"That's how their friendship got back on track," explained Summer. "Marissa was on her way to the beach one day to try and clear her head. She saw Seth on the pier just staring at the ocean. We had broken up a couple of few months before, and I guess he was there for the same reason as Coop. She took a chance and walked up next to him. They didn't speak at first, but somehow the ice was broken. There was an ice cream stand so they got ice cream, and that's how it began. That's what she told me anyway."

Alex only nodded in silent acknowledgment. The three girls ate their food quietly for the next few minutes. Then, Taylor broke the silence.

"This is for you, Alex."

A mix of surprise and confusion showed on Alex's face. She looked down to see Taylor handing her an envelope.

Seeing Alex's hesitancy, Taylor encouraged, "Go on. Take it and open it."

Alex did as she was told. It was a card, an invitation to be exact. Alex read it in confusion. She looked up at Taylor for answers. "I don't-"

"It's an invitation to my wedding," confirmed Taylor. "Of course, my wedding has long since passed. I just wanted you to know that you were invited, that I wanted you there. I wanted it so much that I actually had Ryan try to find you. That's all I wanted. Of course, he was unsuccessful." Taylor's features were saddened a bit. "I wasn't angry that he couldn't find you, but I knew he felt as if he let me down. He didn't, but I didn't exactly do anything to dispel that notion either. To this day, there's a part of him that feels like that, like I blame him for you not being there. Of course I don't. I blame you, and I mean that in the nicest way."

Words were failing Alex. "I don't know what to say except I'm sorry."

Taylor shrugged her shoulders. "Don't worry about it. It's in the past now. You'll make up to me by letting me be a bridesmaid at your wedding. If you _really_ want to make it up to me, I'll be your maid of honor."

"Oh! I get to be a bridesmaid too then!" added Summer.

Alex just laugh. "Sure, but I've to warn you-wedding bells are a very long way off."

"I can wait," Taylor said simply. Alex smiled. She had no doubt about that.

--

A couple of hours later, Alex had her car packed and was ready to head back home. Seth, Ryan, Taylor, Will, and Summer were all crowded around Alex and her sons to say goodbye.

"I can't believe you're leaving already," whined Summer.

"It's not like I'm leaving forever," answered Alex. "I'll visit, and you guys are always welcomed to visit me anytime."

"Don't worry, we will," Seth threatened sweetly. He gave Alex a long hug, followed by everyone else doing the same. Seth went in for one last hug. "She's not coming," he whispered in her ear. When they broke the hug, Alex saw the apology in Seth's eyes and offered a small side. She had been waiting and looking around to see if Marissa would show up. Alex had to admit that it hurt that Marissa didn't see her off. Alex didn't blame her. She said it herself, it wasn't like a permanent goodbye. She'd be back. Still, it hurt.

Seth bent down and said to Kyle and Joey, "You boys take care of your mom, okay?"

Both boys nodded. "We will," Joey said.

"Okay boys, in the car," ordered Alex. However, as soon as she said that a car pulled up and out came Julie.

"I'm so glad I caught you in time," exclaimed Julie a little frazzled. "Do you have enough time to spare me a few minutes?"

"Uh…yeah," replied Alex.

Julie looked at everyone standing and added, "alone."

"It's okay, Alex," Seth said. "Go on. I'll take the boys inside." Alex sent him a grateful smile.

"We'll just go inside too," added Ryan. Alex nodded and watched as everyone retreated inside. She turned back to face Julie. "So…what can I do for you?" While Alex waited for Julie's answer, she noticed that the older woman looked a little a nervous, scared even. Alex mentally shook herself. She must have been seeing things. This was Julie Cooper we were talking about.

"Well," Julie started. She let out a nervous chuckle. "Oh hell. I'm just going to come out and say it. What will it take for you to give Marissa another chance?"

Alex was a bit surprised. "I…"

"She's changed," continued Julie. "She really has. She won't repeat her mistakes. She misses you, Alex. In a sense, she misses you more now than ever." At Alex's confused expression, Julie elaborated. "You're back in her life again Alex, something she's been dreaming of since you left. However, at the same time, you're not back in her life. I mean, you are, but only by default. You've revived your friendship with Seth and everyone else, so naturally your paths will probably cross paths but that's all it'll be. That's not enough for Marissa, but she'd take it regardless. She'd take what she could get. Still, it's going to be hard for. She'll see you around when you visit spending time with everyone but her. She'll hear countless stories about everyone's adventures when they visit, and it'll hurt. As happy as she is that you're back in everyone's lives, it still hurts to know that she's not really included in that."

"I told her we could be friends," Alex defended. "I want to be friends."

"Then, why didn't you invite her to go shopping with you?" questioned Julie.

"It was just supposed to be Taylor and me."

"Did Summer not go too?"

"Yes, but she invited herself-"

"So then it was no longer just you and Taylor. Why not invite Marissa as well?"

"She was going to watch my sons-"

"Which Seth could've done. Can you imagine how she felt? She was left out. It was a girl's morning out and she wasn't invited."

Alex cursed herself. Why _didn't_ she invite Marissa? The thought never even crossed her mind. Did Marissa want to go?

"And if you wanted to be friends," continued Julie, "then why haven't you given her your number? I assume you've exchange numbers with everyone else, but her."

"She could've asked," Alex said. "Or she could've given me hers."

"Do you really she would?" came a voice. Alex and Julie turned to see Summer making her way towards them. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I just figured it'd be about Marissa and well, I wanted to be a part of the conversation."

"Why wouldn't she give me her number?" Alex asked. "Unless she didn't want me to have it."

Both Summer and Julie looked at Alex like she was insane. "Are you serious?" Summer asked in disbelief. "You've shown no interest in keeping in contact with her, Alex. Do you really think she'd do something so bold as asking for your number? Or giving you hers? I don't know if you've noticed but Marissa's scared of you. Well, maybe not _of_ you, but she's scared. She's scared that one wrong move on her part will have you leaving again. Last night certainly didn't help either. If anything, it proved her fears."

Alex suspected that Summer knew what happened between her and Marissa, but she wasn't sure until now. "How does that prove anything?"

"You ran, Alex," Summer answered. "She said something that upset you, and your first instinct was to leave her. And you did, even after you guys…" Summer let her words trail off. She wasn't sure if Julie knew and didn't want to risk upsetting Alex by letting it slip.

"Please," pleaded Julie. "Don't you feel anything towards her?"

"It's been eight years, Julie," Alex said a little harshly. "I don't love her anymore. I don't know what you guys expected from me-"

"We didn't expect anything," assured Julie. "You loved her once. Even when I didn't like it, I couldn't deny that fact. I never doubted that you loved her deeply. I just thought it was deep enough to have at least a little survive all this. I see now that I was wrong."

"Julie…"

Julie put her hands up. "I'm not trying to take away from the love that you did have for her. I just…I'm her mom. I just want to see her happy, truly happy. Can't blame me for that, can you?"

"No," agreed Alex. "I'm just sorry that I can't be of any help."

Both women nodded. "I'll get your sons," offered Summer.

After Summer left, Julie said, "If you ever change your mind, you know where to find her." Julie walked back to her car. She about to get in, but stopped at the last minute. She looked at Alex and added, "Cut the whole friends crap though. Even after all this, you _still_ haven't asked for Marissa's number." Alex open her mouth to speak but Julie was already speeding away. She rubbed her forehead and prayed that the ride home would be a quiet, uneventful one.

--

"Finally! I was wondering when you'd get here."

Alex smiled at her friend. "Tell me, Max, what made you so certain that I'd come."

Max handed a customer their drink before he answered. "Are you kidding me? You spent a weekend with your ex. Just the thought of it screams bar time."

Alex laughed at her friend as she got herself situated behind the bar. "You know me too well."

"I tend bar. I'm supposed to know people. Now hurry up. We got a packed crowd here."

"What else is new?" Alex asked before she started taking orders.

The two worked side by side throughout the night. In between serving drinks, Alex relayed her weekend towards Max.

"So you're definitely not getting back with her?" the blonde bartender asked as he prepared a rum and coke.

"No," confirmed the blonde.

"Oh," was all Max said, but Alex detected something in his voice.

"Don't tell me you want me to give her another chance," Alex said in shock. "You're the last person that would want that…or so I thought."

"It's not that I want that. It's just that…" He trailed off as he handed the customer the drink and got ready to prepare another.

"It's just what?" prompted Alex, as she handed someone a beer.

Max took in a deep breath. "I've been thinking. Ever since I've known you, you've had this…aura about you."

"Aura? Since when did you use words like that?"

Max glared at Alex. "I'm trying to be express myself here. I'd appreciated it if you didn't make fun of my words."

Alex smiled and said, "Sorry. Please continue."

"Anyway, there was always something about you that was off. I can't explain it. Just looking at you and anyone would've thought you were happy, and I'm not saying that you weren't. But there were times when I'd see something in you that told me otherwise. When you told me about Newport, I realized that was it. You were nursing a broken heart. However, as the years went I realized it wasn't just that. You were nursing a broken soul, a broken spirit. A part of you was permanently damaged and nothing or no one could fix that. Not Jodie. Not even your sons. And as much as I hate what that girl has done to you, I can't help but wonder if she's the one, the only one, that can fix the part of you." Max paused to let his words sink a little.

A few minutes of silence between them passed as they continued to take drink orders. Finally, Max decided to continue. "Last week, I saw and heard how nervous and scared you were to go visit your friend. I also saw how happy and excited your were. However, I am certain I saw something else."

"And what would that be?" asked Alex.

"A yearning, I guess. You wanted to see her. You _needed_ to see her again. I think when you saw her that first time, something came rushing back."

"I don't feel that way about her anymore!" Alex exclaimed. "How many times do I have to say that?"

"Maybe not prior, but I think the moment you saw her again, you started to fall for her again. At the very least, you started the process of falling for her, and you're fighting it." Alex remained silent. "I'm not saying I blame you. I just…I'd just like to look at you and for once not see someone so...broken. It hurts to see you hurting. Stop fighting it. Embrace it. It's a tall order, I know. It's also one that I'm not entirely sure you take, but you've been through so much, lost so much. I don't want you to be denied of happiness, even you're the one doing the denying. Maybe giving her another chance isn't the best thing to do, but you need some kind of closure from her. As you much as you've claimed that you're over it, you know it's not entirely true. You need closure. Whether or not that includes giving her another chance...I don't know. I wish I did though."

Alex took in Max's words. It was possible that he could be right, but she wasn't sure if wanted to find out if he was. She thought about what Summer said. It _was_ low of her to walk out on Marissa after they had just slept together. Even worse, she called their being together a mistake, but it wasn't. Alex recalled how good it felt to hold Marissa, to feel her, to taste her. No, it wasn't a mistake. It was right. Still, was it enough to risk everything again? She didn't know, and soon Alex realized that she needed to find out.

"Max-"

"Go." Max saw Alex thinking things through. He had already known what she decided before she opened her mouth to speak.

Alex sent him a grateful smile. "Thanks." She finished up her last order and got ready to leave. Before she left she gave her friend a hug and a kiss. "I'll call you," she told him and left. She looked at her watch. It was barely ten. It'd take her about an hour to make it to Newport, less if she sped. She just hoped she wasn't making a mistake.

--

Marissa had been sitting on the beach for half an hour now. She found that she couldn't sleep, which was nothing new. She came to the beach hoping the was waves would be able to help soothe her. It helped, but only a little.

Marissa thought about Alex. She thought about their night together, minus the shattering ending. She clung onto the memory, savored every detail. After all, it was all she ever really had these days-memories. As she was reliving her memories, she heard a voice.

"I figured you'd be here."

Marissa looked up to see who voice's owner was. To say that she was surprised was an understatement. "What are you doing here?"


	22. While You Loved Me

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I used some lyrics from another Rascal Flatts song, "While You Loved Me." It's when Marissa starts talking about her autobiography.  
**

**I am SO sorry for taking so long. I lost my original version of this last chapter, and I've been struggling to remember it. I did not succeed. I got some, but it's just not the same. So instead I give you this. It's not as great as I want it to be, but it's all I got. Thanks for all your reviews. I'm so happy that you guys liked my stories. As I said, this is the last chapter. I just hope it's an ending that works with you guys. Without further ado...**

* * *

"Are you saying I'm not welcome?" the brunette asked as she sat herself down next to Marissa.

"No, of course not! I just didn't expect to see you."

"To be honest, I'm surprised to be here myself."

"How did you know I was here," wondered Marissa.

"Well, you weren't at your place. Given the late hour, I figured you'd either be here or off having drunken sex. Since you don't seem to be doing the latter anymore, the beach was the best bet."

Marissa only nodded, unsure of what to say. Both girls sat in silence watching the waves. Suddenly, Marissa couldn't take the silence, or her curiosity.

"Why _are_ you here, Taylor?" questioned Marissa.

Taylor just shrugged her shoulders. "You've had a hell of a weekend. It's a lot to take in. I figured you shouldn't be alone. I figured you'd be too scared to push me away like you probably did with Summer."

"I'm fine, Taylor," insisted Marissa.

"I'd rather you not lie to me," Taylor said.

Marissa dropped her head. "Sorry."

"It's okay. Look I just want you to know that we are here for you. That includes me. I know. It's shocking to me too. But like everyone else, I believe you've more than paid for your mistakes. Stop blaming yourself."

"That's not exactly the easiest thing to do," Marissa replied.

"No, but it's not the hardest either," countered Taylor. Marissa only sighed. "Look, you're never going to win Alex back if you keep pitying yourself. You need to be the old Marissa again. Not the one that treated Alex like shit by doing things like flirting with my future husband. No, not that Marissa, but the old, old Marissa. You know, the one that acted like she loved her girlfriend."

"It's not that easy," sighed Marissa.

Taylor rolled her eyes. "It's that your favorite excuse or something? Easy. Hard. That's beside the point. What you've got to figure out is whether or not she's worth the risk."

"Of course she is-"

"Then get off your ass and fight for your girl!"

"She doesn't want me!" shouted Marissa. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that why you came? To rub it in my face. To make me say it out loud? Fine then! Alex doesn't want me. She doesn't love me. The only thing she wants when it comes to me is to stay the hell away from me. There! Happy now?!" Marissa turned her head away from Taylor and wiped away her tears.

Taylor placed a comforting hand on Marissa's back. "Marissa…"

"Taylor, please," sniffed Marissa, "I'm more than certain that I'll apologize for my outburst tomorrow. I've probably succeeded in setting myself further back with, but right now, I just don't want to care."

"She's just scared, Marissa."

"And I'm not? I get that I was the one that hurt her. I get that. I do. But what if she decides to give me another chance only to realize she just can't risk it somewhere along the way. That would crush me. I'd probably spend every minute we're together worrying if today's the day she'll realize she doesn't want me. Still, I'd want that chance to be with her. However, what's the point of me fighting for someone who doesn't even want to be with me. Sure she might say yes eventually, but how would I know that she actually wanted to say yes? How would I know she didn't say it cause I annoyed her to that point?" Marissa turned to look at Taylor once more.

"I love Alex. Maybe in time, she could learn to love me again. However, she doesn't want to love me. As much as I love her, it won't be enough to overlook the fact her love for me is something she doesn't want, something she regrets. I want her to want to love me."

Taylor sighed. "At least try Marissa. Lay all your cards on the table one more time. If you don't, you'll always wonder. If she refuses you, then at least you'll know. Who knows? Maybe she'll even want to love you, but to find that out, you have to try." Something caught Taylor's eye for a second.

"Look," continued Taylor, "I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. Just think about what I said though okay?" Taylor didn't even wait for an answer. "Well, I gotta go. Mom duties and all."

"Isn't Will already asleep?" asked Marissa.

"Yep. Well, he better be. Otherwise I won't be doing my wifely duties for Ryan. He'll have to resort to other measures for his…relief."

Marissa made a disgusted face. "Gross, Taylor. That's way too much information."

Taylor just shrugged her shoulders and stood up. "Think about what I said, alright? Okay bye!" And just like that Taylor was off. Marissa watched her go for a few seconds before she looked out to the water again. About a minute later, she felt someone sit beside her again.

Marissa smiled. "You've got more advice for me?"

"Well, I was actually thinking that maybe I could use some."

Marissa froze at the sound of that voice. Slowly, she turned her head and sure enough, she was face to face with Alex. A million questions shot out of her mouth.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in LA? Are your sons here too? Where are they? Don't they have school tomorrow? Don't _you_ have work tomorrow? How'd you know I was here?"

"Whoa!" exclaimed Alex. "Slow down just a bit. Well, that wasn't exactly the greeting I was hoping for, but oh well. I did go back to LA, but I came back here. No, my sons are at home in bed. My mom's watching them. I told her I'd be back in time to take them to school because I do have work tomorrow. As for you, I didn't know you'd be here. I went by your place and got no answer. I tried calling Seth but he didn't answer."

"He's checking out the lastest comics," answered Marissa.

Alex playfully rolled her eyes. "He's something else. Did you know that he created my sons a comic? He sure did. That's how he got them to agree with his plan to make me come here. He promised them their very own comic. To think my sons would be so quick to sell me out..."

Marissa laughed lightly. "Well, I'm glad he did. Something tells me others are too. However, right now, I'm thinking Seth is very glad for a completely different reason."

Alex arched her eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Yep. Summer asked him to go check them out with her."

A happy smile spread across Alex's face. "Yeah? That's so great!"

"I agree," said Marissa. "Perhaps they'll get their happily ever after, after all. They more than deserve it." Alex nodded in agreement. "So what brings you to the beach?"

"I came here to think, and it turned out you were here too. Any more questions? Did I get them all?"

"Except the first one," Marissa said. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't see me off," Alex said simply.

"I've watched you leave once. I didn't need to see it again."

"It's not like it's permanent, Marissa. I'll be back."

Marissa nodded. "Yes, you will. For Seth. Taylor. Summer. The whole world even, but not for me."

Alex dropped her eyes. "Marissa…that's not true."

"It's okay, Alex. So you came back just I can see you leave me again." Marissa sighed. "Suppose I deserve that."

"I came back cause…" Alex closed her eyes.

"Cause you felt like you had to?" offered Marissa.

"Yes."

"Not because you wanted to. You came cause you felt like you had no other choice."

"That's right!" exclaimed Alex. Marissa blinked away a tear as she heard Alex confirm her earlier words. Alex saw this and immediately corrected herself. "I mean, I wanted to come too."

"Of course you did."

Alex started doodling in the sand. "As I was getting ready to leave, I kept looking for you. I kept thinking you'd show up at the last minute, but you didn't. On the drive home, I kept switching from being mad to being sad. I guess I understood why you weren't there, but…I went to bartend tonight. I thought maybe it'd clear my head. No such luck. Next thing I knew, I was on my way back here."

Marissa only nodded. "You just missed Taylor."

"Oh, I think I've had my Taylor quota for the day. Besides, I came to see you, not her." Alex playfully nudged Marissa. "See? I've already you proved you wrong on that point." Marissa couldn't help but smile. "How long you been out here anyway?"

Marissa thought about it. "I'm not sure. A couple hours maybe."

Alex looked out to the water. "It's calming, isn't it? The water."

"Mm-hmm. I always figured that wherever you were, if there was a beach, you were there. So I'd come here at night often, wondering if you were doing the same. It was my only way of being with you."

Alex turned to look at Marissa looking at the water. She watched as the wind blew her hair lightly around her face. Without thinking, Alex reached to tuck a strand behind Marissa's ear. She watched as the brunette's eyes briefly closed at the contact. When Alex went to set her hand back down, she found that it landed on top of Marissa's. She probably should've removed her hand, but she found herself intertwining their fingers instead. Marissa reveled in the touch, but otherwise didn't acknowledge it. She was afraid Alex would remove her hand if she brought attention to it. The two just sat there holding each other's hand, enjoying the water.

While she was making the drive, Alex felt like she couldn't get here quick enough. Now, that she had arrived, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to, supposed to say. What _was_ she doing here? Did she want to try things with Marissa again? Could she really risk it?

As they sat there, Marissa thought about Taylor's words. She knew the brunette was right. However, knowing so didn't exactly make things easier for Marissa. Still, she had to try. She took in a breath, trying to find some kind of inner strength.

"You teased me," Marissa said, breaking the silence, "about writing an autobiography-"

"Who says I was teasing?"

Marissa smiled. "Well, I know what I'd write. Would you like to know?" Alex simply nodded. Marissa looked Alex directly in the eyes. "If I ever write the story of my life, don't be surprised if you're where it begins. Girl, I'd have to dedicate every line on every page to the memories we made while you loved me." _Loved_. Marissa had long accepted the fact that Alex no longer felt that way about her. While she has no one to blame but herself, the knowledge still hurt Marissa.

Alex opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Marissa had more to say, but she wanted to give Alex a chance to say something, anything. As she waited, she noticed an array of emotions in Alex's eyes. The ones that intrigued Marissa the most were surprise and confusion. It was no secret how Marissa felt Alex, and yet the doctor looked as if she was just told something that was downright shocking. That in turn left Marissa a little confused herself. Why would Alex be surprised by that? Marissa waited another minute before continuing.

"I'd start with chapter one, love innocent and young as the morning sun on a new day." Marissa used her free hand to gesture towards the evening sky. Then, her face was overcome with sadness. "Even though I know the end…well, I'd do it all again cause I got a lifetime in while you loved me. I was born the day you kissed me. I died inside the night you left me, but I lived, oh how I lived, while you loved me." Again, Marissa was met with silence. She took her gaze away from the brunette and looked out at the water. "Please say something, Alex."

Alex cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not used to hearing you say things like that. I just…I just wished you felt this way while were together. "

Marissa returned her gaze to Alex. "I've always felt this way."

"Then I wish it take my leaving to make you act like it."

"I told you, that night, I was-"

"I know," interrupted Alex. "It was just too late by then."

"But it might have been! If only you had stayed-"

"So it's my fault now?!" Alex demanded, slightly angry.

"No! I just…" Marissa sighed in defeat and started rubbing her forehead. "So many times I wondered had I been quicker, would it have made a difference? If I hadn't taken so long to get there. If I didn't get distracted by the presence of my dad-"

"He was your dad, Marissa," interjected Alex. "You hadn't seen him in years."

"Exactly. Another few minutes, another few hours-however long it took-wouldn't have made a difference. He could've waited. _You_ couldn't. You were my priority. I forgot that, and I ended up losing you." Marissa looked at Alex with tears in her eyes.

"Please, Alex. I know I said I was fine with just being friends, but is there any part of you that's willing to give me another chance? I miss you so much! You have every right to say no, but I promise I'll never hurt you again. Please. I'll do anything. Please, Alex. I love you so much-"

"But I don't love you, Marissa." If possible, Marissa felt another piece of heart breaking upon hearing Alex's words. Suddenly, she felt the need to run away. She quickly shot up.

"I-I need t-to go," Marissa said through her tears.

"Wait, Marissa!" But it was too late. Marissa was already gone. Alex cursed herself and took off after the brunette.

Marissa heard Alex calling for her, but she didn't stop. She couldn't stop. Alex's rejection shouldn't have come as a surprise, yet it did. All because Marissa was foolish to believe she still had a chance. It was slim, very slim, but it was still a chance. She was wrong. She let herself believe and only succeeded in causing herself more misery.

Marissa was wiping her tears as she ran when she suddenly her face met the sand.

As soon as Marissa hit the ground, Alex doubled her speed. She figured that Marissa couldn't have hurt herself too badly, but still. The doctor sped up regardless.

"Are…you…okay?" Alex asked between huffs.

Marissa got back up and dusted herself off. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You didn't twist your ankle or anything did you?"

"I'm fine, doctor. I just need to go." However, before Marissa could go, Alex placed a hand on her arm and stopped her.

"Don't run from me, Marissa."

"Why not?" Marissa asked in frustration. "Why should I show you the very courtesy you denied me?" Alex let go of Marissa's arm and looked down. Marissa immediately regretted her words. "I'm sorry, Alex. I'm just emotional at the moment."

Alex shook her head. "You're right though. You're allowed to be angry at me too."

"No, I'm not. I'm the one that screwed up."

"And I was the one that was a coward. I was the one that ran." Alex sat herself back on the sand. She patted the spot beside her. She saw the hesitation in Marissa's eyes. For a second there, Alex was sure Marissa would run off again. Fortunately, the brunette sat herself down too.

Alex smiled her thanks. "You caught me and Jodie in an interesting position, and you didn't run. Granted you left and stayed away, but you did it to win me back…the staying away part anyway. However, I ran. I didn't catch you in a seemingly compromising position. I was just jealous and insecure." Alex grabbed some sand and let it run through her fingers.

" Listen, I'm done with the blame game. It happened. We could go through the various 'what ifs' but that won't change things. It won't do us any good. And…if there's to be an 'us', I think it's better to start clean."

Marissa looked at Alex wide-eyed. "But you said-"

"I know what I said, but you took off before I could finish. Ironically enough, you ran." Alex sighed. "The thing about you is that you're so easy to fall for. " Alex tucked a hair behind Marissa's ear. "So easy to love. No, I don't love you, but if I had to be honest with myself, I've already started to fall for you again."

Marissa felt herself smiling and a different kind of tear rolled down her cheek. A happy tear. Alex returned her smile. "I'm not as jealous or insecure, but I'm still very much a coward. There is a part of me that wants to try again. However, the fear of getting hurt again overrides everything, especially with my sons in the picture."

"I understand. So...what does it mean for us?" Marissa asked, a little scared of the answer.

Alex sighed heavily. "I'm not sure, but I know I'm tired of being afraid. If we do this, you have to promise me something."

"Anything," Marissa quickly said.

"You have to stop blaming yourself, and you have to be patient with me."

"That's two things," teased Marissa.

Alex smiled. "You're right. It's a tall order. I'll understand if you're not up to the challenge."

Marissa couldn't stop smiling. "Trying to get rid of me already?"

"That depends," Alex answered. "Will you actually go away? Cause if you will-" Alex's words were cut off as Marissa playfully pushed her. "We'll have to go slow though."

"That shouldn't be a problem. We aren't exactly neighbors."

"True. Listen, I _do_ want this. I'm just not sure how I'll tell the boys. Their mom doesn't exactly date often."

"I find that hard to believe."

Alex chuckled. "It's not as hard as you'd think."

A thought occurred to Marissa and a sense of panic came over her. "What if they don't like me? You said it yourself, you don't date often. What if they don't want me dating you? I don't want to put you in that kind of situation."

Alex was touched with Marissa's concern. "They should be fine. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Let's not doom this thing before it begins."

"So…has it begun?" Marissa asked shyly.

"Now's a good time as any, right?"

Marissa nodded. "How much longer can you stay?"

Alex looked at her watch. "A few more hours top. Got to get some sleep. A sleep deprived doctor is no good."

"You want to head back to my place? We could watch a movie or something. Or we could grab a late night meal somewhere."

"Your place sounds good." Alex got up and held her hand out for Marissa.

"Follow me then." Marissa took a few steps before turning back around. She opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it back.

"Is everything okay?" Alex asked.

"Yeah. I just…I mean, would it be okay if…you don't have to-"

Alex placed a hand on Marissa's mouth. "Just ask it."

Marissa bit her bottom lip. "Is it okay if I…kiss you?"

Alex chuckled lightly, causing Marissa to blush with embarrassment. "That's why you're so worked up?"

Marissa looked at her feet. "I just wasn't sure if it was okay. I didn't want to be too forward or anything."

Alex put a finger under Marissa's chin and lifted it up. "It's more than okay."

Marissa smiled. She looked at Alex's lips then back to her eyes. Slowly, she leaned towards Alex. When their lips finally met, they both let out a sigh. It was a light kiss, but still very meaningful.

"I love you," Marissa said when she pulled away.

"I…"

"It's okay," assured Marissa. "I know you're not there yet. I can wait for it. Besides I haven't earned it yet, but I will. I don't expect you to say it back anytime soon. I just hope you don't mind my saying. It's just...I have to say it. I want to say it. I never want you to doubt it again."

"I think I can tolerate it," teased Alex. She caressed Marissa's face before reuniting their lips. This kiss was deeper. There was no rush in it. As they continued to kiss, both girls felt lighter. They weren't sure exactly sure how they'd make it work, but they knew they'd give it all they got. They'd do whatever takes because there, in each other's arms, both girls were finally whole again.


End file.
